Nick McGowan (00:01.038)

Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan, and today on the show I have Jeff Sera. Jeff, what’s up man, how you doing?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (00:12.03)

Pretty good, man. It’s a pleasure to be here. I’m excited for this.

Nick McGowan (00:15.418)

Same, there are certain people I have a little bit of a conversation with before we start. And it’s like, crap, we can just have conversation. We can talk about things, you kind of hit it off. Even if you’re not really having deep conversation where I’m like, this is gonna be a good fucking episode. Not to say that the people that I don’t have that with, the episodes are bad, like you should listen to all the episodes. But there are certain people I’m like, this is gonna be great. And then being able to say, because I said everybody, I’m like, hey, you can curse if you want, you don’t fucking have to, but you can if you want.

And some people even like with that, they won’t laugh. They’ll be like, oh, okay. Like maybe cursing is just not part of their expression. It’s fucking part of mine. But when I said it to you, you were like, awesome. I can talk the way that I wanna fucking talk, yeah. So this podcast is not suitable for most children unless you’re raising a family like mine. But man, why don’t you start us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (00:56.07)

I was cheering like, yes.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (01:14.154)

start off with, yeah, if there are children listening, then you definitely wanna cut this off now before we get into it. Ha ha ha.

Nick McGowan (01:18.474)

Either that or your parents are great.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (01:22.59)

Yeah, so I’m a self-development sensei and a reiki practitioner. And I think one thing that most people don’t know about me is I have had a spiritual enlightenment experience that has unlocked a variety of different things for me. One of them being I have a heightened sense of empathy. And what I mean by that is I could be standing in a room with somebody or a group of people and I can get a… I’ll pick up and be like…

I feel heavy anxiety or I feel heavy imposter syndrome or social anxiety, whatever the thing is or fear or anger or frustration and I’m like, okay, that’s not mine. And I’ll look around and I’ll be like, oh, it’s that person. And so, you know, when I started to learn and discover that, that’s not something I really talked about because it was like, how the fuck do I tell the person, like a close friend of mine that like, hey dude, like I could feel your jealousy, I could feel your animosity, I could feel, you know.

Nick McGowan (02:12.918)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (02:17.322)

the hater in you coming out even though you’ve never said or done anything wrong to me. Like energetically I feel that shit. And so it’s not something I was really openly talking about for a period of time and I’ve learned to really kind of use and hone that towards what I do now. Especially when I’m doing Reiki there’s an exchange of you know I’m sending energy to them but what I’ve learned to do now is I’ll ask for permission to be like hey you know sometimes when I’m doing this I get energetic hits or I’ll get intuitive hits around what’s coming up for you.

Do I have your permission to share that with you or do you want me to just keep that to myself? I’ve had people answer with both ways and so I just honor whatever their request is. But that is something that right now is not widely known about me.

Nick McGowan (02:56.686)

wow, but what a thing, and especially here for this show. This is totally accepted on this type of show, and especially with the work that we do as part of the company with Chooser Calling and how we help people. And I think that’s a big thing that, I’ve met different people that are really empathetic. And some people are just like we were saying about Enneagram before we hit record.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (03:00.114)

Yeah.

Nick McGowan (03:18.53)

I’m a four, so I feel a lot of things, but I’m not as deeply empathetic where I can sponge in the feelings as there are certain people. I feel like that’s a gift and a talent that people have. But then I think there are also times where some people are really unaware that they have that and they confuse it for themselves, where they’re like, I’m just anxious, or I feel angry and I don’t know why. And it’s like, well, it’s not you. So what a beautiful way to be self-aware.

for you to go, well, this isn’t my shit. Like, I’m not feeling imposter syndrome right now. I’m looking around and going, that dude’s awkward, or whatever that is. So how did you? How did you figure that out? And tell me a bit about like the, the approach that you went through as you were like, is this me? Is it somebody else? Is this a real thing? Like, what did that look like?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (04:07.082)

Okay So with that specifically when it started to happen, I thought I was going to bash it crazy. I’m like What what is happening? Like why do I have all these emotions all these things and like even when I would go out in public It’s like a large space, right? so if there was like an event they do Christmas in the park in San Jose where I’m at and I remember one year I was there and I just kept getting like I was shiver It’s like why am I shivering like why are there these chills? It’s not like I was cold temperature wise. It was just this weird thing

Nick McGowan (04:15.084)

That makes sense.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (04:37.058)

