00:00:08:12 – 00:00:31:08

Nick McGowan

Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests in, I unpack the stories that shape us and the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. Today on the show, we have Jeevan Matharu. Jeevan is a financial advisor and author and a transformational coach whose IQ puts him in the top 2%.

00:00:31:24 – 00:00:48:21

Nick McGowan

We discuss what it means to be a person of value and how he’s coupled his intelligence with an insatiable appetite for new information. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin. Age even. Welcome to the show. How are you doing, man?

00:00:48:23 – 00:00:52:04

Jeevan Matharu

I’m really good. Thanks. And thank you very much for having me on, Nick.

00:00:53:01 – 00:01:08:01

Nick McGowan

Yeah, absolutely. I appreciate your reaching out. I was looking through some of your background and what you’re what you’re getting into and what you’ve done so far. And I’m excited to have you on the show. I love when I get to be able to have people on the show that aren’t part of the same culture that I’m in or even in the same country.

00:01:08:08 – 00:01:21:08

Nick McGowan

And I’m sure people could tell right off the bat, just by hearing you say any sort of words, it’s not like you’re from Philly, like I am. Appreciate you being on. And why don’t you give us some context? What do you do for a living? And one thing that most people don’t know about you.

00:01:21:21 – 00:01:52:25

Jeevan Matharu

I mean, as with anyone these days, is if you know, when you’re trying to become a valuable person, you have a few things on the go, as you probably know, and what you do outside of the podcast. But you’ve probably got a few things that you’re you’re sort of doing. So historically I’ve worked in wealth management. So being a financial advisor and retirement planning essentially for the elderly, shall we call it, looking to accumulate some of the assets they’ve built up over time.

00:01:54:14 – 00:02:30:09

Jeevan Matharu

I came to the conclusion quite a number of years back that I had other things to offer. So I actually wrote a book called Become a Person of Value, which I’m sure will come to talk about some point. But predominantly that book is split into 25 to 30 chapters that splits out areas that help people grow into, as you’ve said, mastery so that maybe how to set goals correctly, how to understand your own psychology, how to continue to motivate yourself, self-improvement on a on a more general basis, looking at personality types, etc..

00:02:30:09 – 00:03:07:26

Jeevan Matharu

So you can see that all of those chapters are aligned to self-improvement overall, but split down into sort these more niche areas that really come together to help you create your own value. So, you know, a lot of the time, as you know yourself, many, many people tend to seek money. So, you know, looking for that quick move, that quick book, that self and that get rich, quick scheme, etc., that doesn’t exist and, and they don’t want to actually become someone who’s valuable, provide value, which then will provide remuneration later on.

00:03:08:01 – 00:03:25:21

Jeevan Matharu

It might not be instant gratification. You know, that’s fine. But it’s something that is a long term process and in a must be is not a two week job is something that you have to dedicate time to over the long term. So that’s the sort of first, but we’ve all come on to the second book as well in terms of coaching.

00:03:25:21 – 00:03:49:19

Jeevan Matharu

So that’s really off the back of the book and me wanting to offer more of a personal service to those who want to look at the more specifics of their situation. You know, the book is a more generic and general and go to manual essentially that maybe doesn’t have that personal connection that someone wants to talk about their situation and have someone sort of bounce off ideas with them.

00:03:49:19 – 00:04:09:00

Jeevan Matharu

So that’s where the coaching comes in, and that’s called vanquished transformational coaching, and that’s something I’m very passionate about, helping people to become the best person they can be because at the end of the day, you know, if you want to improve the world, you need to improve. You improve yourself. First of all, you know, if you improve yourself, let’s say you saw a business that’s turning over.

00:04:09:02 – 00:04:31:04

Jeevan Matharu

Let’s just keep them a simple £500,000 a year. You’re taking £100,000 of that. You might be able to employ ten or 15 of your friends, you know, paying ten, 20 or £30,000 a year. So you’re putting their lives. They can put forward the food on the table for their kids, their kids who then have high self-esteem, maybe be able to get into better relationships.

00:04:31:10 – 00:04:54:13

Jeevan Matharu

So it has a knock on effect and, you know, you want to make an impact. Well, on our show, I sure do. An impact that is going to affect a lot of people on a positive based approach rather than on a negative based approach. So that’s really where the coaching comes in. And finally, from the sort of professional side and the second book is coming out is a much more interactive book than the first.

00:04:54:25 – 00:05:13:27

Jeevan Matharu

So if you see here’s an example, Nick, it might be that if you’ve got a copy of the book and the 366 questions of a question today that you need to answer. So the first question may be, well, why do you need to be in five years time? You would then have a obviously a page to write down your answer.

