You know that feeling when a conversation just flows effortlessly, when both people feel seen, heard, and understood? That’s no accident. It’s something we can actually design in our relationships.
I first learned about this concept during my coaching certification, where we practiced something called designing an alliance. It’s a simple but powerful way to set clear expectations upfront so both people walk away feeling valued and supported. And recently, I realized just how much this applies to all areas of life, whether it's friendships, family, or even professional connections.
In today’s episode, I’m sharing how you can use this approach to create more meaningful interactions in your life. Plus, I’ll tell you about a dear friend of mine who had this down to an art, so much so that our time together was always intentional and fulfilling.
So let’s take a Wise Walk together and explore how designing an alliance can help you connect more deeply with the people who matter most.
What are the opportunities in your life where you can design an alliance with your family, friends, or co-workers to ensure quality time and mutual appreciation of each other’s needs?
Are you setting the stage to communicate what you need in return, and are you doing that in a way that enhances your relationships?
What are the ways you’re bringing this concept into your life to create meaningful conversations and exchanges with those around you?
Are there relationships in your life where you naturally design an alliance or upfront contract expectations, and do you do this unconsciously?
Can you take a moment to appreciate and express gratitude for those relationships where you already hold space for each other to grow and feel understood?
In other relationships—whether work or personal—are there opportunities for you to create deeper understanding and communicate more proactively?
How can you honor the fact that we are all constantly evolving, and how can you adjust your communication and agreements to reflect changing needs?
What are the opportunities in your life to experiment with designing an alliance or an upfront contract, and how might this approach change your interactions?
I’d love to hear what resonated with you in today’s episode. Feel free to reach out, share your thoughts, and teach me something new—because I’m always curious. And be sure to join me next Thursday for another Wise Walk.
In this episode:
[04:06] How my friend JT and I would appreciate maximizing our time together by having an upfront contract when we spent time together.
[05:18] We designed an alliance with an upfront contract that allowed our relationship to grow.
[06:09] I have another friend who upfront contracts her priorities of sleep, eating well, and getting exercise.
[07:22] Think about whether you have relationships where there are opportunities to create this understanding and communicate proactively about what you both expect.
Memorable Quotes:
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