So, we came in the studio today and producer is on vacation for the end of the year. Whole uh frog thing. He goes home to his family. Good for him.

And we were like, we should record an episode and we can do this by ourselves. We don't even need producer. And well, and we we we fell uh flat on our faces. Okay.

So, we came in the studio. Uh it was 48° which is a little a little bit chilly and uh nothing nothing was working. >> Yeah. And even now I don't know if anything is working because none of the wires were working.

Like we plugged everything in and we're like okay this isn't working. And then we tried some different wires. We tried a whole different system, a different setup and it didn't also didn't work. And um >> so we we're really we're trying not to complain because we want we know we're like hey we're going to be at a podcast convention.

We're going to be speaking we're have all these new people who coming in. [clears throat] They're listening. That's wonderful. And so we're like oh let's you know put out some episodes and you know late in the year and say hi to everybody.

And this is this isn't the best foot forward is what I'm saying. >> No it is it is not. And we're a minute in and Okay. Okay.

So, we're trying not to be negative and uh our producer is on vacation and the studio I didn't know that he he comes in and he preheats the studio. I didn't know that that was something that he did. I thought that the studio was always just kind of nice and warm and toasty, but um it's it's not. And so, that's something that we learned today.

And we also learned Rufus came in and immediately I think he got like a step into the studio and he just turned and and walked away and he said something like not on my watch which doesn't even make sense. So it's just me, Natty Bumper Car and Alawishious is here too. Yeah. Uh luckily as a pig uh I am immune to cold and that's not true.

I'm actually I listen I'm a I am a pig. I have pink skin and it's I feel cold constantly. I don't know what the pink had to do with anything. I'm just I can see my pig breath and it everything hurts.

Like I I sat down on the chair and I was like it's this chair is harder than it usually is. >> Yeah. >> And uh Yeah. I sat on the couch and um it actually it crinkled like it was frozen or something.

Um, which I don't I hope it's I don't know why it would be. It would have to be have been wet to be frozen and then that's concerning to me as well. Like maybe there's a leak in here or something. Um, but you know what?

It's okay. Who cares? We got we got this thing working and there's so far there's no feedback and and and it seems like we're having it. Let's so let's you know what?

Let's have a podcast. Let's forget the last three minutes of our lives. Hey Alawishious JPG, how are you doing? It's so great to talk to you.

>> Uh yeah, this is strange. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. It's usually we got a producer, we got the uh the Roffus and you know uh I actually do you remember it was a few episodes ago Rufus was talking about when he was a kid and he they used to have a a tomato soup can and they would put uh they would record the episode that way. So, I went into the pantry when you couldn't get the equipment working and I was looking I was actually looking for tomato soup can because I was how desperate I was and I was just like we're I'm going to make this work.

I'm going to figure this out. If Rufus T Rufus can figure out how to make a podcast with a uh a tomato soup can, then I I think I can do this. I think I can figure it out. There was There was no tomato soup.

There was no soup at all. There was some uh uh crackers uh that were open and very stale. And there was uh a sleeve of some sort of cookie that looked like an Oreo but was not an Oreo. I think uh I don't know, some sort of off-brand.

And I tried one and my tongue um I can't feel my tongue right now. Is that strange? Is that something that's supposed to happen when you eat a cookie? Nothing.

I mean, I've never had it before, but maybe that's a new thing. I don't know. No. Oh no.

Oh no. I just broke the co cordinal cordinal cardinal rule of podcast. I yawned into the microphone. How are people going to come to this mic this podcast and they're going to say, "Oh, I should be listening to this.

This is something I should be enjoying." And then the host starts yawning. >> Oh, man. What a disaster. >> No, it's good.

Natty, uh, hold on. I just got a phone call. Got a voice message here. I think it's actually from Roffus.

So, I'm gonna see if I can get it up to the microphone to see if we can get it to play. I just to see. I don't know what it's I don't know what it is, but we're kind of floundering here. Hey, Alawish.

This is Roffus. Roffus. It's very cold outside there. I did not want to partake in being part of a podcast today.

All right. So, I came back inside and I Oh, >> so far it's just him saying exactly what just happened, which is perfect. This is good. This is This is taking the podcast in a whole new direction.

Uh, press play. Press play. >> Well, WANTED YOU TO KNOW that uh uh the there's no soup out in the pantry out there. Uh, I brought it all inside.

And there also there's some there's some cookies out there. I do not recommend uh eating them that that's not going to be good for you. I just you don't need to know a lot about the cookies. But all I'm going to tell you is uh refrain if you can from eating them.

They are not for you. All right. >> All right. >> Now, another thing uh Okay.

So, a little bit of the cookie mystery is now solved. Uh, don't know what I ate. Don't know when I'm going to be able to feel my tongue. Cool.

Um, I guess the lesson there is don't just go eating random cookies cuz you don't know what kind of cookie it is or what it's going to do to your tongue. Perfect. So, now we've learned. Good.

So, now the podcast has a good learning lesson to it. But also this this message by Rufus, it just seems to keep going. But I mean again, we don't have anything to to talk. So let's I guess we keep going and seeing what happens that yes, I think that that is really it at this point.