00:05:14:12 – 00:05:35:28

Jeevan Matharu

Then there’ll be some guidance about, you know, have you thought about this? We thought about this and obviously some input from myself. And then there’s obviously some further pages too, to maybe to find your answer slightly and develop an action plan saying, okay, well, if I want to be here in five years time, what daily habits and daily routines do I need to do today, tomorrow or next week, next year thereafter in order to get there?

00:05:36:08 – 00:05:44:28

Jeevan Matharu

So that’s really my background. And from from assistant to professional standpoint, know if you want to know about hobby stuff as well. But you know, I’m not sure exactly.

00:05:45:27 – 00:06:01:14

Nick McGowan

I mean, I always appreciate when people share whatever it is that makes them up. So that’s part of the reason why I asked the question of what do you do for a living? And what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you? Because typically the people you work with don’t know the thing. That’s kind of one of the most interesting things about you.

00:06:01:14 – 00:06:03:14

Nick McGowan

So what’s that thing that most people don’t know about you?

00:06:03:27 – 00:06:09:09

Jeevan Matharu

So most people probably don’t know that I’m a member of Mensa. If you’re familiar with the organization.

00:06:09:13 – 00:06:10:00

Nick McGowan

Though, it’s up.

00:06:10:12 – 00:06:37:06

Jeevan Matharu

And so Mensa is an organization designed for people with high IQ. So in the top 2% of IQ. So you have to take an IQ test if you’re in the top 2% either on the well, there’s two tests. Basically, there’s a non-verbal. And the more verbal based test, if you get in on any of those, you are then allowed to enter essentially.

00:06:37:18 – 00:07:02:21

Jeevan Matharu

And it’s not one of those where, you know, everyone’s a geek or everyone’s strange. And I just because you’re intelligent doesn’t mean that you haven’t got other things or interesting things about you. So that’s something that people don’t know. And I’m a bit anal in some respects in terms if I don’t know something that’s either off the end of this call, that’s something else that I am not aware of or something that I know little about.

00:07:02:29 – 00:07:20:10

Jeevan Matharu

I’ll probably go away at some point today or tomorrow and have a little read up about it, just to keep myself abreast of anything that I feel that I’ve missed out on. Because at the end of day, look, kids are very good at this. They’re very curious. I don’t know if you’ve got kids or around kids at any stage, but they ask some strange questions.

00:07:20:10 – 00:07:44:08

Jeevan Matharu

What’s this? Who’s that? And it’s just to try and on their environment. And I don’t think I’ve really ever lost that. And I think that just stuck me in good stead, really, because look, at the end of day, questions are everything, you know, let’s take your podcast as an example. Nic. You know, if if we’re in a coaching session and you would say, look, I want to increase the revenue for my podcast, although that’s a good question.

00:07:44:08 – 00:08:05:07

Jeevan Matharu

It would be more around the other questions. How can you get better guests on your podcast? You how can you reach more people? What sort of demographic are you after? What sort of content do you want to put forward? Are there any collaborations that you can look to incorporate? So they’re the real questions, not the general question everyone asks.

00:08:05:07 – 00:08:14:21

Jeevan Matharu

So how can I increase revenue that’s broken down? And that’s, as I said, what kids are very, very good at and asking those direct questions.

00:08:14:21 – 00:08:45:16

Nick McGowan

That’s a great point. No, I don’t have any children, but I was a kid at one point and I remember asking so many questions that I would piss my mom off. She’d be like, Why? Because I’m going to kill you. That’s why I’m like, I’m just asking, you know, like, help me understand this thing. And I realized that over the course of time there were a lot of people, I think it was right around maybe middle school where people were like, I’m not going to ask questions because now I’m starting to see that maybe I don’t know all the things and you’re going to make me feel stupid when I ask a question and then

00:08:45:16 – 00:09:11:05

Nick McGowan

people start to veer off. I love that you still continue to ask questions. I think that’s an important thing that a lot of people don’t really think about because honestly, they’ve gotten so far into life that they don’t think about that shit normally where they just don’t think about the process of thinking about things. They just kind of move along and the next thing you know, it’s months or years later and they’re like, I have no idea how I’ve been in this job for 20 years.

00:09:11:14 – 00:09:24:22

Nick McGowan

I’ve no idea how we’ve stuck in this relationship or what have you. And do you think that ties in with you being in that upper two percentile, or do you think that’s just something that was part of your environment?

00:09:25:16 – 00:09:57:22

Jeevan Matharu

I’m I mean, it’s a difficult one in terms of the opposite 2% percentile. As you said, there’s really two sides to intelligence as far as I’m concerned. One is, as you said, the questions and the curiosity to actually delve deeper into things that gives you that that sort of back level filing cabinet worth of knowledge. You know, you’ve read a hundred books that say 20% of that knowledge is stored on a concrete basis and then 50% is tonnage, tangible, yet intangible in some respects, and then 30, 40% you don’t remember at all.