And I remember that was like a memory of mine that I had around this thing that was happening and my acupuncturist Was also very spiritual so she was able to I was able to have these conversations with her and express to her what was going on and talk about some Of the stuff and she would actually make sense of it for me and explain it in a way that was like, oh, okay I’m not going crazy. I’m not losing my mind. This is like a heightened ability. That’s now been unlocked and I’m experiencing that So when I’m out in public

I’m feeling everything from everyone around me and then my body can’t handle it, so I’m just shaking. And so I had to learn to like, kind of create, you know, like a mental force field and not just let everything and anything in, but be mindful of, you know, what do I want to allow it? When do I want to use this? And when do I want to shut it off? And then part of learning about what was mine and what was someone else’s was, I had to spend a lot of time alone. I had to really isolate myself and get familiar with what was mine because…

Nick McGowan (05:13.09)

Yeah.

Nick McGowan (05:26.946)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (05:31.102)

For most of my life, I’ve spent it around other people. It was a coping mechanism for me actually, where when I was alone, I didn’t like that because I’d be in my thoughts, I’d be in my feelings, and it wasn’t enjoyable. Kind of going back a little further to the origin of things and how I really kind of got started on this path and this journey is when I was 15, I had a girlfriend that she got pregnant. And we, you know, we’re.

kids in high school were like, yeah, we’re not ready for this. So what do we do? And we decided to have an abortion. And going with her to that appointment at Planned Parenthood is like a core key memory for me. And this is, I probably should have started with, you know, this is a warning point, right? Again, anybody with people listening or this is like a trigger warning. I remember going to the appointment and she was death gripping my hand and

Nick McGowan (06:23.106)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (06:29.782)

screaming out in pain. And back then, and I don’t know if they still do it this way, but back then it was, you know, they had this glass jar and like a fucking vacuum and they suck out everything from her into this glass jar. So I’m just sitting there, she’s squeezing the shit out of my hand, screaming at the top of her lungs. And I’m just watching this thing fill up. And I’m like, okay. Like nothing in my life could prepare me for that. Nothing I was taught in school or through my parents was like, okay, how do I manage this now? Right? So afterwards it was just like,

Nick McGowan (06:57.847)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (07:00.05)

burned into my brain this experience of, yeah, that wasn’t fun. Nobody involved enjoyed it. I remember even, I don’t know what you call it, the doctor, the practitioner, whoever performed the thing, there wasn’t any warmth about it. It was very much like, yeah, you guys fucked up and now I gotta do this, so we’re all gonna feel terrible about it, right? There was no compassion or anything around it. It was just like this terrible experience. And so after that, I’m walking around my high school like,

Nick McGowan (07:20.063)

Jeez.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (07:28.562)

What the fuck, right? People over here complain about, oh, I passed my driver’s test and my parents got me this car or this and that. And I’m like, fuck your first world problems. I’ve got this thing burned into my brain. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how to deal with that emotionally. No one’s telling me, you know. I didn’t tell people, so there wasn’t like they offered therapy or anything as an option. It was just, I dealt with it my way, which was to avoid it. And so instead of being with it, I…

Nick McGowan (07:29.686)

Yeah, for real.

Nick McGowan (07:42.456)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (07:57.97)

focused external, I looked outwards of myself and I was like, what’s going on in your life? Let’s talk about that. And I created the space for people to come to me to vent, look for advice, essentially I started coaching when I was 15 to avoid my own shit. And it became a way to avoid these things and not process it. And from growing up through high school, I lived with my parents and then when I went to college, I lived with roommates in the dorm.

moved out of the dorm and lived with roommates in an apartment. And it was, I was always around people. Uh, when I graduated from school, I moved back to San Jose and I rented a house. And again, roommates, right before COVID, um, I’m in a house with four bedrooms and we had four couples living there. So anytime everyone was home, there’s eight people in the house. Right? So again, constantly surrounded by people and it was to avoid being alone. So I started to recognize like, okay, I would go out and I would leave the house.

on my way home, I’d be calling people, hey, what are you up to, what’s going on? I’m gonna come swing by and I’m like, why do I always do that? And I’m like, oh, I don’t wanna go home. Even though there’s people there, it’s like, I don’t wanna go back to a place where there’s the potential, what if nobody is home and I have to be by myself? So recognizing these things, like, okay, something’s going on. In 2017, I had a lot of family members pass away and it wasn’t like expected, it wasn’t like old age, it was really out of the blue. And again,

Nick McGowan (08:57.366)

Yeah.

Nick McGowan (09:08.515)

Mm-hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (09:22.49)

I didn’t learn how to really process grief or what to do with it, how to manage it. So I did it. I straight away from it, I avoided it. I was like, yeah, I don’t want to feel that. I remember one of my aunt’s funerals, I ate an edible the day before and it was like a 500 milligram lemon bar. And I ate a slice of this thing, right? I ate this.

