My brother I grew up on the Gold Coast, and we spent a lot of time crabbing on the weekends. We’d go out early in the morning, just before sunrise and we’d get back at sunset. On a good day, we’d catch dozens of mud crabs.
Once caught we’d place them in a large bucket, well actually it was more like a big plastic rubbish bin, with two sturdy handles on either side for ease of getting it out of the boat.
Lid Not Required What was interesting is we never bothered placing a lid on the bucket because our parents taught us that the crabs would never get out because as soon as one tried to escape, the other crabs would quickly grab hold of it and pull it back into the bucket with the rest of the crabs.
I witnessed this time and time again, and it never ceased to amaze me. Instead of helping and supporting each other to escape, the crabs would do whatever it took to keep them in the bucket.
Negative Friends Now I know I’m talking about crabs, and they don’t have the intellect or understanding about co-operation as human beings do, but I think negative friends in our lives are just like mud crabs.
They always want to pull you back into the life bucket of mediocrity.
For example, you’re thinking about starting your own business, and they will tell you all the reason why you shouldn’t and why it’s a bad idea.
• You have no experience • You don’t have any business skills, and even if you did go off and do some short courses in small business, they would tell you theory doesn’t count. • You’re not smart enough • You’re not from a family with a business background
And the list would go on. They would also tell you all the reasons why you should stay in your safe job.
Nothing Positive The fact is negative friends never have a positive thing to say, and I think they talk this way for two reasons:
1. They could never see themselves being successful, and since you are no better than them, there’s no possible way you can succeed 2. They are scared that you will make it and they get left behind.
Negative friends will put a negative spin on everything you do. So you may have no intention of starting your own business, but what about other areas of your life.
You may want to lose weight, eat better and get healthier or give up smoking. Negative friends will say you can’t do it, and they will try to sabotage your efforts when the chance arises. They’ll turn up with pizza, deliberately interfere with your exercise schedule or they’ll light up a cigarette and tease you with it.
Negative friends also talk behind your back. And you know this is true because they talk about other people when they're with you. They are troublemakers.
Constant Drama Negative friends also have constant drama in their lives. There’s never any peace, and they always try to drag you into their mess. Honestly, you do not need this toxic energy in your life, and if you continue to hang with negative people, no one positive will want to be around you. They will avoid you at all costs because they know what happens if they stay in your presence too long.
Negative People Cause Brain Damage I was reading a blog by Dr Isaiah Hankel, and he wrote that negative people cause brain damage.
“Listening to a negative person for 30-minutes peels away neurons in your hippocampus, the part of your brain that’s responsible for problem-solving”.
So think about it, have you ever been with a negative friend and walked away feeling inspired and having more mental energy? I don’t think so.
You’ve probably heard the saying that you become like the five people you associate with the most, so if this is true, you will become more negative if you let a negative person into your circle of five.
I'm Not Negative I'm Honest I know some negative friends will tell you that they’re not negative; they are honest and blunt. No…they’re negative.
Here are two simple questions to ask yourself, it's sort of like a 2-Question Negative Friend Test.
1. Do you smile and look forward to the conversation when you meet them? 2. When you leave their presence are you feeling better or worse from the encounter.
They say you can’t pick your family, which is true, but you can pick your friends and my advice today is to choose wisely and only spend time with friends that are uplifting and inspiring.
Repel Negative With Positive If you do this you will attract more positive people in your life and here’s the best thing; negative friends will stay away in droves because they don’t like being around positive people.
If you have any questions from this episode please email me at tf@tysonfranklin.com
It's No Secret Business Conference On the 17th and 18th of August 2018. I will be holding a 2-Day It's No Secret Business Conference in Cairns and this year's theme is 'Communication, Persuasion and Influence'. My Keynote Speaker is David M Frees from Pennsylvania, who was also my guest on Podcast Episode 2. Bookings are NOW OPEN and for more details please visit my EVENTS page. (Limited to 50 attendees)
FREE DOWNLOADS:
First 16 Pages of My Book – It’s No Secret There’s Money in Small Business.
12 Secrets to Get More People Through Your Front Door.
