Description

In this episode, Tracy explores the mental health challenges facing young people and offers practical advice for parents and carers to help them through any difficulties they may face, followed by a bonus free hypnosis session.

Links referenced in the podcast:

Text: 82111

Email:frank@talktofrank.com

Tracy Kimberg is a Counselling Hypnotherapist Practitioner and specialises in working with young people.

For help with any issues raised in this podcast, or for a free initial consultation, contact Tracy:

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Website: www.tracykimberg.com

Music:

DeepWoods by Lilo Sound
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/6005-deepwoods
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

My name is Tracy Kimberg. I'm a counseling hypnotherapists practitioner, and I am really excited about this episode. I really enjoy helping teenagers in my practice. I don't think it's easy being a teenager, especially now teenagers have so many problems and we go to just delve a little deeper into how teenagers are coping in lockdown and what parents can do.
You as parents or you as teenagers listening, what you can do to cope better and to help build your resilience and help build your happiness. And of course your relationships at the end, going to do another hypnotherapy, download for you completely free something that's going to help you relax. It's called a body scan.
And for those of you that have never done it, it's nothing to do with x-rays. It's just you doing a very, very effective relaxation technique. That's going to help you relax and feel calm. When we look at the statistics about mental health, it says that 50% of mental health problems are established by the age of 1475.
By the age of 24, I find this really shocking and truly reveals that our teenagers are finding life more challenging than we may realize. So let's explore teenage mental health a bit more, and let's find out what we can do when our teenagers can't cope. Thinking back of when I was a teenager, I can remember it.
Wasn't easy. You have a lot of pressures and you experience things so intensely teenagers have a lot to deal with. Yes, they hormones can wreck havoc on emotions and can naturally lead to individuals experiencing many highs and lows. But teen mental health, like adults can also be effected by all sorts of factors.
Of course, we can't deny that biological factors such as genetics or recovering from a brain injury or an infection, or perhaps even a disease or prenatal damage could cause mental health issues. But in my experience as a therapist, I have seen the environmental factors that directly affect teenagers, mental health.
And it's the triggers from the environment and the stress that adolescence cannot deal with, which causes them to have this feeling of complete Oh, the well, so let's discuss some of these environmental factors. Bullying for instance, so many children are affected by bullying. Bullying seems to have become a culture which has been ignored for so long bullying needs to be addressed.
And thank goodness a lot of the schools have got safeguarding rules in place to prevent these things from happening. But I still see the results of bullying when my clients sit in front of me. Some of them adults and they have still got issues and triggers that as a result of being bullied children of today have so many schoolwork demands.
I don't know about you, but my children that have been homeschooling or really under so much stress. It takes a lot of effort to constantly reassure them that what they're doing is right. What they're doing is going to pay off. And that, yes, they're not going to be writing exams for instance, but to hard work will pay off in the end.
It's difficult to keep them motivated when they don't have something as a reference. Trauma and emotional and physical or sexual abuse is a definite factor of obviously mental health problems, unstable or dysfunctional home environment. A lot of people have a dysfunctional family life, either divorce or there's problems there between the parents.
And it definitely does affect to the adolescent. So being mindful when you are having problems in your relationships to focus on how that could possibly be affecting your children and focus on the emotions, speak to them and try and help them process. All their feelings. And the only way you can do that is by talking if a child has a chronic illness like asthma, or is overweight, that can definitely also contribute to their mental health.
So. In a case where you have picked up where your child might have a problem with a self image or their bonded body image or something that they have a chronic problem with. Maybe they have anxiety problems or they have a chronic illness. For instance, with asthma, like I said, or diabetic, it's very helpful to get them to talk to somebody about their feelings so that they can process it.
And find a different way of voicing their emotions and processing different coping techniques. First will help them feel more loved and accepted. Loss is a definite factor in an adolescent. You will know that the one day an adolescent is best friends with a friend and the next day they don't talk to each other.
It's in and out. It's full on, in or full on out with a teenager, they take loss extremely seriously, and unfortunately teenagers see loss directly as rejection, and they feel that they are not good enough. So when your child goes through any type of loss, whether it's a friend or perhaps even a family member or a pet or anything that has a slight link to loss, be mindful to talk to your child about how they can process these feelings of loss.
And that it isn't really. Anything to do with their self-worth. When someone chooses to walk away from them, for instance, or a friendship goes wrong and that they need to be mindful that people come and go in their lives. Um, all the time people come, they teach her a lesson and they might leave. It doesn't mean that you are.