Nick McGowan (09:41.198)

Oh, I thought you’re saying you ate the entire thing and then went to the funeral. I was like, whoa.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (09:45.346)

Well, the day after I wake up and I’m high as balls still and I’m like, fuck, I gotta go to this thing. So I remember sitting in the church with my sunglasses on, just like, completely like just act normal, right? Like not aware of what’s happening, not processing any of the emotions. I was just gone. And so, you know, towards the end of the year, I’m like, I haven’t shed a single tear. I haven’t cried or grieved over any of this fucked up shit that’s happened.

And so then I sat and I thought about it, I’m like, okay, something’s wrong. And I realized I had detached myself emotionally from my physical body. Like I had just suppressed everything and shut it all down. And I was like, I need to do something about this. And so I had a friend that was going to these meditation classes and doing some stuff like that. And I was like, okay, like let’s try that. Cause me just sitting here with it isn’t working. I went to one of these classes and it was like, you know, the sound bowls where they play the music and the lady was doing Reiki as well.

and this is all brand new to me, I don’t know anything about it. So I step into that space and she’s like, hey, I’m just gonna go and do Reiki, not gonna touch anybody. Then she comes around to me, she’s like, yo, there’s something here going on, like do you mind if I do a little bit extra work and I’m gonna make some contact with you? And I’m like, I don’t fucking know, this is brand new to me, I don’t know what it’s supposed to be anyway, so do whatever, I’m here for it, right? I’m trying to figure something out. And so I just remember sitting there and trying to meditate my version of that and then she just came around and she just did this little tap.

Nick McGowan (10:51.325)

Ha ha.

Nick McGowan (10:59.039)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (11:11.494)

And it was like, you know like when you have a sickness and your nose is clogged, you can’t breathe, and then like, I don’t know, you eat something spicy or you take a Vicks and all of a sudden your airways open up and you can breathe? It was like that but like deeper in my head. She did this whole like third eye opening or something and it was just like, like I felt it. I’m like, I don’t know what the fuck just happened, but something happened. You did something that unlocked something. I don’t know what it was. And so I remember being like, okay, well, that was interesting, that was weird.

Nick McGowan (11:15.667)

Mm-hmm.

Nick McGowan (11:30.647)

Ha ha

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (11:40.302)

and I didn’t know what to make of it, and I just kind of went back to doing things normal. And then I started to have those experiences, like I was telling you earlier, with going out in public and getting these shakes, I was starting to get these senses and feel these weird emotions that weren’t really mine, but I was like, okay, what’s going on? Why am I feeling these things? And that’s when I started to talk to, you know, my acupuncturist, and she would start to tell me, you know, oh, what about this or that? She would ask questions. It’s like, okay, you’re going through kind of an awakening. And I’m like, okay, what does that mean?

She’s like, yeah, your consciousness is opening up and you’re connecting to these various things. And I’m like, yeah, if you didn’t tell me that, I would have probably ended up homeless, right? Like somebody just on the streets just babbling like, hey, did you see that thing go by? Or did you feel this thing? And it’s like, we look at it like, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not happening or it’s not real. It’s just that’s their experience and they’re maybe have a heightened intuition or a gift or an ability. And if somebody doesn’t tell you that that’s like invalidated, then it’s like, okay, yeah, I’m just.

Nick McGowan (12:16.543)

Ha ha.

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (12:36.286)

I’m gonna go over here, be by myself, and talk to myself because no one else can relate to it. And I felt like I was at that point of like it could go either way. And luckily, I had somebody there that was like guiding me through it to be like, yeah, you’re fine, you’re okay, this is normal, this is an experience you’re having. Learn how to control it, learn how to hone it. And it was, the advice was take some time, isolate yourself because going out is gonna overwhelm you, you’re gonna be exhausted because you’re picking up what people around you are feeling. And so I had to learn how to really do that.

Nick McGowan (12:43.958)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (13:04.702)

by spending time alone, which was the number one thing I was terrified of, it was like, okay, let me do that. And I had to learn how to process and grieve and all the things that I had been avoiding for so long. And another part of that journey was a leadership development kind of process or transformational group that I was introduced to by a good friend when he learned that I wanted to step into kind of coaching. He’s like, oh, this is aligned with what you’re doing, and I’m like, cool. I also can’t cry, it’s been five years. So from…

2017 till 2021, I just, no tears were shed, I couldn’t cry. And he introduced me to this thing, day one of that program, I was bawling, I was like, oh, thank God, I’m a human being still, right? Yeah, so that’s a little backstory on all of that.

