In case you couldn't tell from the title, I'm not a big fan of bok choy. In fact, I think it's how you say "fuck you" in Chinese.
Mandarin, or Cantonese? Hmmm.
I get your confusion, we're talking about a food item here, not an ex who brought home a surprise STD. Therefore, there's no justification to treat it with equal vitriol, but it's just that my hands are experiencing chopstick fatigue from constantly fishing it out of my perfect bowl of pho. At least it was perfect – before I discovered bok choy transforming my warm meal into a kelp forest.
It's just that I don't consider bok choy human food. I'm sure ducks love it, but to them, anything that floats in a pond and resembles something soft and wet that doesn't require teeth will get them to their quacky place. But for me, soggy lettucelery is not food.
Is bubblegum food? What about Styrofoam? Rats eat it. I wonder if they would eat bok choy...
Probably not.
Anyway, did you know that eating celery burns more calories than it contains? This is called a negative calorie food. I don't believe bok choy is a negative calorie food, just a negative vortex that induces a trickle of anguish when I see it drastically hovering in my steaming bowl. And sure, just pick it out and move on – but then there's the regret of wasting food not fit for the compost pile.
Maybe I should shut the fuck up and be grateful.
Maybe I should just stick to pizza.
One time when I was a teenager, I bought a bunk bag of joints from some dude in his 20s. It was later deduced as rolled oregano, but I'll bet it was dried up, shredded bok choy.
Oh, and by the way, fuck Brussels sprouts!
