thekindoflove.com
instagram.com/aarontosti
instagram.com/nikcherwink
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:23 min Aaron Talks
Growing up in a culture where the phrase toxic masculinity gets thrown around a lot and where there is a need for men to redefine and reframe what healthy masculinity looks like.
We’ve heard things like
Vulnerability is be weak
Men aren’t supposed to show there emotions
What do we do with emotions like anger or stress ?
Nik Cherwink is an athlete and an artist. He coaches musicians in their business and their creativity.
Reframing and Knowing that to be vulnerable is not weak, hiding is weak, and when we take the risk to share our emotions, we become grounded and create deeper connection.
being a vulnerable strong man
Struggling with being an artist and an athlete
Expressing your emotions like anger without exploding and being harmful
Our culture has no initiation for men and addressing our masculinity and we don’t have a place to address that it becomes toxic
3:15 min
Aaron’s intro about the story’s we tell ourselves
What Nick is doing now, it began helping artists with their creativity and life
Nik became intentional doing men’s work
6:50 min
Nik acknowledging that he’s not there yet to coach men
Nik wants to start making music himself
Being an artist, athlete, and blanking the masculine and feminine
9:00 min
Being and artist but also releasing the wild man
Nik has struggled with two identities
Nik was always into sports and music
All of us are both of masculine and feminine
11:00 min
Externally we get out of balance and that can get
Artists get trapped in to feminine, but some times get lost in the masculine
12:00 min
Nik’s story of sports to music and rave culture
Balancing Healthy masculinity
Being a chronic procrastinator
Nik’s father was not being there
Finding masculinity through sports
Not having a place for men to get initiated
15:20 min
How can we as guys live more healthy in the masculine
Being vulnerable as a man
Putting up a front is from a place of fear
More masculine and courage to be vulnerable, let go, share your emotions and not be fake
18 min
Acknowledge and express
Being assertive, masculine, and sharing your feelings
Noticing whats coming up
Being present and not going to vices
Have a healthy release out like like Crossfit and drumming
21:20 min
When it comes up in relationships
Can I express my emotions from a place of grounded-ness
Don’t blow over but also don’t shove it down
Learning how to deal with anger
Being mad for no reason and understanding it’s not from anything current happening
24 min
Navigating your anger in a relationship without it being harmful
Nik’s story around navigated anger
When a fight is escalating, holding boundaries, and speaking firmly in love
Understanding that we’re not going to talk in that way
27:45 min
Feminine wants to be guided, directed, and grounded
Establish respect for both people
29 min
Most of this wasn’t taught to Nik by his father
Get out there and pick up some of these books
Book: The Yay of the Superior Man
Book: No More Mister Nice Guy
31 min
Glad you could join this conversation on TKOL Podcast.
Did you have any breakthroughs or ah-has ? Please share your feedback in the podcast review section.
If you’re an artist and you’d like to get to the next level in your creativity and your career, you can connect with Nik on instagram.com/nikcherwink
If you struggling in harmful relationship partners like people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and you are frustrated with love you can connect with me on instagram.com/aarontosti or thekindloflove.com
Thanks for listening to TKOL Podcast.
I’m Aaron
Best of Love to you