Solo show – sharing from personal experience
Recap what is happening with my teenager
If you listened last year, you heard the struggle
Online school
Clients I’ve worked with
Friends confiding in their experience
What the stats say
My experience of finding information
What my gut tells me
The ways the world has changed
Why it’s so hard
Weight of fear/possible outcomes
Lack of control
Our own stories
PD is belonging and significance
Power of perception
What do we do when something feels “wrong” without giving message that they need to be fixed
The challenge of meeting them where they’re at
My experience with this….
Not knowing what this means
The dance of acting/fixing vs validating/being
The iceberg
Tip of the iceberg
They won’t talk, can’t identify what’s “wrong”, tears, withdrawal, aggression/defiance/anger, shut us out
Grades/friends/activities
Bad after school special
Under the surface
Hopelessness/fear/not know what or how they are feeling
Feelings of disconnection
Out of control
Anxiety/depression
The range….
Not all or nothing
Grey areas
Our own beliefs about mental health
My experience, looking back I was afraid to call it what it was because it made it true
My upbringing of not using things (family drama) as a “crutch” messaging
Enmeshment/codependency
I am going to get really vulnerable and highlight something that I see showing up because of the dynamics that are currently alive in my family
My experience with needing approval – give me the gold star, tell me how great I am
Wanting it from my family, especially my dad and step mom
Now noticing that I am searching for it from my daughter
NO BUENO
Getting spiritual
Carolyn Myss
My experience of energy work in the context of my relationship with Rowan
Life happens for us, so…. This is an experience that is happening for me? For Rowie?
Acknowledging my controlling tendencies and the message it sends
Letting go/backing off
Having a plan (with school) about what I will and won’t do with a request
Treatment
Counseling, naturopath, energy work – this is what WE are doing
You do you. Make choices for your kids.
Listen to your kids. Listen deeply. Hear without fixing
Ask permission
Give them space and trust they will come to you
Don’t be afraid to go big if things feel really off
Ask hard questions
GET SUPPORT
TALK TO EACH OTHER
Quit dismissing teens by saying “everyone feels that way” because even if it’s true this is not what they need to hear – they NEED to feel seen and heard
Check your expectations at the door, accept that this is a part of your parenting story
Take care of yourself
Check your codependency
GET HELP – if your gut tells you that what is happening with your child is extreme, seek help.
I say this to you and to myself. We will get to the other side of this, my friends. And only we get to decide if we get to GO through this time of our lives, or if we GROW through it.
Thank you to all of you parents of teens, those of you who are personal friends who have been brave enough to be in conversation with me, clients, listeners – you are not alone.
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