00:09:58:15 – 00:10:19:06

Jeevan Matharu

So that is a really good knowledge base to reflect. There are ideas off the other type of intelligence that forms part of that same merry is your processing speed. So for everyone who’s got a laptop out there now, you’ve got your like two or three or four or five off seven on a ten processes. That sort of IQ is a processing speed.

00:10:20:05 – 00:10:40:12

Jeevan Matharu

So it doesn’t mean that there’s no direct correlation between success and intelligence. There’s just not a lot of the time. It’s your work ethic, your your mentality, your mindset, your goal setting the IQ is just a nice to have that can maybe help. And so it doesn’t mean to say that, you know, someone with a high tech use any better than anyone else.

00:10:41:10 – 00:11:03:04

Jeevan Matharu

But definitely the questioning does help. And I just want to touch as well on the point that you mentioned about the kids and the curiosity of kids. Sometimes we can learn from kids so greatly that it’s very understated. The kids are so honest. You’ve probably seen where mums are wearing the outfit and they ask the kids, How do you look?

00:11:03:04 – 00:11:04:24

Jeevan Matharu

Oh, you look fat. I don’t like it.

00:11:05:00 – 00:11:05:13

Nick McGowan

Yeah.

00:11:06:12 – 00:11:25:22

Jeevan Matharu

So what is because they have this negative programing, they, they don’t ask questions with the feeling of I’m a lucky lady here, they ask in the questions on the basis they just really want to know the answer. And if we could take a leaf out of so many kids books, it’s frightening. You know, they have such a positive attitude towards off.

00:11:25:22 – 00:11:52:23

Jeevan Matharu

They’re very inquisitive, they’re very honest. And if they want to do something, they will do it. They have massive aspirations. I want to be an astronaut. I want to be president. We have been negatively programed, whether it’s from school, whether it’s from the news, whether it’s from friends, family and not. Those limiting beliefs can have a real negative effect on where you could be in three, five years time.

00:11:52:23 – 00:12:14:13

Jeevan Matharu

You know, if you didn’t feel that you could be, let’s say, a professional boxer, just I don’t know why that just came to mind. You would never be a professional boxer. I use the example of an architect, you know, the house that you’re in. And now, Nick, it was first designed in the mind of an architect. It was drawn down on paper, you know, the blueprint.

00:12:15:09 – 00:12:36:12

Jeevan Matharu

It was then sent to the builder. He built it. It was decorated. And here you are with your photos and your bookshelf in the back. Life is no different. You know, you have to design in your mind the outcome that you’re after. You know, let’s take my book, for example. I designed in my mind first thinking, okay, what do I want from a book?

00:12:36:17 – 00:13:03:12

Jeevan Matharu

Great. Will make the plan of action and then we’ll start to write the book. And yes, along the way a book is a little bit different in the house. A house has to be much more finite, but as it’s getting built, I can amend and adapt things accordingly. So, you know, for all the listeners out there that maybe want to improve their life, build something in your mind first, you know, visualize a business, visualize the, you know, the ideal partner, visualize, you know, the friendship circle you want to be in.

00:13:03:12 – 00:13:15:23

Jeevan Matharu

Visualize the role that you want, unless you can do this is going to be very difficult for something just to land on your lap without any sort of form of specificity about what you’re after. That makes sense to me.

00:13:16:06 – 00:13:48:23

Nick McGowan

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, totally. I think of that kind of dichotomy between clarity and just taking action and just moving along on things, because there are a lot of people that will think through so many things and then they get stuck in paralysis by analysis and they just keep thinking through and thinking through. And then there are other people that are just almost too simple where they’re like, Well, fuck it, had the idea, move it along, and they just move along on things, but they figure a lot of stuff out.

00:13:48:25 – 00:14:07:23

Nick McGowan

Now I try to actually be a balance between those where I think through things a bit and I know that I can get lost in those thoughts, but at the same time, I know that I can be a bull in a china shop. So there’s a little bit of a gray area to say, how do you mix the both of them together where you can think through it, you can think enough about it and go, All right, I got it, I’m good.

00:14:07:23 – 00:14:19:04

Nick McGowan

And then just keep walking or start walking. So how do you work with your clients to be able to get them to think through enough of it that doesn’t hold them back to then actually start taking those steps?

00:14:20:10 – 00:14:42:20

Jeevan Matharu

It is does two phrases that come to mind based on what you said? I think the first one is that the climbing the mountain starts with a single set. So as you said, you know, you need to break down these overwhelming tasks into just take the first step, just take the second step. If you’re driving home late at night and you’re driving 300 miles away, you don’t see the destination, too.

