This week, I wanted to dive deeper into something that came up from our last conversation about unburdening ourselves as we head toward the end of the year. One of our Striders reached out and said, "I love that word discernment, but sometimes I struggle with knowing when I'm releasing something for my own good and when I'm just isolating." That question really resonated with me because I've been there too with trying to figure out if I'm stepping back for clarity or pulling away out of self-protection.
So in this episode, we're exploring what it means to practice discernment versus isolation, and how both can show up in our lives. There have been times when I've had to hit pause and really tune in to what my own voice was saying. These are moments when I needed quiet to think, to breathe, to just be with myself. There have also been times when pulling back for a bit was the kindest thing I could do. That space wasn't about pushing people away. It was about giving myself room to reset. When we bring a little more awareness, intention, and compassion to those moments, it changes everything. It helps us reflect instead of react.
Since the holidays are coming, with all the emotions they tend to stir up, it feels like the perfect time to notice what we're running toward and what we might be running from. The pauses we take can either drain us or refuel us, so let's be mindful of which kind we're choosing. On today's Wise Walk we'll see how discernment can help us reemerge stronger, clearer, and more connected than before.
- As you reflect on your life, are there times when you know you need to take a step back, step aside, or release something, and you feel that discernment guiding you?
- Do you recognize moments when you react, withdraw without reflection, or feel too overwhelmed to process what's happening?
- How can you hold space for both discernment and isolation and understand when each is serving you?
- Can you feel good about applying them when necessary, with the hope that both lead to deeper connection?
- Are you withdrawing without reflection, reacting out of hurt or defensiveness, or intentionally isolating to heal and protect yourself?
- Can you be aware of what's motivating your choice and what outcome you truly want?
- Are you stepping back to foster connection or pushing others away out of fear or exhaustion?
- Where in your life are you practicing healthy discernment that supports connection?
- Where might you be isolating without a plan for how to reemerge better?
- Are you running toward something that aligns with your growth or running away from something that feels hard to face?
- With that awareness, can you make new choices that bring you the support you need?
- Can you focus on what you're running toward and what you're running away from, and take action that helps you reemerge stronger?
- Do you sense when it's time to immerse yourself in community and when it's time to rest and recharge in solitude, knowing both can help you reemerge stronger?
I want to thank the Strider who reached out with that thoughtful question. It reminded me how powerful it is to pause, reflect, and check in with ourselves.
The holidays can stir up so much joy, nostalgia, and even heaviness. It's okay to take a step back when you need to. Until next week, please remember to listen to your heart, honor your energy, and always make space for fun along the way.
In this episode:
- [03:05] I share Google's definition of discernment being the ability to make sound judgments through perception and wisdom. Isolation is the state of being alone or separate from others.
- [04:04] Sometimes when making a big decision, I would isolate myself from others, so I could reflect on my own voice.
- [05:26] Language can have different meanings, but when I was judged for isolation I was actually using discernment to look into my heart and find what's best for me.
- [06:08] The temporary timeout we give ourselves is good, because it allows us to re-emerge better. Discernment can foster connection when we find what's true to ourselves.
- [07:24] It's important for us to know the difference between isolating and searching for discernment.
- [08:04] We should also be aware of when our isolation is reactive.
- [09:22] The other day my aunt's horse, Blue, needed dental work. I had to take a step back because I have some trauma around dental work.
- [11:20] It's important for us to have discernment to navigate and flow with things that come up in life.
- [12:59] My goal is to emerge stronger and clearer.
- [13:32] Holidays can be hard emotionally for many different reasons.
- [16:03] Thank you to The Strider who asked this question. It was really helpful for me to self reflect on the differences between isolation and discernment.
Memorable Quotes:
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- "Discernment is that pause we take to hear our own voice again." - Mary Tess
- "Sometimes that step back is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and others." - Mary Tess
- "Awareness helps us know whether we're protecting our peace or avoiding our growth." - Mary Tess
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