Reflecting on the day host Sondra Doty and her husband Nick got married they aren't sure they realized the weight of that phrase in their vows,.... "in sickness and in health." In episode 18: In Sickness and In Health, Sondra and her husband have an open conversation on how they have indeed lived out this phrase a good portions of their 15 years together.
If you've listed to the podcast long enough, you know some of the health challenges Sondra has worked through most of her life. Celiac Disease, Epstein-Barr Virus, Chronic Fatigue, anemia, and more. Nick has had some health challenges, as well. He was born with a hearing condition and had to have several reconstructive ear surgeries starting at a young age. He's dealt with different periods of hearing loss throughout his life. He realized with the nudge of his wife last year that it was time to get more help with his hearing again, and get hearing aids.
So, as these two have walked together through some great health challenges, they wanted to share their journey of discovery and support. What does being a supportive partner and commitment really look like when you're in a relationship with someone struggling with sickness or a chronic health issue? For Nick, the supportive part had grown throughout the years, though he was personally walking through his own stages of grief while watching his wife struggle. They both realized playing the supporting role kind of changes hands once in a while-or at least it should; and that it isn't about making your partner happy but going alongside them on the journey as a team.
Everyday, you make a choice how you will respond to circumstances. Somedays you might be the encourager and somedays your partner might be the realist and others the roles are reversed. As long as you're walking it together-not separately- that's the important part. At times, Sondra realized she was looking to Nick for her everything. She needed to seek outside help to process the pain, hurt and emotional weight of what walking through chronic illness was doing to her. She also had to realize Nick was going through this, too. Learning how to forgive one another-when they didn't respond well to each other-was a big learning tool.
The two learned to embrace their weakness and character flaws. Together they have had many pastors, friends and family walk through this set of trials with them. They will never forget the day a pastor shared with them, "There are people with illness and conditions in the world that might never find out why or what's causing it. ..." It was hard for them to accept and hear they might never find answers or resolve. They both were working/searching so hard to find answers to Sondra's health issues.
Eventually, they did find an answer when it was uncovered Sondra had Celiac Disease, but it wasn't they end of the story. There have still been years of other health challenges not only with them, but with their two boys. Just within the last few month there has been so much HOPE, because they got more answers and more whys have come to a close.
Don't live this life alone in chronic health issues! Find a community of support that can help bring you hope, even as you're searching and perhaps not finding answers.
Resources:
Northland Celiac Group: Support group which meets quarterly in the Twin Cities. Group usually takes on different topics for meeting and often brings in experts.
http://www.twincitiesrock.org/
Find Me Gluten Free App:
https://www.findmeglutenfree.com/
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