00:14:42:22 – 00:15:06:21

Jeevan Matharu

To continue to drive. All you need to see the next 200 meters with the headline. Yeah. And you have to face it, you know you’re going to get there. It’s very much a case of, as you said, do you want to go under the paralysis by analysis route or do you want to act too hastily? It’s too erratically, shall we say, in respect of not knowing when you’re going.

00:15:07:09 – 00:15:27:03

Jeevan Matharu

So there’s got to be that sort of fine line. Yeah. And another phrase that incorporates both of those sides is that this where there’s the obstacle, that’s actually the way to go. What this overthinking does is if people see another school, they’re trying to think their way out of it, Oh, how can I get away from this obstacle?

00:15:27:11 – 00:15:59:09

Jeevan Matharu

How could I make things easier? Actually, this is an obstacle there. The challenge is trying to get over that obstacle, using either the skills that you’ve already got or when you get to the obstacle, you will develop new skills at the point that you were at the obstacle. So, you know, many people don’t like failing. It is imperative in any walk of life, you know, if you’re a kid, you know, you try and some of call and you go again, you try more, you can’t and you go again.

00:15:59:09 – 00:16:25:22

Jeevan Matharu

So again, taking a leaf out of the kids book, you know, we don’t we try to veer away from danger. We stay in a comfort zone. We don’t look at things that are going to push us forward. We don’t have big dreams. We try and play it safe so well. I tend to talk to us about and look, if you make as a coach, you know, it’s not up to me to give you the answer.

00:16:25:22 – 00:16:46:24

Jeevan Matharu

It is for us to discuss and you to come up with your own answers to an extent with with some sort of guidance or question. And a lot of the time it’s just a mindset shift. That’s all it is. It’s to look at things in a slightly different way. It is not what happens to you, it’s what you make of it that counts.

00:16:47:12 – 00:17:06:18

Jeevan Matharu

Are you looking at things on a negative basis or a positive basis? So and we find that unique look, don’t think of elephants. You automatically think of elephants whether you want to or not. And what people tend to do is they will talk about their life. They don’t want to they will say, I don’t want to be single.

00:17:07:14 – 00:17:28:04

Jeevan Matharu

I don’t want to be felt. I don’t want to be poor. Your subconscious doesn’t hear that. Don’t it just tries to act on behalf of what you’ve said. So instead of saying, you know, I don’t want to be single, why not say I want to be in a relationship? Instead, they mean the same thing, but they also don’t mean the same thing.

00:17:28:04 – 00:17:52:15

Jeevan Matharu

If you’ve got a football team and you say, you know, don’t lose the game versus win the game, the behavior of players will be very, very different. It will be a much more cautious approach versus a more aggressive approach. So you say, yeah, I mean, it’s such a long question to answer. Yeah. How do you help clients to to look at whether or not they’re overthinking or just taking action?

00:17:52:25 – 00:18:32:09

Jeevan Matharu

It’s such a comprehensive toolset or conversation. We need to go through that. It’s very bespoke for everyone. It’s where they’re at. What face do they have? Do they have fears of failure? Do they have imposter syndrome, which is a very common one? Do they have fear of success, which again, many people do and they actually self-sabotage? So yeah, so I mean, clearly spewing out a lot of information there, but it’s just the, you know, it all interlinked in a way that obviously when you get experience in this area, you see all of the this sort of coherence between them, but also they are very separate.

00:18:32:09 – 00:18:38:13

Jeevan Matharu

So it’s trying to manage that, too, to ensure that, you know, the clients are moving forward in the best way possible.

00:18:38:18 – 00:18:59:25

Nick McGowan

Oh, yeah. You start to see patterns, you’ll start to see that you’re similar to this other guy or this other person I talk to or what have you. But everybody is different. I also like to ask those big loaded questions. I mean, we are here on a podcast, so I appreciate it. When somebody jumps in with such an answer, I would almost be pretty shocked if I talk to a coach and they’re like, It’s easy.

00:18:59:25 – 00:19:18:14

Nick McGowan

We knock it out in 15 seconds. I’m like, Well, that’s craziness. How do you figure that out in 15 seconds you would, you know, so I can appreciate being able to go through and find that stuff out. And if we actually spin out 100 feet view from this and look at this, what we’re really talking about is the overall awareness and asking the right questions.

00:19:19:03 – 00:19:39:02

Nick McGowan

And sometimes we as individuals can ask ourselves what can feel like the right questions, but we can talk ourselves in or out of different scenarios. So sometimes it’s just talking to somebody, even if it’s not a coach, it’s somebody that’s trusted that’s not going to feed you back bullshit. Then just go, oh no, no, you’re alright, you’re okay.

00:19:39:02 – 00:19:58:14

Nick McGowan

Like you’re totally fine. And I, I want to encourage people. If you don’t have a coach, go get a coach. But if you’re not going to go get a coach, at least find people that you can talk to and you can have those real questions with. And you nailed it, man. Being able to actually ask the questions will help the person get to the answer.