So there's something wrong with you when your friend walks away. For instance, you could say that. A natural disaster. Oh my goodness. This is what we are in at the moment. COVID COVID has definitely affected the mental health of so many youngsters. It feels like they have nothing to look forward to, which is a complaint I hear every single day.
There's nothing to look forward to. I can't see my friends. I can't do anything. It's just boring. All I can do is. You know, stay in my room or whatever. So, you know, it's very important that they find some kind of, um, safety, a feeling of safety, a feeling of belonging and a feeling of, um, looking forward to the future through.
Obviously us as parents, we need to discuss these feelings with them and help them see that this is something that's definitely going to pass. We can't say when we can't put a time limit to the situation that we're in now, but if the children are. I'm constantly reminded that everything passes and that we can still enjoy our lives away.
They are make something special, make a special family time, make sure that you try and differentiate for instance, between how you are in the week versus the weekend. Because a lot of children are feeling that every day feels the same and it's just like a Groundhog day, as they say. Violence is a definite, um, effect has a definite effect on teenage mental health or witnessing any traumatic event.
Now, this is a very sensitive subject because how do we police, what our children see? How do we police? What they watch, how do we police? What games they play on the internet. It's very, very difficult. There is so much violence out there. But because we can't actually physically, um, police them in that sense, or we can do, as parents is talk to our children, talk to them about how they feel about finance, talk to them about.
What's going on in the news, talk to them about the games they play to them about what, what they might have heard. Um, you know, and how violence is not the answer to problems and make sure that they, that they can come to you when, um, they all feeling that something has happened, that they might find, um, could be violent and, um, uh, talk to you about.
Uh, anything really? That's very, very important. Another thing that can really affect teenagers is a pressure of cultural or social expectations. It makes them feel really inadequate when they have such high expectations. A perfect example is for instance, um, in the GCSE here, for instance, the children, aren't under so much pressure to decide whether they're going to do a levels, whether they going to college, what they're going to do in their future, just because.
Somebody says, this is what they have to choose right now. And when they feel inadequate because they can't make that decision or they're unsure, it is really. Debilitating for their self-worth. So one needs to be mindful that your children or our children everybody's children really are constantly trying to process all the output that they are trying to take in from the external environment.
And it's up to us as parents to keep reassuring them that look. If you're not ready now, you don't have to be ready. You only 15, you're only 16 or you're only 13 or whichever age they are. There's enough time to make serious decisions. If you're not ready now there's enough time in the future. As long as you do what you need to do now, that's right.
Which you can control, work hard at school. Keep up to date with your schoolwork. Just try and stay focused on what you're doing. At the moment, the future will reveal itself is what I always say. Stress overload can, um, induce, uh, frequent illnesses and make kids withdraw from friends and family and the usual activities at home.
So if you find that your teenager is withdrawing, Um, and acting unusually, um, quiet staying in their room, not really talking and socializing. Doesn't want to go out their friends with their friends or do things with the family. That is a sure indication that your child is in a complete stress overload and overwhelmed.
And that is when you need to take action. And if I can make a really, um, easy suggestion that is that you do just go and talk. Just talk, just say, is there something you would like me to do to make you feel better? Is there something I can do to help you feel less overwhelmed? You know, it's um, it's the questions that you ask and how you ask the questions.
We can't, um, read minds. Nobody can read anybody's mind, but to encourage your child to talk to you. That is the answer to encourage open communication and trust so that your child can trust that they can talk to you about anything that bothers them. You know, according to the world health organization, suicide is the second leading cause in death between 10 and 24 year olds, which to me is heartbreaking.
When you think that they also many youngsters that feel that they can't carry on. And I see this in my practice with children that have got self-harming, um, thoughts and suicidal thoughts, even. So, you know, it's really important to talk to your child and to identify when you have a feeling in your heart, that your child there's something not right, reach out, find help, and get somebody that your child can trust and talk to and help them learn the different.
Techniques that they can use to build their own resilience. They built their self-worth self-confidence and their self-love. Hi, my name's Fiona. And I'm recording this, um, in respect of. Uh, the need for help for teenagers, uh, mental health. Um, I met Tracy a couple of years ago. Um, when my daughter was really struggling with her mental health following, um, bullying at school, um, Tracy undertook 10 sessions with her, um, uh, therapy.
And I have to say she's absolutely, truly amazing. She is one of the calmest kindness. People. I know, in fact, I think I'd probably say she's almost serene. Um, if I'm counting B and she turned my daughter's life around, she gave her coping strategies ways to manage her anxiety, helped her to rebuild her self esteem, um, and harder into a happy, confident, um, teenager who is now.
Um, after college, um, mentally may strange times of COVID, um, because of the strategies that she's learned from Tracy and because of the help she had, um, she's managing to thrive despite COVID, um, I know the strategies that Tracy has given her. She's also used herself to help friends. And I think that that will be something that will stay with her lifelong.
