Would you ever put everyone you love into a blender and flip the switch?
When I became a member of a 'blended' family in 2009, I entered what felt like a blender. It seemed like the chaos and conflict would never end between the two 'sides' of my step-sons life. When I had children of my own suddenly the weight of being in a blended family felt heavier. Unfortunately, I didn't learn many important lessons in time to save my first marriage, but I eventually came to realize that no family should ever been referred to as blended and no family should ever try to pulverize everyone together. When I think of being in a blender, it sounds violent, cold, and terrifying.
I now think of my family as 'combined'. Each part of the family has a different personality and different experiences, some have different ideas about how the family should look, and some aren't willing to participate in any of the family process. However, all the members are still part of the combined family. Think of it as a wonderful salad, where each part represents a part of the children's family who are gently mixed together but still get to remain who they are.
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Bee Evans
