Happy New Year! I know I've mentioned before that since this is time shifted media (meaning you can listen or read this at any point in time) I would work to not have time bound posts or podcasts. So this post, as with my "Christmas" one, are meant to be broader than just for today.
New Years Resolutions:
Do you make them?
Do you keep them?
Do you take them seriously?
Do make resolutions or wishes?
How have they affected you in the past?
Are there areas in your own life you would like to resolve?
Can you narrow it down to an area?
Here's my take on New Year Resolutions:
I love them. I love them when they are done right. And that is what I intend to help you with today.
By the way you can use this at any time in the year or your life. But the first of the year is a great point to start because it is an easy line of demarcation. In 2013 I did this, but as of 2014 I do this other thing and don't do that which I did before.
Since so many have a hard time with New Years Resolutions (8% are successful at their resolutions), let me start with the pitfalls.
New Years Resolutions are not wish lists.
For example: Lose 50 pounds, Win American Ninja Warrior, Find true love, Get Promoted, or Become a Musician.
For most people these are dreams or wishes the may really want to come true. But they are just that... wishes.
Wishes are things you hope for. Dreams are not reality. Resolutions however are things that you are determined about, and you are resolved to attain.
Imagine someone has been badly injured. You go to visit them and they say "The doctors say I may not walk again... I sure hope I can walk again." Do you think their recovery will be as rapid or full as the person that says "The doctors say I may not walk again... but I have determined that I will and I have decided that everyday I will work toward my accomplishment... step by step."
If you want to make a New Year Resolutions list this year then make it filled with resolutions. Get real and ask yourself "what am I determined to do?"
And then, start writing all the reasons why you must. Get brutally honest with yourself and tell the truth about why must be resolved to do so. Come up with at least 5 reasons. If you cannot come up with 5 reasons... then maybe its a wish... or maybe you need to move on to the next step...
Again, being extremely intellectually honest I want you to write all the excuses... I mean reasons... you have not changed up to this point. Even if its something as self-evident bad for you as cigarette smoking, you have good reasons for why you do it and have not changed yet.
Seriously, write out at least 5 reasons why you have continued up to now, or why you have not acted up to now (depending on your scenario.)
Now this may seem like a ton of work, but that actually leads me to the next pitfall...
Too often people make the proverbial laundry list of things they are going to do this year.
For Example,
This list is fairly paradigmatic of what folks have spoken with me about in the office. First of all, its a fine list of things that will probably enhance most peoples' idea of quality of life. Fine.
But it's a long list to get determined about. Its a great list to completely fail at though.
Chunk it down.
Figure out what you are really going for. What one thing (or maybe two) are you 100% committed to doing (or not doing)? Seriously, you have got to get very real and honest with yourself and DECIDE what you will change starting right now.
And then once you have that one thing start taking massive action on it immediately.
So for instance, if its "stop smoking" and you don't know what to do next about it, well as I said above... First of all you need to really find out you really big WHYs. All the reasons why you must stop now, and all the reasons why you have not stopped until now. Then start getting your identity ready for the new you.
You can start telling yourself "I am not a smoker." Or you can write it down and post it throughout your house, car, or wherever you are triggered to smoke. Get leverage by informing others like you spouse, kids, parents, friends, anyone whose opinion of you value that you are determined to becoming a non-smoker.
Now after a few months of not smoking and you know that you are a "non-smoker" you can move on, but in the beginning chunk it down to one or so resolutions. By the way, if its more than one then they should be synergistic, like "become a non-smoker and start cross fit 3 times a week".
Remember,
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
~Albert Einstein
Okay so that once again leads me to my final bone to pick regarding resolution pitfalls. I call it:
There is an acronym for successful goal setting that was I believe started by the famous business legend Peter Drucker, S.M.A.R.T. As time went on the acronym was lengthened to S.M.A.R.T.E.R. Hence, my pitfall acronym is D.U.M.B.E.R.
D: Disagree = You have resolutions that disagree with each other. They are conflicting values.
U: Unrealistic = You have resolutions that are so far beyond reason that you set yourself up to fail. Either you are going for perfection, or tomorrow, or more money than Bill Gates, whatever it is it is not something you can really own and envision with clarity.
M: Misguided = This has many forms. The most common is your resolutions are not focused on you. Instead they are focused on things outside of your control. The problem with this should be self evident.
B: Broad = Way too broad and general resolutions. "I going to lose weight" or "invest more money" are common examples. What does that mean? One pound lost and you are good? But on the other hand...
E: Exact = Way to exact and specific resolutions. "I am going to lose 56 pounds and be at 8% body fat in 90 days." Your resolution should not become an end unto itself. Ultimately it is about the betterment of you through working on your resolutions, not the exact numbers.
R: Reject = Too often people focus only on rejecting things from their lives. "I am not going to eat chocolate, and I am not going to watch TV, and I am not ..." It's okay to have a prohibition but be sure to add something new in its place.
So that is my DUMBER list.
True to form, here are my suggestions:
S = Specific (or Significant)
M = Measurable (or Meaningful)
A = Attainable (or Action-Oriented)
R = Relevant (or Rewarding)
T = Time-bound (or Trackable)
E = Evaluate (or Ethical)
R = Reevaluate (or Rewarded)
Unfortunately, people are not in the right frame of mind when they make their New Years Resolutions. I suggest you revisit times in your past where you have changed for the better, and feel how good it feels to know you can change. Allow that feeling to be real and powerful so you can be totally certain you can change, and absolutely resolved this will happen, and know that it is already happening.
Most people wait for an appropriate time to tackle their resolutions. "I won't start my diet until after Valentines day, because you know there is going to be chocolate everywhere and..."
There is a term for this... PROCRASTINATION.
Procrastination is not allowed in my house. I HATE PROCRASTINATION. As Tony Robbins says "Procrastination is a silent killer."
So many good people, with good goals and resolutions, and good intentions fail because they don't ever START.
Of course, starting is not enough. You must follow through. You must gain momentum. You must notice your results and change where needed. But these other steps cannot be made until you START.
And remember keep it simple.
If you don't know how to start or where to improve your life, let me recommend the H.H.C. idea from Dennis Prager.
A while back he had a show on resolutions and Dennis recommend making resolutions in one or more of the following categories.
H = Health
H = Happiness
C = Character
Are there areas of your health that you could improve?
Or are there areas of your life where you could improve your level of happiness or increase your ability to at least act happy?
Or are there parts of your character you know you would like to change or improve?
Focusing on HHC is a brilliant way to not only improve your own life, but often times the lives of others as well. Everyone benefits.
And finally, besides keeping it simple, and besides focusing on HHC, please, PLEASE avoid the destructive all or nothing attitude. All or nothing is disempowering and destructive mindset. Rather, take on the mindset that something is better than nothing. Something is better than nothing is infinitely better and more productive than all or nothing in most areas of life. So at least improve a little rather than not improve at all.
Okay... so what are you waiting for?
Make your resolutions NOW! And get started on a creating an extraordinary 2014 for yourself.
Have a Happy, Healthy, and Good New Year! God Bless!