Um, I'd just like to say thank you, Tracy, because, uh, thanks to you. My daughter is, um, an amazing human being. If you are worried about your teenager's mental health, I would absolutely strongly encourage you to consider. Uh, syrupy for your child. It can make such a difference in their lives.
So as a parent, what do you do when you see that your child isn't coping? It's very important as a parent or a care giver to be aware of what is going on in your child's head. Really your teen's life is very important. And it's really important to understand that a teen's life is a physically, but more emotionally vulnerable than a normal person.
Really. We all have our own levels of being able to cope with external stressors in life. Um, but teenagers seem to feel everything in a complete overload. So something that may not affect you will definitely affect a teenager. Quite severely. So be mindful that just because something doesn't affect you as harshly as a for instance, COVID or a news announcement that for instance, the schools aren't going to be opening and the teenager, uh, might have a huge reaction to that.
Be mindful that just because you are feeling quite normal about it and you can cope don't judge because your child can cope, try and listen and hear where are those reactions coming from? Where are those fears coming from? And that will help them identify where it's coming from. And you can talk about those emotions and they will then be able to calm down.
It's very important to show praise for any efforts that your teenager makes. Like for instance, with the homeschooling, make sure that you point out their good accomplishments and good achievements. When they, for instance, help with the dishes or keep their room tidy or bring their washing down. Or the whole set of mugs that's been lying under their bed, um, growing Moss at the bottom when they eventually do bring it down, just show them how you appreciate that, that eventually actually did bring the mugs down and it will help boost their self esteem.
Spend quality time with your team that is so important, do something they love doing, just because you like getting up in the morning and going for early morning walk doesn't mean they are going to like doing it. So kind do it in the middle of the day when they are more up to a teenagers, seem to. Take five hours to wake up.
So be more conscious that don't think because you enjoy doing something, they are going to do enjoy doing something, try playing X-Box with them, for instance, or try letting them do your hair. If you have a daughter or do your makeup with this crazy eyeliner flick or whatever it is, let them have some fun with you because that is where bonding is.
Bolt. Remember to show your teenager love and affection. Teenagers might be a bit embarrassed if you hug and kiss them in front of their friends. So don't necessarily do this in front of them, but when you alone, then please. Really mindful that this is when you have your golden time where you could actually give him a hug and have a really close talk to them about their day, what happened in their day and how are they doing really?
How are they doing? So spend each day trying to encourage them to talk about their feelings with you. And listen, when they talk to you, put your phone down, sit, listen, face them and be present. Show up at their sports stays, show up at the parents evening and help them find solutions to problems. Don't be judgmental, even if you're unhappy with something that they've done.
Try and wait until you've calmed down and don't shout be kind and try and show some understanding as they might not feel like they can turn and talk to you if you overreact in certain situations. So whenever a problem arises, deal with it paid on rather than letting it build up. But at the same time, wait until you feel calm.
It's important that you have a support system. So turn to friends and family, or even your GP, or get help from a therapist. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, I really specialize in treating teenagers with mental health issues. So I encourage you. If you are worried. Get in touch. Let's just have a conversation.
I can advise you over the phone and we can go from there. It's important to also of course, take notes of your child's eating habits. Oh my goodness. My daughter is a vegetarian and she doesn't like vegetables, so I rarely have to encourage her to try and eat a healthy diet. So what, what your child eats?
Make sure they have fresh fruit vegetables. Protein and they, they don't eat too much sugar because sugar is really unhealthy for anyone really not only teenagers then of course, sleep. Sleep is vital. If you have a teenager, I strongly suggest to take their mobile phone away at night, ask them to put it in the passage.
Or switch it off and put it in your room or downstairs or wherever they can't have it so that they do get sleep. Because from my own experience, those phones never stop vibrating. I don't know. It doesn't seem like any teenager sleep anymore. So. Is very advisable to have some type of structure where you do have time away from your phone as a team.
And then. A very sensitive subject is make sure that alcohol and drugs are out of the picture. If you all worried that your teenager is involved with drug abuse or alcohol, then there is a lot of help out there. And I'm going to add some links in the notes for you, if you have, um, uh, any type of problem like this.
So, um, I'm also going to be putting out a blog this week, which is specifically focused on teenage and drug abuse. So keep your eye open for that. And I will leave that link in the notes as well.
I hope you enjoyed listening and that you will try not to worry too much about your teenager, and I'm going to leave you with this lovely quote. You will teach them to dream, but they will not dream your dream. You will teach him to live, but they will not live your life. Nevertheless, in the flight, in every life, in every dream, the print of the way you taught them will remain.