Scene 1
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a sec, hold on a sec. You think these pearls are nice?
Joey:I'd really prefer a mountain bike.
Chandler:Janice's birthday is coming up, I wanna get her something special. Come in here with me.
Joey:Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. You ah, you wanna get her something special, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.
Chandler:That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice, have a Hubba Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious.
Joey:Oh, you want something serious. You knowwhatyoushoulddo, youshouldgetherone ofthoseum, bariumenemas. Thosearedeadserious, youknow? Andyouknowshe'llneverget oneforherself.
Chandler:All right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever.
Joey:No, no, you can't, you can't, ok, you can't, you can't buy her pearls, you just can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. Why not? !
Joey:Oh God. Uh, ok, here's the thing, this is the thing, ok, the thing is... What is the thing? Ok. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice kissing her ex husband.
Chandler:What?
Joey:They were in his office.
Chandler:Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's, she's with me.
Joey:I'm telling you man, I saw it.
Chandler:Yeah, well, you're wrong! Ok, you're wrong.
Joey:I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
Scene 2
Joey: Hey uh, what's the matter?
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
Chandler: She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. You know I woke up this morning and I was in love, you know I was happy.
Joey: What are you ah, what're you gonna do?
Chandler: Aw! I don't know, you know? What, what would you do?
Joey: Well, it doesn't matter what I'd do.
Chandler: Come on, come on, tell me.
Joey: All right, you're...probably not gonna wanna hear this, but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? What're you, what're you talking about?
Joey: They have a kid together, you know? They're like, they're like a family, and if, I don'tknow, if there's chance they could make that work, I know I wouldn't wanna be the guy who stood in the way of that.
Scene 3
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because it's, it's, it's not gonna be easy.
Janice: Ok.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I don't wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, you know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy.Whenever I would see him I would always think you know 'You're the reason, you are the reason why they're not together.' and I I hated that guy. And it didn't matter how nice he was, or you know, how happy he made my Dad.
Janice: Wow!
Chandler: Yeah, well. It's the right thing to do.
Janice: Oh! You're right. Oh God. But, before I can say goodbye, there's something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, it's like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie's been singing about. You know, I mean what we have, it's like movie love, you're my soul mate, and I can't believe we're not gonna be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Then don't leave me!
Janice: What?
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Janice: No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I I I gotta give my marriage another chance.
Chandler: No you don't! No, no, no, I say, you have to give your divorce another chance.
Janice: I'm sorry.
