First, I smiled to myself and felt elate.
我先是暗自发笑，感到十分得意。
But this fierce pleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my pulses.
但是这种狂喜犹如一时加快的脉膊会迅速递减一样，很快就消退了。
A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play,
一个孩子像我这样跟长辈斗嘴，像我这样毫无顾忌地发泄自己的怒气，
as I had given mine, without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction.
事后必定要感到悔恨和寒心。
A ridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a meet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed.
我在控诉和恐吓里德太太时，内心恰如一片点燃了的荒野，火光闪烁，来势凶猛。
The same ridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have represented as meetly my subsequent condition,
我内心的这片荒地，便已灰飞烟灭，留下的只有黑色的焦土了。
when half-an-hour's silence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the dreariness of my hated and hating position.
但经过半小时的沉默和反思，深感自己行为的疯狂和自己恨人又被人嫉恨的处境的悲凉时，
Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time.
我第一次尝到了复仇的滋味。
And aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy.
犹如芬芳的美酒，喝下时热辣辣好受。
Its after-flavour, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.
但回味起来却又苦又涩，给人有中了毒的感觉。
Willingly would I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon.
此刻，我很乐意去求得里德太太的宽恕。
But I knew, partly from experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her repulse me with double scorn,
但经验和直觉告诉我，那只会使她以加倍的蔑视讨厌我，
thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse of my nature.
因而会重又激起我天性中不安份的冲动。
I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking.
我愿意发挥比说话刻薄更高明的才能。
Fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation.
也愿意培养比郁愤更好的情感。
I took a book — some Arabian tales; I sat down and endeavoured to read.
我取了一本阿拉伯故事书，坐下来很想看看。
I could make no sense of the subject.
我却全然不知所云。
My own thoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found fascinating.
我的思绪飘忽在我自己与平日感到引人入胜的书页之间。
I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room.
打开早餐室的玻璃门。
The shrubbery was quite still. The black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds.
只见灌木丛中一片—沉寂，虽然风和日丽，严霜却依然覆盖着大地。
I covered my head and arms with the skirt of my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was quite sequestrated.
我撩起衣裙裹住脑袋和胳膊，走出门去，漫步在一片僻静的树林里。
But I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the falling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn,
但是沉寂的树木、掉下的杉果，以及那凝固了的秋天的遗物，
russet leaves, swept by past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together.
被风吹成一堆如今又冻结了的行褐色树叶，都没有给我带来愉快。