00:19:58:28 – 00:20:16:28

Nick McGowan

Coaches don’t just give out answers. We’re not genies, but we know how to ask the right questions to be able to get you moving and have a body of work to be able to say based on these other things I’ve seen, this is how you go about it. So I know as a coach that you have to go through experiences to be able to talk about stuff.

00:20:17:11 – 00:20:36:00

Nick McGowan

And it sounds like you’ve got a lot of experiences, but we haven’t really tapped back into how you grew up and really anything that has made you who you are now. So are there any major episodes or situations that come to mind? You look at and you go, Man, that was a moment in time that changed me.

00:20:36:09 – 00:20:53:14

Jeevan Matharu

Well, I think the two that really come to mind. So I’ll catch you could have given us an answer earlier that, you know, to one of the questions that you ask that was, well, what’s one thing that people don’t know about you? I was actually expelled from from school.

00:20:54:03 – 00:20:55:04

Nick McGowan

So when.

00:20:55:06 – 00:21:27:23

Jeevan Matharu

Private school, I was almost as I said, it was in the top 50% of IQ. I was doing exams early and stuff and I don’t know whether it was I was not stimulated enough or whether it was not just my personality at that point. Very immature. And but I got thrown out of school. Maybe that’s the reason that I am a coach now, a very dedicated to the self-improvement, maybe because at that point I didn’t have that sort of direction and wished I had someone such as myself to actually talk to myself, if that makes sense.

00:21:27:27 – 00:21:48:20

Jeevan Matharu

Yeah, I come to regret that sometimes. Something that you needed earlier on in life, you end up becoming later on. So, you know, if let’s say I’ve seen this before where someone’s dad is not been that wealthy and they call was always breaking down. So the kid ended up becoming a mechanic because of obviously what they experienced in childhood.

00:21:48:20 – 00:22:14:20

Jeevan Matharu

So sometimes things happen for a reason and maybe that was, you know, that was the reason that happened. The second sort of mindset shift for me was when I was working, employed as a financial adviser. I mean, I still work as a financial advisor, as I said, as well, but that’s on a self-employed myself basis. But when I was employed, I used to have to travel around all over the country.

00:22:15:17 – 00:22:51:20

Jeevan Matharu

So obviously you’re not from the UK, but if we were to say I was driving for 6 hours a day and I was in meetings for maybe 4 hours as well, so maybe a ten hour day. Six of those were in the car the first few months in the job. I was listening to music as you do and just the normal bullshit, you know, for want of a better phrase, after a while I thought, well, if I was to calculate how many hours I’m wasting having to car 6 hours a day, six days a week, let’s call it 50, 50 weeks a year, two weeks of vacation, of course.

00:22:53:01 – 00:23:11:12

Jeevan Matharu

How much time is that? And let’s say that I use maybe just three of those hours because of the 6 hours of of learning is is is, you know, you can get you get to the point of diminishing returns anywhere after two months. Yeah. You know, you can’t solve anything more. And you know, as I said, I’ve got meetings within that time as well.

00:23:12:03 – 00:23:34:28

Jeevan Matharu

So it was a case of, well, how can I use this time? They’ll stumbled across Brian Treacy. She came round you know you Tony been exams etc.. And then obviously as I said I’m you know very curious are you there of Nightingale this person this person audio books etc. etc. and it really changed my mind and my focus.

00:23:36:07 – 00:24:00:27

Jeevan Matharu

And I realized that instead of chasing money, as we talked about earlier, it’s about becoming someone valuable. I mean, Amazon, I like to use the example of Amazon. People say, well, I want a business worth billions of pounds. The real question is, can you get me think of a product or a desk lamp? Can you get me a desk lamp, a reasonable price to my house within 24 hours?

00:24:00:27 – 00:24:06:06

Jeevan Matharu

No, no. So you haven’t got a value. You know there’s no value there.

00:24:06:13 – 00:24:06:21

Nick McGowan

Yeah.

00:24:07:15 – 00:24:26:07

Jeevan Matharu

So, you know, you have to be able to create a proposition that is worth that value. And I’m not saying Amazon has done that. Yeah, I mean, many of the businesses have done that as well. But if you look yourself at a business, what values can you bring? What what is your personality type? What are you naturally good are?

00:24:26:18 – 00:24:47:12

Jeevan Matharu

What compliments do people give you? You know, if you’re cooking for people all the time and that’s helping you, you know, that’s great chicken or great steak. Maybe you’ve got something that maybe, you know, you could be a chef and should move away from your office job. Maybe got interest in cooking as well. That’s a perfect marriage where you can now become a chef because you love it and you’re very good at it.

