It Can Be Loney at the Top - But C-Suite Coaching Cards Can Help
Join C-Suite Coach, Kim Randall and our very own Darren Smith, as they talk about support for C-Suite (executive-level managers). Face it, sometimes it gets lonely at the top, especially when everyone is rushing to you for support. Explore Kim's passion for delving into the human side of leaders, helping them to connect with who they are as a person as well as a leader. If you're a leader or want to offer support, make sure to check out this podcast.
Click the image above to watch the episode on YouTube!
You Can Read the Full C-Suite Transcript Below:
Darren A. Smith:
Hello. You're at a podcast. Welcome to the world's stickiest learning. We're with Kim Randall and also Pudding who you're stroking there.
Kim-Adele Randall:
I am to try and get him to not join in. I think he might be the more vocal of the two of us this morning.
Darren A. Smith:
It's probably true. That's probably true. The title of our podcast is where Do C-Suites go to for support now? I'm joined by Kim, who is a C-Suite coach. Is that right?
Kim-Adele Randall:
It is.
Darren A. Smith:
OK, now in the nicest possible way. Kim, I'm going to ask you, why should we listen to you about this?
Kim-Adele Randall:
Great question, Darren. So I guess for me, I started off as in C-Suite and was there for a number of years. And then when I became a mum, I decided that I could have a bigger impact by coaching of the C-Suite leaders. Having been there and realised that it might be lonely at the top, but it's certainly not quiet. Everyone is looking to you for the answer. Everyone expects you to always be on your game. People forget that our cease suite leaders are people 1st and leaders second and we are all perfectly imperfect. We have things that go wrong in our lives. We don't always know the answer.
Darren A. Smith:
True.
Kim-Adele Randall:
We're not always feeling like we're firing on all cylinders and so if we can, when we understand the human side of that C-Suite, that was one of my passions as part of my purpose, which is how do we help those C-Suite leaders connect with who they are as a person as well as who they are as a leader and give them that support? Because no human being in the world can survive without support for long. And it's this way you think the phrase comes from lonely at the top. I think so, yeah. Because when you get to the top, you both from. From my own experience and also from, you know, coaching at hundreds of other C-Suite leaders, one of the things that is so common throughout is we all fear becoming irrelevant.
Kim-Adele Randall:
And when you get to the very top, you know that everybody wants your job. You're doing one of you, so there's nowhere to go. So actually all you are is hanging on for dear life until somebody comes to step into those shoes and that is that plays in, in their head. It's that, you know, am I still adding value? Am I still relevant? Am I still doing stuff? Cause where do you go for your help? You can't. If you have those moments of doubt, we all have them. You know, in Process syndrome hits us all at some point in our life, you kind of go well, where, where, where do I go?
Darren A. Smith:
True. True again.
Kim-Adele Randall:
So I'm having this moment of doubt and I can't go to my direct reports because they're one looking to me for support and equally looking for any element of weakness so that they might be able to take and I can't go to the board because they might doubt my confidence or credibility and therefore you know that might have ramifications. So where do I go in those moments? Where I need to get out of my own head and we all know that we all have blind spots for the reason we're blind to them.
Kim-Adele Randall:
So no amount of looking at ourselves in the mirror is going to highlight those blind spots. What we need is a sometimes a sounding board, sometimes a trusted advisor, sometimes just a safe space where I don't know if you've ever had these moments, Darren, where you've been saying something in your head for a long time. So plausible, it's so likely to be real.
Darren A. Smith:
Yes.
Kim-Adele Randall:
And then you say it out loud to another human being, and at that point you go. So can I don't help you or I've just heard from myself how ridiculous that is But you need that space to be able to do it, cause saying it's yourself in the mirror still sounds plausible.
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Darren A. Smith:
Alright, try very trick. When we talked to companies about training our office and talking to these C-Suite type people, then we might say to them and what about for you and they're like, what do you mean, what about support for you though? No, no, no. Let's do it for our people. Don't you need something as well? No. Why is that? And I think it is that fear. They're not sure that they want to show their underbelly. Yeah.
