So it's Christmas time and yet people in America no longer wish each other "Merry Christmas." Instead they are saying "Happy Holidays." Why? Which holiday are they referring to? Hanukkah was finished a week after Thanksgiving this year. So what other "holy" day are they referring to? Kwanzaa? "Maulana Karenga created Kwanzaa in 1966 as the first specifically African-American holiday" according to wikipedia. Now I suppose I could mention that Dr. Maulana Karenga was born Ronald McKinley Everett on a poultry farm in Parsonsburg, Maryland. He was the seventh son and fourteenth child of a baptist minister. Ronald Everette would eventally change his name 20 years later to Maulana Karenga which translates as “Master Teacher”. Near the end of the article wikipedia cites: "According to Keith Mayes, the author of Kwanzaa: Black Power and the Making of the African-American Holiday Tradition, the popularity within the US has "leveled off" as the black power movement there has declined, and now between half and two million people celebrate Kwanzaa in the US, or between one and five percent of African Americans. Mayes adds that white institutions now celebrate it.[8]"
So... again what holiday are you referring to?
It is okay. You can say it... Christmas. I am a Jew and you can wish me "Merry Christmas" and I will not only not be offended I will indeed wish you a "Merry Christmas to you." Why? Because I am not that narcissistic.
I am convinced that those who are opposed to Christmas celebrations, decorations, and greeting are narcissists.
So what if is not your holiday? As Dennis Prager has noted, and I am paraphrasing his idea, this anti-Christmas narcissistic behavior is analogous to someone being offended or upset whenever it is someone else's birthday. Since it is not your birthday then will you not allow others to public celebrate their own birthday?
In fact, I can say that as a Jew I am truly grateful for America's Christmas spirit and merriment. I, you, and everyone can benefit from the beautiful decorations and cheerfulness during this season. I was in Asia during the holidays one year and it just felt... oddly non festive... as there was nothing special going on like there was here. Here starting after Thanksgiving, the streets are lined in beautiful lights. The neighborhood's homes are adorned with beautiful lights and decorations. Stores are decorated with cheer and joy. It is wonderful. Why? Because it's for your holiday Christmas - not winter, not Kwanzaa, not Hanukkah, I know that reason for the cheer and adornment is because of the traditions surrounding the holiday of Christmas. So as someone who benefits from your merriment... I thank you!
Actually, most of my religious Jewish friends feel similar to myself and Prager in this regard. It tends to be the secular Jews who take issue. My theory is that the more rooted in your own religiosity the more comfortable you will feel when others express their different religious celebrations. I was once a "secular" Jew. I was atheist through and through, but still had a separate ethnic identity as a Jew, and I heard all the clamoring from my "peers" who somehow felt offended by Christmas. Why? In the final analysis, the general cause of their disdain for Christmas was their own narcissism. Their opinion was along the lines of: "I am not a Christian, so I have a right to be free from having to in anyway experience their religion or holiday."
They would bring up the notion of separation of church and state, but of course it was conveniently taken out of context.
As for my friends who were secular Jews I would again use another Prager idea and ask: Since Israel is 80% Jewish is it okay for Israelis to wish everyone "Shanah tovah (Happy New Year)?", the typical greeting around the time of Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish new year which occurs around September.) In general they answered "Of course." So then I ask: Is it therefore okay that since 90% of Americans identify themselves as Christian they can wish everyone "Merry Christmas?" Typically they argue that the reason it is okay in Israel is because Israel is a Jewish nation, but it is not okay in America because America is not a Christian nation.
True, America does not have state controlled religion as you can argue exists in Israel. But it is irrefutable that America is a nation predominately Christian in its religious make up of its citizenship as well as its founding. Also, just because our government is secular that does not mean that the nation is secular. Rather the founding fathers wisely envisioned a limited, secular government for the religious peoples comprising this great nation. They also designed a constitutional republic which guaranteed freedom of religion, not freedom from religion.
So, for all intents and purposes America is a Christian nation. And they should be free to express their religiosity and publicly celebrate their holidays. Are my fellow Jews opposed to the public lighting of the menorah as they do here in Houston at city hall? Of course not. Even in my small town of Kingwood, where there are less than 100 Jewish families, yet this overwhelmingly Christian suburb graciously allows us to do a public menorah lighting and celebration during Hanukkah. I suppose I should mention that Hanukkah, a post-Biblical holiday, is not nearly as important to Jews as Christmas is to Christians. In fact, we should thank the Christian's in America for helping us make this otherwise minor holiday more major. The truth is that the gift giving and the increased levels of observance of Hanukkah is largely due to reactionary response to the celebrations of Christmas in America. Again, I thank you!
