Welcome Mercedes Samudio. For almost a decade, Mercedes has been working with families to help them develop healthy communication skills, manage severe emotional issues, develop coping skills to manage behaviors, create dynamic parent-child relationships, and navigate social media & technology as a family.
Throughout the course of her career she has worked with adoptive families, foster families, teen parents, parents navigating the child protective services system, and children living with mental illness.
In 2014, Mercedes began to transition into her private practice where she focuses on parent coaching and guiding families to reducing unwanted behaviors, developing effective parenting strategies, creating healthy communication habits, and designing social media/tech plans for their household.
Content:
Mercedes talks about her background experience with teen parents
Supporting parents in being confident in their ever evolving parenting identity
Where #endparentshaming came from
Others/media offering mixed judgments – no one changes when they feel shame/unsafe
Movement to get people to see that even when others are doing things you don’t agree with, how to step into empathy to see where they need support
People doing the best they can with the tools they have
Shame as a defense to our own discomfort
“Raising a human while trying to be authentically human yourself”
You are bigger than your parent role
Take time to focus on self and partner as a tool for surrendering to what your child’s current challenge is
When we focus solely on our child’s mistakes, all we see are their mistakes
Bring the skills/areas of other parts of our life into the parts that feel a bit shakey
10,000 feet view
We have our own shame conversations….
Reframe the expectations you have of yourself
Example: how do you deal with things when you are angry?
What do I need, what can I do for myself?
How can I use my support system to help me?
The misperception that conscious parenting shouldn’t be hard
Conscious parenting requires us to be conscious parenting
18:30 quote
People are attached to their shame – the stories feel familiar
Figure out what your stories are that take you to shame
People grow and change in space that is free from shame and judgement
Considering FOO – Family Of Origin
Write down why these relationships matter to you
Still want connection…
Let them know WHY you want to stay connected (be specific)
Then, share what it is that you are going to be practicing and invite the family member into supporting you
Ask for alignment
CONNECT BEFORE CORRECT (not just for kids J )
Set you boundaries to keep YOUR bucket full for YOU family
Shameproof Parenting by Mercedes
How to build support with other parents and non parents
A shame proof village!
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
Being able to find joy even in the times when it’s not happening... I’m still showing up.
Where to find Mercedes:
Website l You Tube
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