00:24:47:23 – 00:25:03:27

Jeevan Matharu

You might be your future success. And but people tend to forget they used to and they will look at, you know, go on read or total jobs or I don’t know. But if there’s any different ones out in the States. But they’ll go on. They’ll search my salary. I mean, I used to be like this all the time.

00:25:04:07 – 00:25:11:17

Jeevan Matharu

You said by salary you were like, This is what I’m after, and you’ll try and fit square peg into round holes and say, Well, yeah, I can maybe do.

00:25:11:22 – 00:25:12:29

Nick McGowan

Maybe could I?

00:25:13:21 – 00:25:35:03

Jeevan Matharu

Yeah. You know, as you change your CV to sort of fit in all that sort of stuff, but actually that’s not a great long term plan because what will happen is 20 years on the road, you’ll be in a job you hate, soul destroying job, and along the way you’ve picked up a lot of financial obligations that it’s hard to turn away from mortgage payments, car payments, food.

00:25:35:12 – 00:26:07:21

Jeevan Matharu

Maybe you’ve got kids and they’ve got education costs. So it’s very difficult for you then to come away from that career and income. So you’ve got to run two full time jobs rather than one. And obviously that can lead to, you know, overwhelm and and, you know, that can have a real negative impact on your mental health. So, yeah, I’m I know everyone, you know, you said not being a coach, you actually you speak to people with such different problems that yes, you can categorize them into some respect.

00:26:07:21 – 00:26:28:23

Jeevan Matharu

But also every situation is very, very bespoke to an individual. And that’s, you know, the whole point really in having, you know, a coach or if you said someone who you want to speak to. And what I’ve tended to find is two key questions. When I’ve actually said, look, you could probably speak to your friendly mummy dad about a lot of this stuff.

00:26:29:12 – 00:26:51:21

Jeevan Matharu

And there’s two main reasons people don’t want to do that. One is obviously confidentiality and being judged by the other person, which I totally get someone who’s not in your close circle, but you want to talk things through with because of the you know, if you’ve got something very deep and confidential, you don’t necessarily want it to be with people who are close to you.

00:26:52:11 – 00:27:11:20

Jeevan Matharu

And the second is they may be dangerous, the person you know, which I totally get. But if you’re one of the lucky few who has someone on duty, use that resource and you know you can bounce ideas off each other. There’s something called the mastermind principle isn’t everything can grow rich where two minds create a third indivisible want.

00:27:12:01 – 00:27:24:29

Jeevan Matharu

And you know, you I mean, you want a softening when you’re with Mr. Jones or Mrs. Smith. The connection is very different in your ideas with that person are very different. It may be just needs find someone different to speak with.

00:27:25:18 – 00:27:42:24

Nick McGowan

Oh yeah, absolutely. You’ve got to be mindful of who it is that you talk to about certain things. I know there are certain people that say I don’t want to burden people, but that is also a real thing. If somebody is super close to you like you’re your spouse or your partner or even your best friend, shouldn’t be the one that takes all of those.

00:27:42:24 – 00:28:05:03

Nick McGowan

So can be easy to get a therapist or coach or somebody that just outside that has the ability to ask the right questions. So I’d say it’s easier to find a coach that can do that because that’s part of our jam. That’s what we do. It’s to ask the right questions. And some people can also find therapist. It can take you while to find the right one, but being able to ask the right questions is super helpful.

00:28:05:08 – 00:28:15:13

Nick McGowan

And do you have any resources or thoughts or advice for somebody that can start asking some of the right questions, even for themselves to be able to help themselves at least a little bit right now?

00:28:15:15 – 00:28:36:13

Jeevan Matharu

Again, we talked about things being very, very bespoke. So if we were to say you’ve got let’s talk about two end of the scale, there’s problems. And then the things that you want to improve on, say, problems could be the you know, you’re going through a bad breakup or you’ve been you’ve been sacked from work or you’ve been made redundant.

00:28:36:15 – 00:28:55:15

Jeevan Matharu

So that is sort of negative based and problems that people go through. The other side is, you know, as we talked about before, before is let’s say you were a salesman. Yeah. And you’re 10th in the ranking list of a hundred salesman in the business and you want to move to number one. How do you walk that level?

00:28:55:25 – 00:29:19:25

Jeevan Matharu

So what is improvement and what is trying to and get over or improve a negative situation? We start with the negative. First, the question you should be asking is, well, what positives can come from this? So let’s say you can maybe London will give us a job. Did you even want the job in the first place? What are you upset about?

00:29:20:01 – 00:29:40:14

Jeevan Matharu

Are you upset about the fact that you’re not bringing in income or that you actually love the job and you’re missing that? So first of all, which one of those is true? Another question. Well, now that you freed up some time, what could I do moving forward with my passion? What other opportunities could I be taking on board?