So yes, Narcissism! The arrogant pride of oneself that leads to indecent and egoistic behaviors at the cost of others. If you are so uptight about Christmas trees and lights and decorations and the religio-specific greeting "Merry Christmas"... then you are probably a narcissist.
Or you are a coward who is afraid of being confronted by a narcissist.
You choose.
Now for my other rant about narcissism. This one is based off of a message from a listener... Jim in Texas. So thank you Jim, though I am unsure if you knew I would actually use your submission for an Ultimate Issues subject. By the way, this is an invitation to all of you. One thing I have figured out the Ultimate Issues podcast listenership is variegated, but with one commonality... you love to think and question and gain insight. So if you have any ideas or stories you'd like to share or get my thoughts on, you can email me as Jim did at roman@ultimateissues.com or simply share your ideas in the comment area at ultimateissues.com.
Here's the story, and it comes from UPWORTHY.com
And its a TEDx youtube video with over 4 million hits. 
For full comments please listen to podcast. As I don't want to transcribe her talk.
As far as the notion that everyone must come out of their closet in order to push your agenda or cause (per Ash's TEDx Talk)... Would she or the audience feel as passionate as the do for liberals coming out of the closet as the would about a black conservative republican? He or she is likely in the closet with his liberal, democrat family and friends... and probably for good reason. He won't change them or their politics, and they will only think less of him. Not all hard conversation have to be had. Not everyone needs to come out of their closet. In general, if coming out of your closet only does good for you (because you feel better) and shifts the problem or burden onto others and you know there is no good for others that will come from it, then don't do it. If you do, then you are acting selfish and narcissistic.
Here's the deal. In the final analysis today's activists are generally narcissists. They are actively trying to change the world to suit their personal needs or desires or dreams. They are trying to cause the macro to submit to the micro. For instance, trying to get a very small percentage of people to be treated different because they feel different. Case in point, transgender. Where as in the normative world boys are prohibited from using the girls restrooms, in more and more schools if a boy feels like a girl then he can go use the girls restroom. Who does this benefit? Only the boy... and at the expense of others. Hence, a narcissistic idea.
Now to be clear, I 100% believe in the civil rights movement which reached its peak in the 1960's. That all people should be treated as equals under the law is correct and just regardless of circumstance. So why is today's activists different than those lead by MLK, Jr. He was fighting a government and a courtroom, while today's activists are fighting 4 year olds (as Ash stated above.) People should be free to have their own opinions. People should be free to not agree. But today's activists are trying to convince people that if they don't agree then they are evil. Not wrong... evil. Hence, why she mentions being prepared to battle a four year olds simple question "Are you a girl or a boy?" Her decision to dress and style herself is of her own free will, and like the rest of us she cannot expect everyone else to like or understand or agree with it.
The idea that you must accept me no matter what is a narcissistic and dangerous idea. Actually, activists are beyond just trying to get acceptance... they want celebration. You must celebrate the activists cause. Whether it be redefining gender, redefining marriage, or global warming... the activist believes that if you are not passionately with them, then you are against them.
This is the narcissism that leads to issues like this:
Yep, if you are a religious Jew, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or Hindu and then you and your religious opposition to same sex marriage is not only wrong... But were you to deny service for a same sex wedding (say as a baker, caterer, photographer, or Clergy/Officiate) then you could face jail time!
Now all this could be avoided by not acting like a narcissist, and instead of demanding service because you are you... simply go to someone who will gladly provide services regardless of circumstance.
Again this is an instance of having the macro bend to the will of the micro. The civil rights movement was a macro movement in every way. A large percentage of the population is not WASP. Half are not male. It's a simple concept that can be applied in many instances... as Spock has said "The needs of the many out way the needs of the few." What defines needs, many, or few? Well that's left open ended. And I will speak on this at a later point.
The point is this: Yes, a level of self interest is necessary and good. But when your self interests come at the cost, denial, or demand of others' interests then you are acting narcissistic.
As Rabbi Hillel said "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" Ethics of the Fathers, 1:14
If you want to pursue happiness, and do good, then you will learn to act for the benefit of others and not solely for yourself.
Let me know what you think. Thank you and merry Christmas!
