EP031: 9 Cardinal Rules For Life

Description

The idea behind coming up with the 8 cardinal rules for life came from an info graphic I found and posted on my Facebook fan page wall. Till this day, the info graphic had over 109 shares and 54 likes likes which blew my mind!

In coming up with today’s podcast, I thought that I can expand on the quote and talk about it through my own lens with a few compelling examples and reasons why these rules do make sense and should be applied.

However, the original info graphic was only 7 cardinal rules but the last two rules are my own because I learned something very important while attending the Tony Robbins seminar a few weeks ago and it is worth talking about.

I hope you like the “9 Cardinal Rules For Life” podcast. I would love your feedback below!

1. Make peace with your past so it won’t disturb your present.

I can resonate with this one myself — I often talk about the past in my podcasts but it’s time to let all of that go.
Emotional baggage is real — fill your closet full of old cloth and you won’t have room for new cloth. Our hearts are our closets and the emotions are the cloth we put into them.
For a lot of us, our hearts are full of negative emotions and baggage that we carry everywhere. This is why we’re not as happy or as successful as we want to become.
Emotional blocks can be found in all areas of our lives – relationships, careers, family and everything in between.
Don’t cling to negative feelings — anger is nothing more than an outward sign of hurt, fear, guilt or frustration.
Making peace with your past is never easy or simple but it is possible but only if you’re intentional about removing baggage from your heart that no longer belongs there.

2. What other people think of you is none of your business.

How people perceive you reveals more about them than it does about you.
Everyone grows up through a different lens and perspective of how life is and how it should be.
People will judge you, talk about you and project their stuff on you. It is what it is.
Seeking validation is one way for others to judge you because a confident, self-assured person doesn’t need validation.
Sometimes we invite others to judge us based on how we act around them because there is an old saying “tell me who you spend your time with and I’ll tell you who you’re”
While most of the time, like I said before — everyone lives life through their own unique lens.
Regardless, “This too shall pass.”

3. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.

There is a great quote by Regina Brett — regina says “If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” — This is why I believe that it’s very important to feel grateful — you have problems because you’re living life. I feel sorry for the man or woman who doesn’t have problems.
We need to make peace with the present so that it won’t screw up the past.
It takes time to heal
It takes time to recover
It takes time to reconnect and recharge
Give yourself time and don’t beat yourself up — its all a process.
I’ve been through it many times and every struggle I had in life was for a reason.
What’s that old saying? “f it doesn’t kills you, it will make you stronger?”

4. No one is in charge of your happiness. Except you.

This one is huge — it really is. Trust me!
No person or material possession will ever make us happy. Your partner in life is not responsible for your happiness or for your boredom.
I believe that success in all walks of all comes from the inside out — if this statement is true, then how come we always blame others for our downfalls and unhappiness?
I guess it is a lot easier to blame and point fingers but a lot harder to sit quietly and point the finger at our own selves.
I always say that business is simple but people are complicated. Now, I may also add that life is simple but we’re complicated.
We really are — humans have evolved a whole lot but we have not reached our full human potential.
The next time you’re around animals or if you have a dog – notice how he shakes himself off after a conflict or a situation that is tense — animals are the only creatures that shake off negativity.
Humans on the other hand carry negative emotions and the thoughts in our mind the entire day and sometimes for our entire lives.
Is it necessary? In some way, our dogs are more superior than we’re.
I guess I am trying to make the point that no one is in charge of our happiness, except for our own selves.

5. Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

Once again, everyone views life through a different lens. No one grew up the exact same way as you did.
In fact, I will go so far as saying that we’re all born unique, our brains are wired completely different from one another and everyone has a unique personality with separate likes, dislikes and life ambitions.
So knowing this – how can you compare your life to someone else or judge yourself against them?
Some people are passive spectators of life, while others are active and fully in charge of their destiny.
Instead of comparing yourself to others – look really inward and self reflect on why you’re where you’re right now — is it because of neglect or because of things completely out of your control?
The man who we call a bum on the street has a story – he has a soul just like you do and a story just like you do as well. You have no idea how he got there or what his circumstances were prior to that event. He may be begging for food but his journey is something you will never know about.

6. Stop thinking too much, It’s alright not to know the answers; they will come to you when you least expect it.

I get most of my answers when I plan for the answers to come to me. I actually make time to gain clarity.
Every week, I plan my week.
Once a month I think about the prior month and every quarter, I think about the last quarter that just ended.
From time-to-time, I sit to think with a set of questions I already know I will ask myself.
When I am done, this provides me with all the clarity I need. All of the sudden, I feel better and I stop thinking too much.

7. Smile. You don’t own all the problems in the world.

You really don’t — every day you’re awake, that is another chance to be happy and smile out of bed.
Seriously — what is there not to like about sleeping at night and waking up every morning for another chance at greatness?
One great way to sleep happy and wake up happy is to read something positive 1 hour before bed and then sleep right away.
To start the morning off right — read something positive again and then start your day.
You don’t have to constantly smile all day – that would be weird but you’re alive and you have your health – isn’t that enough reason to smile and be happy?
You don’t own all the problems in the world — control what you can in your own life and leave everything else deal with itself.

8. A good life constitutes good emotions.

After reviewing all of my notes from the Tony Robbins seminar, I remembered him talking about emotions and how our quality of life determines what kind of emotions we’re having.
As an example — when you buy a Porsche, the Porsche is not what you’re buying – instead, you’re buying the Porsche because of the emotions it gives you.
Coincidentally — I actually had a Porsche – it was a 2007 GT3 – for those familiar – it was 415 horse power, rear wheel drive with an 8500 RPM deadline — boy did that thing scream!
I often took it to the racetrack and to this day, I miss it very much. When my business fell apart many years ago, I had to sell it but I miss the emotions I felt when driving that car.
While a car is one thing that brings good emotions — other things that bring good emotions in our life are progress, contribution and growth — at least this does for me.
When I am seeing progress in my business, not only do I become excited but the excitement leads to feeling fulfilled. The feelings of fulfillment allows me to contribute because inside, I feel fuller and when I feel fuller, I can give more.
Why do we go to amusement parks? To feel good emotions. When we come back home – its back to where we were once again — feeling dreary and bored.
However, in order to keep up the good emotions, I am constantly seeking progress in my life, contributing to society and growing as much as I can.
These are long-term solutions — short term solutions are expensive cars, toys and vacations. Those don’t last too long.

9. Never neglect yourself for others.

I know I mentioned contribution in #8 but in explaining this one, I don’t want to seem like I am contradicting myself.
As you may, I mentioned that when I give myself enough, I become filled up and then I contribute which makes me feel even better and happier, therefore, smiling becomes easier and more natural –you can’t fake a smile, no matter how hard.
As you may know — I was sick all last week — I couldn’t give anymore because it was time for me to heal and repair.
Last week was all mine and I wanted to make sure I was health – this is the reason why I missed last weeks episode.
In trying to help others, we often neglect our own selves and this is never a good solution — the better solution is win-win and not lose-win as Stephen Covey said in his book “the 7 habits of highly successful people”
In the last 6 months, I’ve gone really overboard with podcasts — don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret doing these, in fact, because I missed last week, I really missed doing it and couldn’t wait to get behind the mic again.
I guess the point I am trying to make is, make sure the cup is full before you let others drink out of it and never let others drink the whole cup. Once it is depleted, unlike water, emotional and physical energy does not come as easily as water does from a faucet.

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