Hello Brave Friends! Welcome to today’s expert episode, #244, featuring Mary Van Geffen, author of Parenting a Spicy One and parenting coach for families raising strong-willed, intense children.
These expert episodes are conversations with professionals whose work directly supports caregiving parents. In this episode, hosts Susanna Peace Lovell and Jessica Patay sit down with Mary to explore what it really means to parent a child who feels like they “need more than you have to give.”
Mary reframes the concept of the “spicy one”—a child who is strong-willed, emotionally intense, and often misunderstood—and challenges traditional parenting approaches that rely solely on discipline and control. Instead, she emphasizes compassion, emotional regulation, positive reinforcement, and what she calls “self-mothering” for parents. The conversation explores how self-care is essential—but not selfish—and how parents can protect themselves during aggressive outbursts while still leading with calm and clarity.
They also discuss sibling dynamics, navigating public perception, and the emotional complexity that can arise when one child requires significantly more energy than others. Mary encourages parents to name challenges openly, normalize the struggle, and create supportive environments where both parents and children can grow.
This episode offers practical tools, hopeful reframes, and the reminder that strong-willed children can grow into powerful advocates and leaders when met with steadiness and understanding.
Find more information about Mary Van Geffen here.
Find her book, Parenting a Spicy One, here.
Find more information about Life Coach, Susanna Peace Lovell here.
Find Susanna’s book, Your True Self is Enoughhere.
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Brave Together Podcast is a resource produced by We Are Brave Together, a global nonprofit that creates community for moms raising children with disabilities, neurodivergence, or complex medical and mental health conditions. The heart of We Are Brave Together is to preserve and protect the mental health of caregiving moms everywhere.
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