I don't want to say that Rufus is saving the podcast, but uh and it kind of feels like he is a little bit. So I guess go ahead and uh and press play. >> Another thing. And I said another thing.

So that'd be what another one other thing uh that I wanted to discuss was vacation time. Now Alawishas, I know you're not in charge of the schedule and whatnot, but it just feels like uh producers going to if he's leaving for the last two, three weeks of the year, that's a long time for us, especially going into the the new year. We we GOT TO BE RECORDING our whole like best of and our whole wrapped up session, you know, like all the there's like things that all the the people do at the end of the year. So, I think we should probably talk to whoever it is who does the scheduling and and figure out if we can uh how we can better uh address this and you know, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about.

Hold on. I'm trying to remember. >> Okay, Natty. Uh, I don't know if that's you thing or who does do we even do we do scheduling?

Is there a calendar or I think from what I understand we just kind of leave and appear whenever we do. I don't know. >> Um, yeah. So, I'll I'll let you handle that.

But, uh, I'm looking at the message, you know, you can see how long it goes. >> Yep. >> We're not even halfway through. So, uh, do you still want to keep going or >> Yeah.

No, no. I mean, I I I feel like maybe at some point we're going to cut it off, but uh he's really he's really rambling right now. He's really going. It's good.

So, um maybe he's going to tell us more about the cookies. I don't know, but sure. Let's let's keep seeing what Rufus is about. So, let's see here.

When I was trying to think about, I turned on the faucet inside the house on the I turned on the the little spigot in here and I turned on the hot and little ice cubes, little ice sickles, ice sickles came out the uh the the the the spout. So, it's it's pretty chilly in here as well. So, I don't know if if uh producer he normally does he control all the the temperatures, all the heat throughout the entire headquarters because it's I'm I'm chilly in here. I came out there chilly.

I came back in here chilly. So, I'm trying I want to figure out how to not be quite so uh chilly. >> Yeah, Natty. I think probably producer does handle all that cuz he just anything technical or electrical I just kind of say like you know what you're doing.

>> So is it possible that he just left and didn't turn the heat on because that >> seems like maybe a real misstep. I uh um you know what hold on a second. I just got a message. This is great.

Good timing. I just got a message from producer. So hold off on the Roffus thing. Let's see what uh producer has to say.

One second. >> Yeah. Hello Nat producer. Sorry I'm on my vacation having a wonderful time and I remembered the couple of things the very important things that I tell you.

Uh do to see there in the studio the the heat and the heat is not on. So don't I wouldn't even bother trying to record when it gets so cold the uh the wires they tend to break. So just you know take a little vacation whatever like I am. It's great.

Uh it's going to be cold in studio. Uh, and also if you go in the studio, do not go in the pantry and eat the cookies. I know they look delicious, but they are frog cookies. Very specific.

Uh, I love them, but they're not for consumption for uh you or Roffus or certainly not Eloishes. Okay, so do not let alicas get into the cookies. >> Hold on. Pause that.

So they this producers just got cookies around not labeled or nothing that are bad for me. Okay. Well, this is good to know. Good to know, producer, wherever you are.

Keep playing the message. I want to hear more. >> Um, also, if you're looking for soup and if you're in the the pantry in the studio, there's no soup. Um, um, um, Lurus has taken all his soup into his room.

And he says any soup that comes into this place goes into his room. So, if you do want soup, distract him and then go get some soup. He's in his room. Okay.

Um, I think that's all I've Oh, wait. Hold on a second here. I'm getting a message. I'm getting a call from from Rufus.

One second. Hold on there. >> Okay. Now, okay.

Now, producer is getting a call from Roffus. Okay. I guess hopefully he'll figure out how to play. Can we hear that?

>> Yeah. Uh, listen up, producer. Uh, make sure you keep it between you and I about the soup being in my room because I I don't I had a situation where I uh, you know, they ate all my soup and then I didn't have nothing to eat and so there's no soup. And so I I what I did uh, I I brought it into my room here and so I got my little soup shelf over there in the corner.

So just please uh have a wonderful vacation. The everything is perfect here. Just do not let them know uh them natty and eloicious about my soup. All right.

Talk to your new year. Happy baby time. Whatever. >> Natty didn't hear that.

Uh let me Anyway, um have a great time. Okay, I'm going to just hang up now because I don't I don't know. This message has been too long. I'm uncomfortable.

I'm very uncomfortable. >> So, let me get this straight. Roffus calls me. Producer calls you.

Roffus calls producer. This is very strange. And we still don't have heat. We still don't have wires, but we do have See that the we still have poison cookies.

So, this is this is working out well. This is, you know, I think we should have just listened and not come in here and not try to record a podcast. Okay. We should just come in.

When producers here, evidently he's in charge. It's his world. We're just hopping in it. >> Yeah.

No, I I usually I would not agree with you. I would be like, "No, we figured it out. We got it done. We You know, but uh we did not.

We failed and this is miserable and oh well." The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https/www.patreon.com/natty.

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The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T.

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