Nick McGowan (13:44.33)

Let it out, yeah.

Nick McGowan (13:49.226)

Wow. There’s so many different things that happen for people that people feel like, well, I’m all alone in this. And we’re often not all alone. And it can be really difficult for us to not understand the intangibles. Like if, like you had mentioned about being sick, I was actually sick last week and I’m still getting the shit out of my face. You know what I mean? Like there’s like the stuff that’s coming out.

but having that moment where you can breathe at different times, even blowing your nose or having tea with cough drops and like it opens you up. But you can feel that stuff. Physically, you can feel it. And like if you break an arm or you break something, you can feel it, you can also look at it. But if there’s something going on inside, it’s often pretty hard for people that aren’t aware that there are things that are outside of just the tangible life and like the physical world where they’re like, I don’t know what to do with this.

But then I think there’s also the old school mentality of like, you just fucking put dirt on it, get back in the game sort of thing. Or like you just deal with this stuff or you may be crazy and that’s the end of it. I’m glad that you had somebody that was there to be able to help you. For those people that are similar to you, may literally be going through that right now where they’re like, I’m starting to feel some different things. And like, I feel like I’m maybe

prior to where you were before you got the third eye tap or right around that time, what sort of advice would you give somebody that’s like trying to figure that out and they feel like there’s something there, but they’re not sure, like they can’t put their finger on it.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (15:25.866)

don’t be afraid to talk about it. Because I think that was the thing that was holding me back was like, yeah, like the people I’m around, the friends that I have, they’re gonna be like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? And I still think that may have been the case, but I don’t know that for sure. But by not talking about it, I just held it in and that didn’t support me. But by when I started to talk about it and open up and share these experiences, that actually allowed people to gravitate to me, to be like, oh, I can relate to that, or I’ve been through this or that, or.

Nick McGowan (15:39.914)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (15:54.382)

Now you’re starting to, you’ll be polarizing, right? You will repel certain people and be like, yo, this fucker is, I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, I don’t wanna be around that shit. And other people will be like, yeah, I can relate to that, let’s talk deeper about it. And then all of a sudden, it could be somebody you’ve known for most of your life, and you’ve just never had that conversation, because you’re both afraid of the judgment of the other person. But once something comes up, or you have this level of awareness around it, or as you speak about it more, there’s things you can listen to and hear, like.

Nick McGowan (16:11.671)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (16:20.894)

When someone says, you know, I’m spiritual, I’ll ask, what does spirituality mean to you? Is that a religious connotation, or is that energetic, is that universal, right? Like everyone has a different definition, but those are key things that I’ll listen for to be like, okay, what do you mean by that? Because then it can unravel a conversation, or it could be like, let’s not go there. If it’s a religious thing, I won’t go there, because it can be offensive, or my take on it is significantly different where I don’t wanna start expressing my unsolicited opinion on those matters. So getting clear and…

Nick McGowan (16:27.383)

Mm-hmm.

Nick McGowan (16:38.507)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (16:50.514)

person’s kind of stance on things and then openly talking about it to be like okay like this is my experience what’s yours and then you realize you’re not alone and most people are just kind of holding back or afraid to talk about it

Nick McGowan (17:02.07)

There’s also, you may be alone in that friend group because it may be time for you to grow out of that friend group. I think there are some people that, they just kind of get locked in where they’ve been and this is where they’ve been and where they will always be and the friends that they’ve had. And like, I think of people that have been friends with people since like grade school or high school. I’ve got a best friend who I’ve been friends with since day one of high school, but we’ve grown and grown apart and all of that, but it’s not like…

there are 15 people that we all do the same thing, we’ve done it for 30 years or whatever. I think some people are really afraid to be able to step out and say, there’s something that’s different that’s going on with me, or I need to talk about something because they’re afraid they’re gonna lose those friendships, they’re gonna lose the family member, or they’re gonna be shunned or pushed away. So sometimes even just stepping out and saying something is huge. Now, you had somebody that you talked to that was a professional, somebody who is an action puncturist, and they’re in that realm.

