Susan, your host, welcomes Maria Belanic to today's conversation. Maria is a mother grandmother and grief mentor. Like many parents, she never thought about the unimaginable happening until it did. When her oldest son died of leukemia in 2009, it felt like her heart had shattered into pieces leaving her feeling broken and lost. For years it was a roller coaster of emotions that led to isolation and ill health.
Through her experience, she discovered strategies and tools to heal and find inner peace. This is not about getting over it or moving on; her journey made her passionate about helping others feel acknowledged and find ways to heal.
Ultimately, you are the expert on your grief.
Key Takeaways:
Maria shares her grief story of when her son was diagnosed with cancer and fought it for 11 years.
Maria's son was given 48 hours to live but lived for over three months.
Maria and Susan share their feelings regarding people's ability to show empathy and compassion for their grief and everything involved in it.
Grief changes with time and Maria recognizes herself as an unapologetic griever.
Maria calls the anniversary of her son's death the death day; she feels "anniversary" is something to celebrate, while his death isn't.
The times leading to the events are far worse than the day itself.
Grievers tend to worry about other people's feelings; who is worrying about your feelings?
Some people will judge your feelings. You are grieving, do it your way; some will just not get it.
Grief can make you work on autopilot; you are functioning, but you are not fully present at the moment. After a while, you must stop pretending; if they can't take your authentic self, maybe they are not the right people to be with.
Leaning into your feelings is much better help than running away from them.
As a griever, you want to share memories about your person.
It is not a competition; your loss will always be the worst for you.
Maria shares how she turned trauma into her mission.
Our unresolved feelings will appear during grief.
Give yourself compassion; stop pressuring yourself. Grief needs to be witnessed.
We have been taught to repress our feelings since we were young and that stays with us. Allow your feelings to express themselves, they are not mistaken.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve; honor your feelings.
Resources
Email Susan: susan@tendrilsofgrief.com
If you find this episode helpful, please donate.
Meet Maria Belanic
Follow Maria on Instagram
Visit Maria Belanic's Website
Gift: 5 Secrets to Unlock Self-Compassion
How to Harness Self-Care for Grievers: A Path to Emotional Healing
Quotes:
"Hope should never be given or taken away from anyone."
"When you are a caregiver, you put other people's needs in front of your own."
"All of our emotions are information to us."
"Sometimes it is courageous to just wake up in the morning."
"Turn your trauma into purpose."
