Ashlie: (00:18)
Welcome back to another episode of Tactical Living by LEO Warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton.
Clint: And I'm your co-host, Clint Walton.
Ashlie:
And in today's episode we're going to talk about why having the inability to disconnect from work is not just impacting you. So just sit back, relax and enjoy today's content.
Ashlie: (00:38)
a little over a year ago, I'll paint the setting for you. When Clinton, I would get home from work. I had managed a pediatric practice. Of course, Clint is a police officer. We'd usually eat dinner, workout,
Ashlie: (00:56)
And we would sit on the couch for hours until we went to bed. And this wasn't a moment where we were connecting, snuggling, watching a movie together. Instead it would look something like the news playing in the background, Clint playing a game on his phone and me reading and getting completely engrossed in a romance novel on my Kindle.
Ashlie: (01:25)
And in retrospect, I can remember countless nights that looked exactly like that.
Ashlie: (01:34)
And this is not the fault of either one of us, but this is the fault of both of us. What that led to was such a disconnection in our emotional state that it affected everything else. It affected our sex life, it affected our communication and it affected us to the point to where we were not growing at that point. Essentially we were stuck in a rut. We weren't in a place to where we were expanding and experiencing life anywhere near what's comparable now
Ashlie: (02:13)
so what's changed? First starters, we don't get home and plop on the couch and we have very intentional direction with regards to our marriage. We have rules and guidelines and goals that are set up on a consistent basis and we have many projects that we're working on. Even like this podcast that you're listening now to now that we work on together
Ashlie: (02:43)
and the reason that I'm pointing this out is because neither one of us were able to disconnect from work at the time. And I believe that that is the foundational premise for why that negative behavior started in the first place. And then [inaudible] backing up a little bit before we even got home, we would talk to each other on the phone and unload our day.
Clint: (03:08)
Yeah.
Speaker 2: (03:09)
Not in a way to where we were pointing out the things that worked to our favor for that day, but we were unloading all of the suck to one another.
Ashlie: (03:18)
And this in no way means that I do not believe that you should share these moments with your partner.
Ashlie: (03:24)
However, what I've discovered is that a majority of the time, none of that suck matters and the crop that you experience on a day to day basis should essentially be put up on the bookshelf, especially when you're on your drive home to hang out with one another and to be with your family, to be with your kids
Ashlie: (03:45)
and by having some of the practices that we've mentioned in the past few episodes and one that we're going to, ones that we're going to continue to build on during this month.
Ashlie: (03:55)
I just want to point out what a difference it can make in your life.
Ashlie: (04:01)
Having those negative conversations with one another meant that we were building on this negative energy before we even walked through the door to see one another.
Clint: (04:11)
And in that it really impacted both of us because we were feeding off that negative influence upon one another. And then subsequently we almost kind of tied that negative emotion towards each other. Cause that's all we were talking about, right? The first words we shared when we got off of work. And so it brought up those negative emotions in instead of just springing at the positivity of actually getting to come home and be with one another and share that space and open up a world of opportunity surrounding our days and our lives.
Ashlie: (04:55)
and as you sit there, you might be wondering, so how do you do that? And I just want to go over a very simple tool that I didn't learn from anybody. It came to me naturally during one of my meditations when I was having a difficult time relaxing my mind and just shutting off that inner chatter.
Ashlie: (05:14)
And if you could just hold onto this method and practice it during this week and send us a message on Facebook @leowarriors1 or Instagram @leowarriors. Send me an email. My email address is in the show notes, just explaining to me if you tried this and if you did, what impact it had during your week. And so the process is simple. As you get in your car and you're starting to drive home, I want you to pay very close attention to any moment that you have when a thought comes into your mind as it pertains to work at all. That could be something that you experienced throughout your day and inevitably it might have something more to do with what you have to do for the days coming forward. And when you do that, I want you to picture a balloon, picture what color that balloon is, and put that thought into the balloon any way that feels right for you.
Ashlie: (06:15)
Maybe you put that thought into your balloon and you see the energy. Maybe you can see a caption with that thought inside of the balloon and I want you to picture it being released up into the sky until you can't see it anymore. And as you're driving home with the very intentful awareness, continue to do the same thing. Anytime that you have a thought that creeps in about work, put it into that balloon, watch it fly away until it's gone and start to focus on something more impactful, something more impactful with regards to what it is that you're about to experience as you walk into your, to your home, to your family. And as you do that, I want you to fully start to embrace what that feels like. Create a mental to do list if you need to, for all of the things that you're about to experience when you come home. And furthermore, the things that you want to experience when you walk into the door.
Ashlie: (07:12)
As you sit there, it might look something like, I have to send this person an email. Put that email inside of your balloon. Picture the color of the balloon. Fill your hands. Is it unclenching the string? That's holding the balloon to you and let it go.
Ashlie: (07:31)
change that thought process into what it is that you're going to see and experience when you come home. Picturing the handle of your front door, picturing your dog as it's wagging its tail, excited to see you when you come home and everything thereafter that follows in that picture that you want to exist when you walk into the house and as you continue to drive home as new thoughts start to creep in, something that upsets you at work from the day prior. Put it into your balloon and let it go. And the reason this is so important is because it allows you to use intention and to use the cognitive powers that you have inside of you. You have this brilliant mind that's capable of doing much more than it has ever taught to us.
Ashlie: (08:16)
Then you have the capacity to be able to change your reality and all of that crap that suck that gets bottled up day in and day out is inevitably going to inevitably going to start to change what your day looks like when you get home. If you don't want to plop on the couch and sit with your cell phone until you go to bed, decide that with intention on your drive home. What does that new to do list look like for you? And if you're worried or feel that anybody that you live with might think that this is off the wall by disrupting the pattern. I commend you for that and what I encourage you to do is explain to the people that you live with, that it's time to change things and that you're not happy and comfortable with what the living situation looks like when you're at home together.
Ashlie: (09:06)
This will allow you to expand on the creative energy and the input from everybody that you live with and by doing that, that positive to do list that you start to create each day on your way home will make big impacts not only on you but on your family, especially on your spouse and on your kids. If that means that you're going to have a picnic out on your front porch because you've probably never done that before. Why not get creative and think outside of the box? This social norm doesn't have to be normal for you, and when you understand that and you know that you have the ability to create your own reality and to make the picture look like exactly what you always thought it would, then you're really able to enjoy your Tactical Living
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