And it’s not like you just talk to some random person, 7-Eleven, while getting a slurpee. And was like, hey, I’m hearing things and feeling things. You all right there, pal? Get the fuck away from me. But you never know. But I think that’s interesting to be able to understand that there are times where you also need to ebb and flow and grow. So those people that you were friends with before, I’m assuming that you may still be friends with some of them, but probably not at the level on the stage that you are at right now. Is that correct?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (18:28.562)

Yeah, so throughout my life I’ve noticed that I kind of, I’ve always been a social butterfly where I shift and kind of change and adapt to wherever I’m at. A lot of times geographically, right? So when I went to school in Southern California, my friend group changed just because of proximity. I wasn’t hanging out with people from back home because it was an eight hour drive away, right? So I learned that one aspect of friendship is the physical proximity, the other is your interests. So whatever you’re into with a specific group, that’s typically what you’re gonna relate to, Bond.

Nick McGowan (18:37.098)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (18:58.61)

with and do, and then the saying, you are the culmination of the five people you spend the most time with. And so if you stay around the same people with the same mindset for your entire life, it stunts your growth. Versus if you get out there and you explore and you learn different perspectives, different focuses, different people, different cultures, different everything, your mind gets more expansive and you learn from each individual that you interact with.

And it’s not to say that you can’t maintain those friendships, it just takes a little bit more work because you’re not in the same physical proximity, you’re not in the same maybe interest, you’re not in the same regular recurring events or meetings, whatever it is. And so you have to take time outside of that to really kind of water those friendships. And some people are good at that, some people it’s draining. For me, I’ve got friends from way back, I’ve got friends that are new.

And to me, time doesn’t make a difference for friendships. I can connect with someone that I haven’t seen in years and it’ll be like nothing’s ever changed. And I can meet someone brand new today that I didn’t know yesterday and it’s like, oh, all of a sudden we’re best friends just because we can relate. And there’s things that, you know, we have a level of awareness around that. It’s like, oh, I can talk to you and feel seen and heard without having to go those extra steps and all the extra layers that a lot of other friendships do take.

Nick McGowan (20:02.391)

Yeah.

Nick McGowan (20:20.53)

Yeah. What a cool thing. And especially, I mean, I experience that with the podcast. I mean, you and I can hit it off pretty quickly, but I am a hundred plus episodes in right now as we record this. And I, I think back the different conversations, some that have become clients, some that have become friends. Some that are just like, they were just good people, like shit. My partner and I were talking the other day, like there are certain people we’ve met throughout our podcasting journey. That you’re just like, there’s nothing really there, but

I’m just glad to know that person’s alive and that they’re just doing things, you know? And like, what a cool thing. Now with you, when you feel things from different people and you feel that energy, I know I’ve had friends that are empaths and they didn’t know how to handle it. They didn’t know what was going on. They started to learn, but I really appreciated that you pointed out that you had to kind of create a bubble. You needed to create something where you could allow energy to come in.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (20:53.158)

Mm. Yeah.

Nick McGowan (21:18.934)

and allow energy to go out. And that takes a lot of work to do. Again, I don’t think that I’m a full empath, but I can feel things as much. And I know there are times where I have to kind of turn that off, turn that on in certain ways. But for somebody like yourself, who if you didn’t, you’d just be a giant frigging sponge, how did you work on that?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (21:42.835)

It can be overwhelming. And I remember there was a time I was at a house party and it was several different friend groups and family groups and a mix of people. But I knew every single individual there because I’d interacted in each of the groups separately. So when I was there, I’m like, why do I have this huge sensation of social anxiety and discomfort? And I’m like, that can’t be mine because I know every single person here.

Nick McGowan (21:44.418)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (22:08.902)

And then I’m like, this is someone else’s. And that was one of the first time I was like, oh, like even in a mass group, I get a lot of this kind of happening. And what I had to do is I just went outside. I went outside by myself and I did some breath work. I took some deep breaths and I was like, okay, like this is fine. I’m sensing it and I’m feeling it and it’s not mine. I can release it to be like, I could separate myself to be like, I’m feeling it and I’m experiencing it. But it’s kind of like a story that’s going through my mind. It doesn’t.

I don’t need to attach meaning to it to be like, okay, I’m gonna freak out now and have that same experience as someone else is having inside. I’m just gonna recognize it, let it flow through me, and then release it. So, and that’s similar to what I learned to do with the emotions that I had suppressed for a very long time. What we resist persists, versus if you acknowledge it and let it just run its course, like everything’s temporary. The happiest moment of my life will eventually fade out. The worst moment of my life will eventually fade out.

The same is true for the minute experiences and all the emotions that come up. So any time that I notice, okay, I’m sad, or I’m feeling grief, or I’m feeling anger, I’ll just stop. And if it’s available, I’ll lay down and just be like, okay, feel it, where am I feeling it? Where in my body? And then just focus on it. Just be like, okay, yeah, I’m fucking pissed right now. Like, I’m bad, it’s like right here, it’s in my chest, it’s in my arms. Okay, feel that. And then over time, it’s like, okay, and it goes away, it lessens, it lessens. Versus if I’m like, oh, I don’t wanna deal with that shit right now.

