#258
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Exercise #1: The Most Interesting Man in the World Exercise
Use When:
- You need a non-lame icebreaker for a new group of men
- You want a light-hearted and fun experience for an established group of men
Time Needed
- 30-60 minutes (10 mins needed for the setup and the writing)
Tools Needed:
Recommended Group Sizes:
- No group size too small or too big
- For the readouts, you can keep men in large groups or break into small groups
Structure:
- Tell the men they’ll be writing 10 or more “interesting” things about themselves
- Most men will need “prompts” to get the juices flowing, so read some of the ones below before giving them time to write
- Share your own list of 10 (don’t skip this step! Hearing these examples really sparks creativity)
- Give them 5 minutes to write, and slowly read the prompts again while they write
- After the time is up, have them read out their list to the group
- Any group member is allowed to stay “Stop! Tell me more!” anytime something piques their interest.
Prompts*:
*They don’t need to answer every question…only the ones that spark an interesting tidbit about themselves:
- Where have you lived?
- What have you traveled?
- What was the worst travel experience you’ve had?
- What injuries have you sustained?
- What scars/tattoos/unique body characteristics do you have?
- When did you get in trouble?
- What nicknames have you had?
- Did you ever collect anything?
- What’s your most prized possession (now, or as a kid?)
- What was the best birthday gift you ever received?
- Did you ever run away from home?
- What’s an achievement you’re proud of?
- What’s a particularly colossal failure you’ve experienced?
- What’s an embarrassing moment you’ve sustained?
- What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
- What’s the best/worst job you’ve ever had?
- What special skills/talents do you have?
- What useless skills/talents do you have?
- What’s a quirk that you have that your partner makes fun of you for?
Exercise #2: Making Your Life Movie
Use When:
- You want a group of men to build deeper rapport
- You have 45 to 90 minutes of time
Time Needed:
Tools Needed:
Recommended Group Sizes:
- No group size too small or too big
- For the readouts, you can keep men in large groups or break into small groups
Structure:
- Have the men imagine they’ve just been called a movie studio who wants to buy the rights to a movie about a particular era of their life, and they need to come up with a story worthy for the big screen.
- Read each prompt below, and give men 20-30 seconds to journal on each prompt.
- Once finished, have each man read out their movie to the entire group (or in small breakouts)
- The role of the listeners = Supportive Movie Studio Agent. Their job is to ask questions and dig for the juicy details to help flesh out the story.
10 Prompts:
- What’s the most cinematic era of your life? (could be a period of years, a few days, a particular series of events over a period of time, etc)
- What were 2-3 standout moments from that era of your life?
- What adversity did you face?
- Who’s the villain(s) in your story?
- Whos’ the unsung hero?
- Were there any plot twists?
- What are the biggest insights from this era?
- What songs/singers/bands would be on your soundtrack?
- Who would narrate your movie?
- What’s the working title of your movie?
Exercise #3: The Defining Moment Exercise
Use When:
- Your group is ready to go deep and vulnerable
- You want to venture from the head into the heart (feelings and emotions)
- You feel confident you can safely lead a man into potentially emotionally challenging situations
Time Needed:
- At least 45 minutes per man
Tools Needed:
Recommended Group Sizes:
- For new groups, 10 men or fewer
- For established groups, 20 men or fewer
Structure:
- One man (the Explorer) shares a 3-5 minute story of a defining moment in his life
- At the conclusion of those 3-5 minutes, another man (the Guide) will thank the Explorer for sharing that story with the group
- Guide will then ask the Explorer to close his eyes and connect internally with what he’s feeling after having told that story
- The Guide will spend the next 10 minutes guiding the Explorer into his emotions and feelings by asking probing questions about two things:
- What he’s feeling/experiencing right now
- What it felt like during the moments he described in his story
- Examples:
- “What’s coming up for you right now, emotionally?”
- “Can you feel that emotion somewhere in your body? Where is it?”
- “How did that feel when you shared about ______?”
- “If I was in your body right now, what would I be feeling?”
- “Can you sit with that feeling/emotion for a moment?”
- NO advice
- NO problem solving
- NO fixing
- STAY AWAY from “what do you think” – the word “think” puts a man in his head
After the 10 minutes of the Guide leading the Explorer, the rest of the group is invited to be Guides and ask similar questions - Near the end of the time, Guide lets the Explorer know that he is winding down
- When time is up, Guide gently invited the Explorer to bring eyes back to open
- Have the Explorer make eye contact with every man in the room
- Guide thanks Explorer for what he’s shared
- Guide asks Explorer for reflections on the experience
- Guide asks the rest of the Guides to provide reflections on their experiences of listening to the
- Explorer (no advice, no problem solving)
