Regret is a tricky emotion. It can leave us with shame and guilt about things we have done or not done. Or, it might lead us to false bravado, thinking that we should live life with no regrets.
Listen in to today's episode to learn how to process regrets, the reason why living a life with no regrets is unhelpful and what to do about the shame brought on my our relationship with alcohol.
The truth is, (almost) every human experiences regrets; children under the age of 7 or people with a neurological disorder are the only people that don’t. That means that regret is a by-product of the human condition. It’s not that you have a moral failing or you can’t ever learn from your past. In fact, regret has a clear purpose in helping us grow.
Regret is often confused with disappointment. Brene Brown defines the difference this way: With disappointment, we often believe the outcome was out of our control. With regret, we believe the outcome was caused by our decisions or actions.
Regret also has a connection to vulnerability and shame. To acknowledge our regrets takes courage and vulnerability. It’s hard to process regret because it hurts a bit and we can even carry some shame about our behavior. But, when we can face regret with self-compassion, we can learn so much.
Regret is designed to help us clarify what really matters. When we have regrets, it gives us information about our values and teaches us to be bolder, braver and kinder.
