In today's podcast, I'm discussing Judith Herman's seminal work "Trauma and Recovery," which I highly recommend for anyone interested in understanding or healing from trauma. Herman outlines three key stages of recovery: establishing safety, remembrance and mourning, and reconnection with everyday life.
These stages resonate with the fundamental human needs for understanding, care, and help. In a previous episode on secrecy, I mentioned the addiction recovery adage that we're as sick as our secrets. This idea is exemplified by Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme scandal during the 2008 housing crisis. Madoff couldn't bear to disappoint investors; he took their money without investing it and paid returns with funds from new investors until everything collapsed when clients demanded their money back.
Madoff had kept his fraudulent activities secret even from his family. His case illustrates how easy it can be to deceive others when perceived as an expert—a cautionary tale about ego and vulnerability.
The core message here is the importance of finding a safe space to share one’s truth—this could be transformative. Therapists offer such environments where stories are heard without judgment. Unburdening oneself of secrets can lead to reconnecting with society—an essential step towards healing that cannot happen in isolation.
If you struggle in relationships or trust issues due to betrayal, consider therapy or support groups but proceed cautiously while honoring your feelings throughout this journey toward self-trust.