Nick McGowan (23:19.735)

Hmm

Nick McGowan (23:33.378)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (23:35.654)

I’m just gonna, I’ll deal with it later. Then I hold it in. And then I’m walking around with it like, you know, sack of potatoes on my shoulder. And you just carry that and then it’ll fuck you up.

Nick McGowan (23:42.298)

Yeah. Big time. Especially to be able to understand like that, that shit that you repress, it can be easy to repress it. We do it. We’ve done it. There are so many people that do it. And a lot of people that get stuck doing it. But I’m glad you brought up the emotions. That’s something that we talked about on the show. Pretty often. I’m emotional, hyper emotional at times. But I know that I’ve done the same thing where like there were times where I’m like, I

I don’t know what to do with these. So I’m not gonna do anything with these. I’ll let future Nick deal with these. Then future Nick is like, what the fuck? If past Nick did something with this, we’d all be okay right now. And you have to go through those experiences sometimes to then be woken up to go, all right, I have to sit with this. I appreciate that you will feel through those because I think there’s a misconception with emotions where people think that they can overtake you, but they’re literally there as just a…

a flag or a trigger or a reminder to have like, Hey, there’s something going on something for you to work with something to alert you of it’s like there’s a light being shown on something for somebody like yourself. That’s an empath that feels from other people. I could imagine that would be pretty difficult, at least in the beginning stages to figure out like what’s mine, what’s not mine. Because for people that aren’t empaths, it can be difficult for them to figure out what do I need to actually deal with now?

Like what is the emotion telling me that I should do something with? And what’s the time and place to be able to work with it? Like almost like taking a beat for a second. Like you had said, if I can lay down and figure out where this stuff is, great. But if you’re in the middle of a crowded space or having a podcast interview, if you were like, hold on, and you just went fucking lay down for a second, I feel like, what? Time and place of things, but being able to figure out how to do that, but also understand what’s yours and what’s not yours.

Break that down a little bit for me.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (25:40.506)

I think communication is key too. Because yeah, if I just went off camera and I laid down, you’re like, where the fuck did this guy go, right? Like we’re in the middle of this shit. But if I was like, hey Nick, what I just shared was really impactful. Do you mind if I just take a minute to kind of center myself? I think that would be acceptable. And then like literally in a minute, the technique box breathing, where it’s like inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale four seconds, hold for four seconds. You do that for a minute and you’ll be surprised at how the emotional state goes back to whatever it needs to be.

Nick McGowan (25:42.411)

Hmm.

Nick McGowan (25:46.708)

Yeah, what? Jeff!

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (26:09.926)

And so grounding ourselves and using the breath is something that’s readily available anywhere and everywhere. So there have been times, and I started to notice this, right? So like I’ll go to an event or a party and when I go home, it’s like hindsight’s 2020 where it’s like, oh, I didn’t really like how I was being this way or damn, I really fucked up that opportunity to do this or that or have this conversation or go and talk to that person. And I realized like, okay, this happens as I’m reflecting afterwards.

Whoa, sorry, hold on.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (26:46.162)

I got audio coming from somewhere.

I don’t… Can you hear me, Nick?

Nick McGowan (26:51.51)

Yeah, I can hear you.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (26:54.91)

Where the fuck is this coming from? Sorry, somebody called me and it’s… No, okay, I can still hear you.

Nick McGowan (27:04.458)

Oh, good. This is what production notes are for.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (27:08.628)

I don’t know what to do. How do I close this?

Nick McGowan (27:12.622)

Do you have a random tab open with like YouTube or something?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (27:16.042)

That’s what I’m looking for. No, I don’t.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (27:23.954)

Okay, sorry about that. I was like, am I going crazy? Am I hearing something that’s not there? No, there was a tab. Sorry about that. Question.

Nick McGowan (27:25.142)

Are you feeling some sort of music? Ha ha ha.

Nick McGowan (27:31.986)

All right, you’re good. No worries. So take it from that taking a beat and being able to say like, yeah, if I stepped off camera and I laid down. All right, ready?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (27:42.15)

Yeah, so I’ve learned to do this like in the… Am I good?

