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thekindoflove.com
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23 min Aaron Talks
What do you mean hug your thoughts and befriending your nervous system?
It was a conclusion I came to after being in therapy.
I was repeating myself, it was a form of trauma
I began observing the thoughts, emotion, and stress I was in
2:00 min
Catastrophizing your relationship. Making it worst in my brain and thoughts.
I was in a roller coaster relationship
Be careful when self-diagnosing
I was getting triggered in my environment
There wasn’t a real relationship
3:45 min Not Beating Yourself Up
I was should-ing all over myself
It’s not your fault, its how you where programed to be in a relationship
Not taking you or your partner personally
I began to have compassion for myself
Notice your thoughts and detach from them
5 min
Romanticizing the good parts after a break up
Being in denial and living in a fantasy. You’re not accepting the entire picture
Continuing to go down harmful thought patterns
Every relationship is a two way conversation and a dance, are you in sync ?
6:15 min
Hard time to moving on
We get attached and even addicted to the stories we tell ourselves
Feel like you’re still in the relationship by re-traumatizing yourself
beating yourself is a dysfunctional way to stay safe, but actually a survival mechanism
I was on a loop, like a song on repeat
7:50 min
Had to Heal my thoughts and your nervous system and see how they are connected
Every time I was triggered, the emotion put be back in the loop again
Why would I put us through a roller coaster relationship ?
What about you is causing the hurt ?
We don’t consciously try to destroy a relationship or try to harm it
9:10 min
My ex had forgiven me, but I hadn’t forgiven myself
You have to have empathy and compassion towards yourself
You have to hug and be kind to yourself to move on
We get addicted to the high and low
Only way to break free from a relationship is to love yourself
Had to tame your inner critic, and see yourself for who you are
Un-forgiveness is a trap
10:45 min
We want to protect ourselves and stay safe
Whats happening on a conscious but also an unconscious level
Stick instead of a snake, not seeing behavior as a treat
Just a story keeping you in a pain loop
12 min
Befriend your nervous system
Hugging your thoughts
Slow down, pause and observe whats going on for you
We typically go into relationships and experience similar behaviors, and see our partners as a threat
See Your partner as a gift to learn more rather than a threat
Understand what the trigger is for you
It’s not always a threat
14 min
We are meaning making machines, it’s how we interpret a situation
Having compassion for your thoughts
How would you love a bully
If you’re constantly living in a story that’s causing pain, ask if its true or not
Stop attaching an identity to you thoughts
Observe your thoughts and emotions
Take your nervous system out for a walk
16:30 closing thoughts
If you’re struggling in harmful relationship patterns and finding your self-worth, you can connect with me on instagram @aarontosti or thekindoflove.com
Thanks for listening to TKOL podcast.
I’m Aaron.
Best of Love to you.