00:29:41:07 – 00:30:07:01

Jeevan Matharu

Who in my network circle could I lean upon or use to not not use an obviously negative way, but as in, you know, collaborate with to share something you know what business have I’ve been wanting to start the I can start could I travel the world so these are all questions that come off the back of I was made redundant around the same the other end of the scale is the improvement side.

00:30:07:09 – 00:30:29:21

Jeevan Matharu

So again, you know from moving from number ten, let’s say best salesman in the business to number one questions could be, well, what’s the number one guy doing? What I’m not doing is he does he speak better than you? Is he better looking than you? Is has he been at the business for longer? Does he work longer hours?

00:30:31:14 – 00:30:53:08

Jeevan Matharu

Does he have preferential treatment from those within the business? And then the second question is off there as well. So let’s say that he does get preferential treatment from those within the business. Great. You how could you get now preferential treatment is the guy that makes the decisions a friend or foe? If he’s a foe, how can you make him a friend?

00:30:53:08 – 00:31:21:04

Jeevan Matharu

What can you not offer him? But what scratches his back in everyone’s thumbscrews? I think it was for a lot of power guide Robert Green. The Robert Green says that every man has his screen, which means that weakness or something that they are too in that really ticks with them, if that makes sense. So if someone’s into horse racing, you say, Oh, I’ve got this particular thing, you’ve got to go in, and that’s the guy that’s going to help you.

00:31:21:04 – 00:31:44:23

Jeevan Matharu

You know, maybe that might start a relationship. So, I mean, there’s infinite questions, infinite. There’s no this question is really going to help. It’s a case of you sitting down and saying, okay, pen to paper works great. This is my problem or this is what I want to improve on questions, subsequent questions, subsequent questions, action points. That’s the only way it can work.

00:31:45:16 – 00:32:11:22

Jeevan Matharu

And, you know, if you aren’t finding the right questions, get rid of all distractions, meditate maybe before you go to bed and then write down the questions. Meditation. I tend to use this metaphor, so I know in the States you have a postbox outside the front of your house that you want to drive. It’s like a paste box on the road where you put your letters into it.

00:32:11:24 – 00:32:34:24

Jeevan Matharu

But if you don’t clear that postbox out, it’s filled full of letters and there’s too much information in there. Meditation is much like clearing out my letterbox. So you’ve got a clear mind, a clear letterbox that allows new information and new letters to come in. So once you’ve cleared your mind, you’ll be surprised if there is a come to mind, if you are going to, I think bother.

00:32:34:24 – 00:32:46:11

Jeevan Matharu

Oh, pad of paper marks. Really. So there is a lot to throw around the word hero or legend very often because they are vastly over. He was.

00:32:46:11 – 00:32:50:10

Nick McGowan

Close. I mean, he was pretty much a a hero back in the day.

00:32:50:17 – 00:33:03:10

Jeevan Matharu

Well, this is it. Yeah. So so he’s obviously a philosopher and a stoic. I don’t know if you’ve read his to do meditations that sort of stuff in there is just ridiculous. He’s so eloquent with.

00:33:03:22 – 00:33:04:02

Nick McGowan

Gosh.

00:33:04:08 – 00:33:26:07

Jeevan Matharu

Understanding of the psyche and how things work, but to to of the cover, the point I was I was going to mention with regards to Marcus was he used to say, well, at night time you need to look at what did you learn today? What could you improved on. Maybe write down in the journal. Yeah. When you actually sleep, your mind is processing all this information.

00:33:26:07 – 00:33:46:02

Jeevan Matharu

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had this experience where I’ve woke up in the morning and the idea is this is what I need to do. Okay, that’s the right answer. So if you can say you want before you go to sleep and give your mind a chance to work at its optimum level, you’ll be surprised how fast it has come to you and look.

00:33:47:05 – 00:34:10:10

Jeevan Matharu

Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned, but there’s always good things that can come from that always is always a positive thing. Jim Ryan’s put this the best. Let’s say that you’re sitting in the most beautiful location, looking out the window in this other this sand in the sea or mountains or whatever it may be. Don’t be the guy who complains about the specs on the window.

00:34:11:11 – 00:34:34:03

Jeevan Matharu

Out of all the positives. Looking at one nugget negative situation again, if you’ve got loads of negative situations or problems with your life, look at the one positive you’ve broken on. Fine, move on. What did you like about the relationship and what was missing that you can maybe find in your next one? Look and focus on that positive effect.

00:34:34:03 – 00:34:58:09

Jeevan Matharu

On negative. Negative things come you focus on positive the positive things come. So as a man, think of James, I love you all. What you think about all day long. Do you see yourself as a champion? You will become more and all. Let’s say you don’t become one. At least you will do the actions and the routines that will give you the strongest likelihood of becoming one at some point.