Nick McGowan (27:45.474)

3, 2.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (27:48.806)

So what I’ve learned to do is, like even in the middle of a party or in an interaction when I’m out in public, when I go to the bathroom, or if I just need to take a minute to find somewhere to just real quick step out and be like, okay, let me do a reset and check in. Am I happy with how I’m showing up? Am I being more kind of like a wallflower? Am I being more reserved? Am I being too much, right? Like the things I would typically reflect on the ride home, I’ll do it in the middle of an interaction or in the middle of an event.

to be like, oh, I can shift it right here and right now. And that can change the energy that can, it gives me awareness of where I’m at and how I wanna be in that interaction. And this allows me to kinda ebb and flow with what’s present in front of me so I don’t have regrets. Now with getting aware of what’s mine and what someone else’s was, again, through spending time alone. And I know that’s not always readily available for people, so even through meditation, just taking time to still yourself and be present to what you’re feeling.

Nick McGowan (28:26.633)

Okay.

Nick McGowan (28:31.882)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (28:46.866)

when you’re not engaging in social interactions, right? When you’re having a conversation, it’s hard to be self-aware and recognize what’s yours versus projection and what someone else is projecting onto you and all these other aspects of things. So being alone with your thoughts to understand, okay, what is my process? What are my triggers? What are these things? Through meditation, through journaling, through self-reflection, whatever your process is, to really get to know you.

Nick McGowan (28:55.894)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (29:12.646)

And another tip or trick, because sometimes it’s daunting or it’s scary and there’s the negative side of these emotions, what I’ve learned to do is to really have gratitude, to appreciate the fact that I can feel these things versus before when I would just shut it all down and I was only operating in the highs. It’s like, I only wanna feel good, I only wanna have happy emotions, but through that, you get numb to that as well. And so really that kind of polarity of life and the experiences that we get to have is what creates the excitement around it.

Nick McGowan (29:30.787)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (29:42.418)

If we only felt one emotion all the time, I think it would get real boring.

Nick McGowan (29:45.642)

Yeah, absolutely. Just like if people were like, wow, I wish everybody was like me. It’s like, well, if they were, life would really suck. Yeah, I absolutely don’t want that. Even if we can clone me, like the world doesn’t need another Nick McGowan. But being able to be mindful of those things, like you were talking about, being able to take a beat and being able to reflect and understand. I think there’s also a portion of that where we need to understand what are we.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (29:51.491)

Fuck no

Nick McGowan (30:14.466)

thinking that we need to do based off of traumas. Like I should be this certain way, I should be the extrovert, I should be this. And the shoulds are just complete bullshit. And the stories and being able to separate from that, and then being able to separate from what is somebody else’s, what’s yours. And like you had said, being able to just have that space just where you can be on your own. You’re not alone, but I’m really glad that you brought that up, that you were trying to escape in every way that you could from just.

You were trying to run away from yourself. And I don’t know if you’ve ever done this. My partner and I talk about this every once in a while, we laugh with and at each other. There are times where we’ve processed through things like gone through deep subconscious processing, we’re having deep conversations with ourselves where we wanna get the fuck away from us. Like I don’t wanna be near Nick McGowan. And I’m like, how do I get away from me? And I can’t get away from me because I’m still right fucking here.

But when you’re trying to get away and doing those things, like I’ve done that before where I’m like, oh, I’m in the car for 20 minutes. I’ll call somebody right now because I don’t wanna be with my thoughts for the moment. Or I’ll turn metal all the way up and just have shit blasting in my ears. Instead of just taking that time to be able to be with yourself. I think people, we can also use that as that trigger response of like, hey, there’s something you should actually do with this. Just like an emotion is telling you, like, hey, there’s something that you should look at. If you’re trying to run away, like you had done where you’re like, what am I doing?

I need to actually sit with this. So talk to me a bit about your daily disciplines and how you continue to work that.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (31:47.402)

Okay, real quick I want to go back to, one thing that I don’t think people realize is that our personality is actually a choice. But we don’t see it that way because it’s like, we’re a victim of the circumstances, right? So I was raised this way or this was the environment I grew up in, so this is the outcome of it. Yeah, and now that you’re aware of it, you can choose to work on those things so that your trauma response is actually a choice or something that you use to empower yourself.

Nick McGowan (32:02.104)

Mm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (32:16.486)

It takes a lot of work, but you can change any aspect of yourself and how you show up. Like, okay, if I’m always an asshole, I don’t need to be. I can do something about that. If I’m always not willing to state my opinion or I’m playing small, I don’t always have to be that way. You can do something to change that. So realizing that it’s a choice and self-mastery, and I’ve witnessed this with a lot of the trainers that are in the self-development space that lead these workshops.

