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Welcome, blue ballers, to the beautiful advancing tide of ritual death we know as SEPTEMBER. And with that tide of death, what else can you expect but the return of JAKE from the literary prison to which he was banished all those months ago?

The boys are back together and the cock jokes prove it as JAKE and TREY recap the end of the Hudson River Derby, Villa injury concerns, and meticulously evaluate all thirty one stadium location options. Then: a collective gulp and a precap for a midweek SKC confrontation. Either you're just happy to see us, or else you've got Blue Balls.