Description

In this podcast, learn how to give your children only two things:

Give them ROOTS and give them WINGS. Roots mean security, love, dependability, safety, security, etc. And wings means to teach your child to think for themselves so they can fly one day soon. In a few short years from 13 to 18 they are under a lot of STRESS to prepare to be on their own, financially, emotionally, with relationships, etc. Thats a lot of pressure. The best thing you can give your child is the ability to think for themselves with safety and security.

By the way, the reason I can help you is, besides my academic understanding of adolescent theories of development and family systems theory, the best part of what I know is because I have 5 kids myself and 4 step kids visited often. Would you believe that at one time we had a 5 year old AND 8 teenagers at the same time! Yep. Not much can surprise me. I also worked in delinquent facilities so I have seen the gamat. 

I can tell you, that many times with ONE tweak your family dynamic will turn around. Attitude and action. The dynamic between you and your teen will be immediate and your teens actions will turn for the better. All the skills and tools you learn will be useful in your life with others as well. My husband and I truly used the skills and tools I am going to share with you! Today they are 9 functioning adults and 15 grandkids! 

In this podcast I explain that your teen is like a nice loaf of bread that you just put in the oven. It is sometimes lumpy, one side grows more than the other and the WORST thing you can do is keep opening up the oven to watch! Get out of the bread's way and let it rise and grow. Stop looking so closely at the bread. TRUST the process a bit more. 

Your kid is NOT you. You are not your kid. He/she has a brain… show her how to use it. Quit thinking for him all the time. Don't turn her into an obedient robot that has not mind or thinking process. Trust him more! 

We go over the difference between normal and abnormal behavior. Normal behavior for teens is: lazy, sleeps all day, if they can get away with it, don't take responsibility for their actions, Etc. Yes, that would be normal. 

Now an abnormal child is: helpful, team player, wants to go to school and get themselves up, wants to go to church, consistently helps around the house, cleans up after themselves... now isn't that just interesting? 

Low risk behaviors are behaviors that seem awful but are actually normal and part of growing up. For example, normal things like: being rude to authority, disrespectful on occasion, disobedient every once in while, mildly defiant, running away wants to hang around the crowd for a while, lying and deceiving on small things occasionally etc. these things are low risk but to be monitored. 

Now in contrast, high-risk is when it requires immediate actions such as severe eating disorders as defined and diagnosed, drug abuse, mild or hard drugs, activities that include anything illegal immoral or unethical.  It is more than a one time episode, and of course suicidal tendencies. This should be monitored directly and with a professional. 

I go over some tasks of adolescence. A teen has SO much to do from age 14 to 18, like growing, thinking, financial plans and career, relationships… so much. If they sleep a lot, they should! 

We also talk a bit about parenting styles and identity development. There's a whole lot to talk about in this area. Hope this helps you!

If you want the episode show notes and a full transcript go to www.whatstopsyou.com

I would Love to hear your comments on todays topic!  How this information has helped you?

Talk soon Dar-lings!