00:34:58:26 – 00:35:11:13

Nick McGowan

And I appreciate you being on the show. I appreciate you getting into as much details you’ve gotten into. We’re about time to wrap up, but I want to ask, is there one piece of advice you’d give somebody that’s on their path towards self-mastery?

00:35:12:00 – 00:35:31:05

Jeevan Matharu

I just think you’ve got to have the right dedication and you’ve got to want to do it for yourself, not for anyone else. If we look at a tree as an example, trees tend to grow to the the highest and strongest they can be. So when when the seed is planted, it will grow as tall as it can go.

00:35:31:23 – 00:35:58:05

Jeevan Matharu

Humans don’t tend to do that. They will say they’ll drink, they’ll eat and fried chicken and d’endémie and all that, all the rest of it. Why not become more like a tree? Would it not be great to see what you could accomplish if you were to feel your potential? If you could feel your potential, you could provide more for your kids, your spouse.

00:35:58:17 – 00:36:19:26

Jeevan Matharu

You need to look after your parents. You could travel to all these locations that you wanted to your bucket list could be ticked off. You had so much that could happen from fulfilling your potential. And the only way to do that is to understand what your potential is, to be dedicated, disciplined, and have a plan of action and if obviously need assistance direction.

00:36:20:02 – 00:36:41:05

Jeevan Matharu

That’s where your friend from your coach comes in to help you navigate through that. And first things first is you need to have that aspiration first and foremost, as we talked about with the architect to to design and build a house, you need to have the you need to have in your mind the person that you want to become and invest engineer it that way.

00:36:41:16 – 00:37:07:26

Jeevan Matharu

Can if I want to become a professional soccer soccer player, as you guys call it, is main point. If me playing lacrosse every day is because those actions and those dreams have no correlation. So a lot of the time people are doing that. They want to be an astronaut and they’re working in an admin job. I mean, the chance of you becoming national from work in an admin job is the reciprocal of infinity.

00:37:07:27 – 00:37:20:12

Jeevan Matharu

It’s never going to happen. So you’ve got to give yourself the strongest likelihood of what you’re after occurring. It might even occur, but you’ve got the percentages.

00:37:20:12 – 00:37:25:20

Nick McGowan

That’s good. Stefan, again, I appreciate you being on. Where can people find and connect with you.

00:37:26:15 – 00:37:47:22

Jeevan Matharu

In terms of the coaching side, the vanquished, transformational coaching and which you can find on Google? The link will be in the bio books wise. The common person of value is on Amazon worldwide, so you can get a hardcopy or e-book there and the new book will be out towards the end of the year and talk to keep an eye out for that guys.

00:37:48:09 – 00:37:51:00

Jeevan Matharu

But yeah, that’s the best way to to keep in touch.

00:37:51:08 – 00:37:54:25

Nick McGowan

Awesome. Well, again, Jeevan, thank you for being on the show. Appreciate your time.

00:37:55:06 – 00:38:06:26

Jeevan Matharu

Thanks very much, Nick. Thanks for having me. And it’s been a fantastic conversation.

00:38:06:26 – 00:38:32:20

Nick McGowan

Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery show. Now what keeps going around my head is to be like a child. That innocence and inquisitive nature that most of us grumpy fucking adults just seem to be jaded away from over the course of time. And I think it starts somewhere in about middle school where you start to step away from that and then in your twenties you get even further away.

00:38:32:29 – 00:38:51:23

Nick McGowan

But Given’s an inspiration to keep asking questions and keep exploring our lives, and through that will become a person of value. So what did you think about today’s episode? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topics we got into today, and if you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes, subscribe rate and leave a five star review.

00:38:52:00 – 00:39:14:06

Nick McGowan

It helps us be found and it helps others be healed. And if you really enjoyed the show today, go ahead and share it with some of your friends, people that come to mind. We covered some really awesome topics and got into depth with this and check out the show notes for more information, contact info for Jeevan and check out other episodes on the Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel.

00:39:14:10 – 00:39:33:21

Nick McGowan

Just go to YouTube and type in the mindset and self-mastery show and boom. There you go. And thanks again Jeevan for being real, for being honest and for being vulnerable with us and sharing some of your wisdom. And I’d like to thank our sponsors, the Manly Club and the Powerhouse men, brotherhood men. Do you consider yourself to be a powerhouse man?

00:39:34:05 – 00:39:57:05

Nick McGowan

The criteria for becoming one is simple. You live with virtue and do good work. You see, a powerhouse man built his life. He doesn’t settle for it. He attacks mediocrity at the root. And that’s exactly what we do in the powerhouse men brotherhood. So visit the Manly Club dot com for more details. And lastly, thank you and most important people here.

00:39:57:14 – 00:40:07:01

Nick McGowan

Thank you for being with us, hanging out and being part of these conversations. And with that Remember your mindset matters and so do you.