Nick McGowan (32:24.542)

Yeah.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (32:41.982)

they turn their personality aspects on and off based on the need in front of them. So whoever they’re interacting with, there’s a way to compliment that, to really empower and invoke something in that person. And they’ll flip that switch on and off depending on what they need in the moment. And it’s not that they’re not being authentic, they’ve mastered that within themselves. And that’s available and accessible to anyone that’s willing to do the work. Now, in terms of my daily practices, yeah, so I meditate on a daily basis.

I also perform self-reiki on a daily basis. And that allows me to be in tune with, okay, what are my thoughts? What are my feelings? What am I also releasing from the day, depending on the day that I had? You know, there’s a lot of Zoom interactions these days that I’ll have that don’t have as much of an energetic drag on me versus going out in public and seeing people face to face. But there’s still a level of that that’s happening. And so more often than not, I have to do like an empath cleanse.

And so I’ll kind of just take a moment to, for me there’s a level of visualization and intention that just gets put onto it. So anytime I take a shower, I envision as though anything that’s not mine is being rinsed off of me and just goes down the drain. And then as I’m breathing in, I’m inhaling more, just kind of light to fill the void because you don’t want to wash it off and then leave it open for anything else to come clean to it. In the same way with the energy, I’ll do, part of what I do and teach my clients is,

Mudras, which are what we do with our hands during meditation. So there’s two key ones that I use for my empath cleansing. And that’s, this is a detox mudra, where you take your thumb and you put it on kind of where you would have a ring for your ring finger, and then the fingers are in this stair step kind of configuration. And this is a way to just release any energy that’s not yours. The other one is to interlock your fingers with the index fingers up, and then pointing it downward, and then just channeling all the negative energy or anything that isn’t yours out and into the ground.

And through those two methods with some kind of YouTube guided meditations that I do, I’ll release anything from the day that isn’t mine and then refill and kind of just imagine as though I’m inflating a balloon inside of myself that just is my energy again. And that allows me to kind of step back and okay what’s authentically mine versus what have I been carrying that someone else’s. That in conjunction with cold showers. So I do a cold shower every morning.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (35:07.806)

And again, this allows me to have gratitude because when I step into it, right, there’s huge discomfort, my body goes into fight or flight, but I’ve learned to appreciate it. I’m like, I’m able to sense and feel this sensation because I’m alive. When I die, which is inevitable, I won’t be able to feel this thing. The same way I won’t be able to feel the emotions. So while I’m alive, I’m gonna appreciate and have gratitude for all of it.

Nick McGowan (35:24.013)

Hmm.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (35:34.182)

It also supports with mental fortitude and looking at things from a much different stance where it’s like, what’s the uncomfortable thing I’m avoiding even though I know it’s good for me? To be able to mentally override it and step into a cold shower every morning, it builds that habit and the ability to be like, okay, what do I not want to face emotionally right now and I get to go there because I know that there’s huge health benefits.

Nick McGowan (35:59.126)

Yeah, great stuff, man. So along those lines, with the discipline and all, what’s that one piece of advice you give to somebody that’s on their path towards self-mastery?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (36:09.358)

Mm. What’s amazing, right? So human interaction, we’re very interesting creatures. And what we don’t realize is that we are always projecting. And so one way to really become self-aware is to take a look around you, at the people in your space and in your circles, and say what bothers you, what triggers you, right? What I’ve found is anything that bothers me in someone else only bothers me because it’s a reflection of something that I do or something that I carry.

and it’s that mirror that really is what’s bothering you. It’s like, oh, it’s a reminder of this, to my subconscious, of a thing that I do. And most of the time, we don’t take that opportunity to stop and look at it, and we’re just like, no, I do not like this person. But if you ask yourself why, you’ll learn something about yourself.

Nick McGowan (36:52.354)

Yeah.

Nick McGowan (36:57.506)

And great, great way to put that and great observation. I know there are times where I do stuff like that and it’s like, oh, I’m doing that because of this. Shit, damn. And then you’re like kind of working through your stuff. And Jeff, I appreciate you being on. This has been great. Hey, before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you?

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (37:18.93)

Social media, my handle is YukiKazu, which is my middle name. So Y-U-K-I-K-A-Z-U 408. So that’s like Instagram, TikTok. I have a Beacons page too, which is like a LinkedIn. And then my website for the self-development side and the Reiki side of things is food, the number four, thought408.com.

Nick McGowan (37:42.31)

Awesome. Jeff, thank you so much for being on the show today, man. It’s been a pleasure.

Jeff Yukikazu Sera (37:46.427)

It has been. Thank you so much for having me, Nick.