Ashlie: (00:18)
Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.
Clint: And I'm your co-host Clint Walton.
Ashlie:
In today's episode, we're going to talk a little bit about box breathing and why it's so important to not only improve your concentration but to also help to reduce stress anytime that you need it. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content. Clint, why don't you just start out by telling the listener a little bit about your interpretation of what box breathing is.
Clint: (00:49)
For me, the box breath consists of breathing in for five seconds, holding it for five seconds, releasing for five seconds and sitting on the release after you've released all the oxygen in your lungs for five seconds and starting that process over. And for me, it's been really helpful in those instances, especially when I'm getting ready to head home from work. I start up my truck and I start driving and really start disconnecting myself from the whole mindset of the go-go-go all day to where I can come home and be with you on a daily basis. It's something that has become a ritual for me and in focusing on the breath, it cuts off all other thoughts. Those thoughts arise and you just kind of let them go, but you're focusing on your breath and that alone, and you can count for the five seconds or not, but it's something that has really just put ease within myself on a daily basis and it really lets me start that disconnection from work to when I come home. I'm just very just in the moment and I'm not wrapped up in everything I have to do or didn't do or whatever else it may be throughout the day.
Ashlie: (02:20)
I would say that you and I are relatively calm people, but that doesn't mean that we don't have times where we're negatively triggered. As you sit there, and if you've listened to this show for a while, after I lost my mom, I really took on a great deal of responsibility as it pertains to things that I need to do in order to help my dad. In doing that, I know that there's a bigger purpose. There are so many times frequently when I'll start to feel that sense of agitation creeping and when that starts to happen, it's not just the one. It starts to lead to this snowball of thoughts and I know that for me, I have to stop that snowball before it even starts. And I'll give you a perfect example. My dad has a tendency to ask me to do things for him last minute.
Ashlie: (03:16)
He's the owner of a construction company and my schedule is very well planned out up until the time that I go to sleep until the moment that I wake up. There's no white space on my calendar as Grant Cardone likes to say. I have it like that with intention and when there are things that come in and create this pattern interrupt and they happen in a way that don't necessarily serve me, I start to feel that trigger and it's a bigger problem when it comes to trying to help out your family, right? Helping out my dad. He doesn't have anybody else to do the things that he asks me to do to help him and I never mind doing that... If it's an anticipation. If I know that he's going to need help with the payroll or creating a proposal or whatever, it may be.
But when he comes to him asking me to do something last minute, especially when I'm at the stage in my night, when I've sat down my cell phone, we try to incorporate the no cell phone rule two hours before we go to bed and then I'm asked to hop on my computer or to look something up or make an appointment or write an email like whatever it is… It starts to create some frustration.
Ashlie: (04:30)
And it comes to another stem of thoughts to where in my mind, I tell myself, okay, well this isn't urgent. It can wait until tomorrow…but I already know what tomorrow's plan looks like and I don't always want to alter what that plan is. And I also don't want to forget to do it. But for me it would require me getting up, going into my calendar, rearranging some things. And inevitably it seems easier for me to just do it in the moment and to disrupt my pattern than it is for me to add it on and tack it onto another to do list.
Ashlie: (05:06)
And so after incorporating box breathing, what I've found is when I start to feel that trigger and I feel like it's going to lead me down this rabbit hole of negative thoughts that I don't want to feel because I don't feel that negativity towards my dad, I feel that negativity towards the situation in the moment. And I'm able to really center my concentration and to really decide how I want to feel. And that doesn't come from something with cognizant intention. And I say that because when you practice box breathing long enough, you know that there's this mindless capability that comes in to where the thoughts of the ego and the thoughts of the frustration or whatever it is that you're dealing with in that moment, they don't necessarily matter as much because you're in a different state. For me, I like to do a rep of five, so I'll do the box breathing and I'll do it over and over and over again for a total of five times.
Ashlie: (06:04)
I don't know if that's because five is my lucky number, but it works for me. And as you start to incorporate this practice into your own life, you might find that the number is less or more. But the key is whatever suits you and works for you best. And this doesn't mean that if you have problems, it's going to make all your problems go away. Everybody has problems. But what it is, is it another tool that you can use to sending yourself and to create some more balance during those moments when something happens that you didn't expect and it starts to offset what life should look like in your viewpoint. And I love that. I love it because it doesn't cost any money. It's something you can use over and over again. And it's really simple. It's easy to teach, it's easy to teach and instruct to someone else.
Ashlie: (06:56)
If I had kids, I couldn't imagine teaching them how to do it, we should probably teach my little nephew how to do it. And it would help a lot when it comes to balance and even some of those chaotic moments in life. And I think when you have any tools like this that you can incorporate on a routine basis, it's just another ability for you to be able to really decide how it is that you want to feel in the moment and not allow someone else to control your emotions, your ego, and for you to just ground yourself in a way that you're very direct and intentional with your concentration, your emotions and your feelings. And by having that as a simple tool, there are so many breathing exercises. If you just go onto YouTube and check them out for yourself and find at least one that you can constantly turn to.
Ashlie: (07:43)
And it's not a, it's not a mere matter of just practicing at once. You have to practice it so much to where every time you start to feel that negative emotion, it starts to become like second nature. To utilize this as a tool that you're going be able to carry with you for the rest of your life. And if you have more than one of these mental tools to be able to use, it really allows you to be that calm person. And people ask us all of the time questions pertaining to the way that we are independently and the way that we act when we're around each other and that's not because things are perfect, it's just because Clint, I had decided with intent, how we want to feel about the control of our minds and most importantly, at least in my viewpoint, is how much we don't want other people to have control over our minds and over our thoughts.
Clint: (08:37)
Yeah, and that's a great point. It's something that both of us have really dialed in to the fact of why should anybody else control our emotions or how we react to any instance and in focusing on the box breath or the other techniques that we've learned over this time, it's, it's so helpful. It alleviates any tension or stress that you're holding. If you get cut off in traffic and instead of yelling at the person, you just kind of let it go. That's something that has helped me tremendously. I've never really been a yeller at other vehicles, but internally it, it pisses me off. But I don't let that dude, I don't let them do that to me anymore.
Ashlie: (09:29)
It took a long time for me to come to terms and to come to grips with having that emotional concept to be acceptable for me because I always had this theory of like if people are so stupid that they're going to cut you off and jeopardize your own safety essentially is what it comes down to for me. Like they need to know about it and I would lay my horn down on them and I would let them know like what a piece of shit I thought they were for doing something like cutting me off. But in presencing myself during times like that, and this isn't something I'm perfect at by no means, but by doing this for the past year or so, that emotion that was triggered in me during situations like that, I don't have that. And I can say that with certainty like at all anymore.
Clint: (10:18)
And especially I look at it as in the morning on your drive to work, something happens. You're already setting yourself up for anger and frustration for that whole date. And all of us for the most part commute to work and deal with one or multiple stupid drivers. But you're setting yourself up with that intention starting out your day of, of negativity instead of just being your normal happy self.
Ashlie: (10:51)
And when you think about the fact that anytime somebody does negatively stimulate you in some way you're mad at them, you've identified that that's your inner ego telling you that there's something that you don't like about that person. But that's not the reality of the situation. And a lot of the times, especially when it comes to the driving situation, we don't know the reality of the situation, why that happened, what that person's life looks like, what their day look like. And by understanding that you have the ability to control your own cognizant awareness and how you want to feel and how you don't want to feel. And by having something such as simple as a breathing tool that could take you just minutes to be able to complete and run through on your own, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living.
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