Kim-Adele Randall:
Yeah, because it takes courage to show vulnerability and there is that line. It's like you know, how do you show vulnerability without losing credibility? There's a balance and it's helping them find that balance and that confident balance that says, OK, this is OK because actually when we inadvertently when we say I don't need any help myself that you all need help. We don't have the impact we expected to have, so our impact is we're trying to be magnanimous.
Darren A. Smith:
Yeah.
Kim-Adele Randall:
We're trying to say, like, you know, I'll give it to you that because I want to be supportive.
Darren A. Smith:
Yes, yes.
Kim-Adele Randall:
What instead comes across is I don't need it, but you not do, which is the exact opposite of what our intention is, and I think for me, that's one of the big things I talked to see sweet about which is impact versus intention. Their intention is usually really positive, but very often how they're delivering it. They're impact they're having is so misaligned and that's when you see people starting to really question whether or not the values are really there, whether or not there's as a a disconnect, which in a world where we are constantly battling how we win, attract and retain top talent. The last thing you want is a misalignment between your intention and your impact.
Darren A. Smith:
Absolutely. I like that you and I talked about it in our prep and it's impacts an intention. Can you give us an example that my brain that to life for us, something real life where you've either experienced it or seen it in someone your coaching?
Kim-Adele Randall:
Yeah. Yes.
Darren A. Smith:
Because I really like that impact and intention. Things. Oh, I got that.
Kim-Adele Randall:
Yeah. So I was.
Darren A. Smith:
OK.
Kim-Adele Randall:
I was doing coaching for an entire season suite for one organisation, so individual coaching it had been driven by the CEO and when I was talking to their direct reports they were like ohh if you know doctorial he can't tell him anything. You've not got this, and so if you given him that feedback and there were lots of shaking heads looking surprised like no Kim and that was like, why not? Well, I don't think I know we couldn't do that. We couldn't possibly do that was like, OK, but he's instigated this program, so he's doing it's part of his development. He's brought me in.
Kim-Adele Randall:
I just as well as other coaching. I do stakeholder driven coaching where you get the stakeholders, you get them to give the feedback as well. So yeah, he's driven this to say he wants the feedback when we don't think he really does so. And they said, well, could you give him the feedback? That's fine.
Darren A. Smith:
Virgin volunteer.
Kim-Adele Randall:
Absolutely I can. And I will. That's part of my job, I said. But let me play out for you. What will happen? I give him the feedback that this is how you all feel. He comes out to talk to you about that and you will go. I don't know what she was on that day. I didn't say that must have been somebody else as it how likely is he to really believe that this is a challenge, that he has an opportunity to overcome and they were like it's fair point.
Kim-Adele Randall:
But could you give it him anyway? So I went into to talk to him. Right. Others giving them the feedback and he was like no, definitely not. And I said, OK, let me let me start from a different place because the first thing that we do when we're given feedback is we defend what we were trying to achieve.
Darren A. Smith:
Could.
Kim-Adele Randall:
So he's trying to be supportive, to be open minded to the areas that he needs to develop. I said so, so I shared this with him. I said let's start with what I think is your intention. I think you're trying to be an open minded leader. I think you're trying to create a culture where need back as part of the DNA where it's the positive because everything is about moving you forward. It's allowing you to be the best that you can be. It's shining that light on your blind spots to allow you to see them.
Darren A. Smith:
Nice, that's.
Kim-Adele Randall:
And therefore respond to them, would I be correct? And it was like absolutely came one brilliant. So that's great. That's what you're trying to be. That's your intention. That is what you were putting. You think you're putting out into the world?
Darren A. Smith:
Yeah.
Kim-Adele Randall:
Can I now share with you the impact you're having? Because while that's what you're trying to do, the impact you're having is people are scared to come and talk to you.
They don't think you will listen to the feedback they are afraid of making a mistake.
And that's the culture that they are now permeating throughout the organisation.
Kim-Adele Randall:
