“Gramps” is an episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, the show introduces a new character, Gramps, who adds a new layer of humor and craziness to the already lively town. Gramps, with his wild stories and unique personality, quickly becomes a fan favorite.
The episode also features the return of familiar characters such as Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, and the always reliable Producer. As they all come together, the town of Coffee-Can Alley becomes a hub of comedic chaos as they engage in a series of improvised sketches and scenes. From witty banter to off-the-wall jokes, this episode is sure to have you in stitches. The Bumperpodcast is a celebration of the unexpected, where anything can happen and no two episodes are ever the same.
(I have started using AI to write my show descriptions. They are marvelous!)
We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Email us at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
Another story about saving baby animals!
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Gramps 0:05
bother. I ain’t got time for nothing. I checked my calendar and schedule is awful up. I don’t have any, any even I don’t even I don’t. I don’t have even any time to even think about doing anything. And hey, girl, Hello,
Natty Bumpercar 0:28
how you doing? What’s
going on? What do you do?
Gramps 0:31
I saw this telephone set up and I was trying to make a phone call to the doctor, because I have to have to go to the doctor. Yeah, well, oh, you have to go to
Natty Bumpercar 0:43
the doctor. Well, that seems like something that we should figure out. Definitely. But we’re not going to do it with that stuff. Because that’s the equipment that we use for the podcast here at
Gramps 0:58
lot is called please hand corner.
Anyway, the kind of headquarters is it?
What are you doing here that you’re like, Oh, I flew. You know, you were raised to be high flow. But looking at your own. I got all my quick man.
Y’all got a headquarters.
I don’t even understand half the words that you even say. What’s up?
Like, toe cat? Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar 1:30
Yeah, so we I don’t know. We started calling it headquarters a long time ago, when we were you know, we’re in coffee. Ken alley here and the adjusters superhero team. The zooper Yeah, the superhero team. They have their headquarters and and so they used to a long time ago actually hanging out here and so I guess now that I think about it, they must have named it headquarters and we just kind of moved in. And as far as Bobcat it’s a podcast, podcast podcast. Oh, it’s just like an old radio show basically kind of year you’re talking to people and you have a show and you talk and you say things and say what kind of thing are you saying?
Gramps 2:14
Are you giving out your your banking information your social security number or recipes? You got some good like maybe for cornbread biscuits? Or are you tired like doing reviews? Like you know, I want cedar in my fire and not pine because Pon
Aloysius J. Pig 2:37
a cramps? What’s going on? What are you doing it? I never seen you in the podcast studio. Pig. Sherry is little ham himself. Yeah. Oh, yes. coming in and talking and talking pig again. Yeah. Good to see you. Yeah, anyway, sorry that I had Bumpercar I’m gonna probably just leave you guys to this today. But there’s a little bug going around the house. So if anybody cook a
Gramps 3:09
cockroach,
Aloysius J. Pig 3:10
no, not like a kaka wrote? Like a upper respiratory sickness. You know, it’s a little bit. Everybody’s a little gunked up right now. So I just want you to watch out for it. Wash your hands. You should probably put a mask on. Oh, look those masks at all? Yes, of course. Cramps of course. But you should be should just take care. Okay. Okay. I’m out. Go back to your star. Yeah.
Gramps 3:37
Back to the star.
Aloysius J. Pig 3:39
One Gramps. Good one. Thanks.
Gramps 3:41
Oh, Natty I don’t know why you hang out with that little man with me. He’s fun everything but he’s a pig. You know, you cannot Yeah, you should like oh, he’s my best friend and he’s a beast pig. You know are people people talk is all I’m saying. You can’t go into town and people are like, Oh, I wonder if he’s gonna issue Granger gonna bring that pig out. I’m like, I don’t I can’t control him. He’s up there in his headquarters, you know, loop de loop
Rufus T. Rufus 4:14
raps what’s going on? It’s me. Rufus tearoom. The lawyer you want to stay now I heard you say looped in with somebody here. Let’s act in a little loop. delu that seems a little loop to Lou to you. Because you know what happens if anyone isn’t familiar loopty loop is the term around here and it’s in the contract course that I drew up because I am a lawyer that states and definitive and to that. If you live too low, then you’re out of the show. Basically Bumpercar was looped to glue at some point and he no longer had control of his faculties we sell say and I had to turn over the keys to the to the show to the bumper podcast. It was a time of growth a time of now.
Gramps 4:58
You owe me money.
Rufus T. Rufus 5:00
What what is that gramps?
Gramps 5:02
Remember, I gave it you alone. And I feel like you owe me so a lot of you owe you a you owe me some money and I would appreciate it if you would. Rate you know,
Rufus T. Rufus 5:19
as they say, give me Well, as I always say natty grams is great to see now I’m busy right now Oh, triple quadruple booked and, and also reading triple books. So I gotta scoot on out of here but always good to see you grabs and we’ll be
Gramps 5:40
watching. You come back. I’m gonna allow
somebody stop. Okay, this is incorrigible. I can’t even believe I’m being treated today. I’m home grown song.
Room studio,
y’all quit mass think and I don’t appreciate none of this. Oh,
Natty Bumpercar 6:06
I’m happy that you stopped by and that you’re here. You know, but this is we’re making a podcast and so I it’s kind of it says, you know, I’m sorry about Rufus owing you money. I wish you were nicer to pig. But
Producer 6:28
naughty, it’s me, our producer. And I noticed that we have the grand the grand man here. And I don’t Is Is he on the podcast today as he levels? Are we should we just I don’t what are we doing? And he stopped the outline for the show. Or anything? Yeah,
Natty Bumpercar 6:49
I I didn’t see the outline.
Gramps 6:53
Tell me that this thing is is recording right now. You’ve had this whole conversation for the last 10 minutes. And it’s being recorded. That’s what I talk about this. There’s cameras everywhere. There’s microphones everywhere there. You’re, you’re out to get us your your generation, your younger generation is out to get us and I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t sign anything. And I don’t want to be recorded.
Producer 7:24
I was wondering if Rufus maybe could help with
Gramps 7:30
roofers, your
Producer 7:32
car seat, sir. Yeah, of course. I know. He does. Take your money from time to time for me that’s been the back No. Well, anyway, I’m so sorry that they confusion I. Normally when people come in, I just start recording because I don’t know when we’re going to, you know, make the podcast or when we’re not. And so I say okay, this looks like my chance. And then I hit the bathroom. And I’m very, you know, apologetic. But I think we’ve done a wonderful job so far. If I’m to be honest,
Gramps 8:07
I am sorry to pop my head back in here. So I don’t mean to interrupt twice now. But did I hit something about scripts? Like our outlines? I didn’t know we were starting to do that kind of stuff. Are we going to start having scripts? Because that actually seems like it might be work. And I don’t know if I’m into that is what I’m trying to. I have my hands up and I’m rolling them out. I’m saying I am pointing at myself. I don’t know both hands pointing at you. If I both again, it may am into that. And that’s me putting my hands up like whoa, I don’t that’s if this is just me showing up and saying jibber jabber up on it. You know this. If this is me, having to sit down with you guys at a writers table
Aloysius J. Pig 8:51
who’s you don’t know about
Gramps 8:53
me like
maybe friend is just a layabout. He doesn’t even want to work for anything. He just expects the world to come to him and I say that’s not how it works. In my day, if I wanted to eat, I had to walk up a mountain, cross a river and then into a valley and then wrestle a bear and then get the map to where the food was from the bear and then go to the frozen tundra because the food was there because that’s where it was kept cold it makes sense and I put it in my satchel and then we’ll go all the way back okay give a little bit to the bear because I feel bad that’s wrestling with a very nice and then heated up it would I would go three weeks in between my meal three weeks, really three four times a year I would eat.
Natty Bumpercar 9:54
I I don’t want to question you, but I don’t know think that that the stories that I’ve heard this aren’t, this isn’t true, maybe I mean, like, you can’t go three weeks without eating. I don’t know what you would do you wouldn’t do well, and then just say you only ate three or four times a year, even four times a year that would that would say at that three weeks a clip that’s 12 weeks. So that’s that’s that’s only full. Let’s do the math. Three months. I I again, I’m not questioning you. You have you. i Oh, I don’t
Gramps 10:38
that eats me doodle total. Time. Who makes drawings? Hey, doodle. Hey, Grant was
talking dog. You’re talking frog? Talking ping? It
is played? It’s like the Berenstein No,
I can’t remember what it’s called.
Natty Bumpercar 11:03
The Bremen Town Musicians, which was a favorite book of mine growing up and there was Davis chicken and there’s cat and there was a dog and maybe trying to think a goat. Maybe a horse. I don’t remember. But yeah, I know what you’re talking about. But there was a lot of animals in that good catch. Hey, Judo poodle. Thanks so much for stopping by. That’s very weirdly well timed for you. Could you maybe do me a favor and see if gramps wants to go with you to your studio to maybe you could show him some of your some of your doodles some of your artwork
Doodle Poodle 11:38
just sounds like the best idea that I’ve ever heard in my life. Would you be interested in baby going away studio checking out some of my amazing
Gramps 11:57
genius gonna send me away with this talk and dog high pitched voice to his art studio.
Sees doodles.
Natty Bumpercar 12:09
I think that’d be nice.
Gramps 12:11
I don’t know about this. Well, I
Natty Bumpercar 12:13
just I want you to if you’re gonna be hanging around, I want you to meet some of the other people here at headquarters. And I mean, it’s not like you have a lot on your schedule. Anyway, isn’t.
Gramps 12:23
That reminds me my schedule is so JAM PACKED again do anything.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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In this cozy episode of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar records from a chilly 55-degree studio and launches into a hilarious meditation on the social ritual of asking "how's it going." He explores the difference between genuine inquiry and polite formality, then transitions into an extended rant about hot beverages—from his dislike of coffee to his newfound love of monk fruit sweetener in tea. The highlight of the episode is Natty's heartwarming story about his young son becoming a tea enthusiast, complete with the boy ordering "decaffeinated tea with half and half" at their local diner and even adopting his father's skepticism about insincere social pleasantries. This evergreen episode showcases Natty's signature rambling style and observational humor.
“The people who do know how it's actually going, they probably know already. So the people who come up to you and say how's it going—they don't subscribe to your newsletter, they don't read your blog, they're not watching your TikToks.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“He's like, actually, I'd like some tea, decaffeinated please. And I'm like, oh, you're so fancy. Look at you little fancy man.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“My younger son has picked up on this social cue. And he said, I'm not sure you really want to know. How much time do you have?”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #tea #parenting #socialcustoms #beverages #coffee #monkfruit #family #father-sonbonding
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer
In this unexpected episode, Natty’s grandfather (“Gramps”) drops by the podcast studio looking to use the phone equipment to call his doctor. What follows is a delightfully chaotic conversation about the nature of podcasting, headquarters, and why Natty hangs out with talking animals.
“In my day, if I wanted to eat, I had to walk up a mountain, cross a river, and then into a valley, and then wrestle a bear, and then get the map to where the food was from the bear”
— Gramps“You’re just going to send me away with this talking dog, high-pitched voice, to his art studio, to see his doodles?”
— Gramps“Your generation, your younger generation is out to get us and I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t sign anything and I don’t want to be recorded.”
— Gramps
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe
Natty Bumpercar: i actually had to come out to the studio today and defrost the uh microphone and and and the board because it's so it's cold it's so chilly out here it's 55 degrees currently in in the studio which is kind of insane to me but fine this is the bumper podcast i am natty bumper car it is wonderful to talk to you today how are you i've missed you so much no no really i have i sometimes people say how are you and they don't actually want you to answer because it's it's like a formality right it's like oh how are you doing and then you have to make the mental societal calculation of do i actually tell them how i'm doing do they really want to know how i'm doing or do i just go uh i'm fine things are good like right but then sometimes they'll press a little bit they'll go ah how's the family how's the job how's the wife and it's like oh you're opening the door you're really opening the door to uh i'm gonna start talking i'm gonna give you information and then you're gonna you know wish you hadn't you know because a lot of times the uh how's it going is is pretty surface because the people that you're saying how's it going to uh that generally implies to me at least that you haven't you know talked to them in a little while and maybe you're not up on the day-to-day and so you know the people who do know how it's actually going they they they probably know for you know for the most part so they don't have to say how's it going because they just know so then the people who come up to you and say how's it going they they aren't up on the news right they don't have to say how's it going because they they don't get your they don't subscribe to your newsletter right they don't read your uh your your blog your rss feed they're not watching your tiktoks they don't know how it's going and so when you're like well actually there's a lot going on then you can see like their their the skin on their face kind of tighten up a little bit and they go oh no what have i gotten myself into ah all right and then they try to watch okay as well it's great to see i'm gonna no no no no no oh friend you just asked me how it was going and i am going to do you have 45 minutes because i'd like to tell you how it's going i'd like to tell you every single bit of how it is going and um so that's why uh it's it's a very uh not transitional but just a it's a very transitory i don't know what the word i'm going for but it's it's it's it's not a real question it's not you know like hey bud let's hang out let's sit down right now and hash this out let's have a cup of hot liquid whatever i don't know what hot liquid you drink i don't like coffee i should you know i should let you know that i don't like coffee i think coffee is yucky i do like tea big fan of tea right not fruity kind of teas kind of freak me out a little bit uh but like a black tea like an earl gray which is a black tea but it's gray i don't know english breakfast now that's a tea i can get behind that's a solid tea right uh what other hot drinks cider oh man i will drink a cider like all day long i will drink a cider i will drink a cider i will drink a cider i will drink a cider i will um i will take some cinnamon and i'll put it in my cider yeah that's gonna make my day better i'm just gonna tell you right now um a chai no that's a tea though so i don't know if it really counts um what other kind of hot beverages are there i don't know do you consider like broth to be a hot beverage like a miso soup that you know maybe just has a couple of little scallions in there feels kind of soupy i don't know it's like what kind of what kind of tea do you like oh i'll take the chicken tea today please warms me up fills me up makes me feel good about everything out there like oh sorry we don't have any chicken tea but we do have these dried up leaves that you can put in hot water and then it'll turn your water brown oh well that sounds delicious my uh my youngest kid he's uh i don't know how old he is 7 10 43 i don't know but he's adorable and he sees i drink a lot of tea and he uh recently he was like you know i i'm gonna i'm gonna try some of that tea and i said oh oh oh are you and i let him have a little sip of my tea uh you know not wanting to get the child caffeinated uh because he doesn't need the energy if i'm to be honest i need i need all of the energy I am a robot whose battery is always low and so I need the energy and but I let him have a little sip just to see if he liked it and he did and so I went out and I bought him a little box of decaffeinated tea and now that I'm saying that I kind of wonder if there's any caffeine in that because even though it says decaffeinated I wonder if it's just it means it has less caffeine or if it means there's none I don't know but I should now I'm thinking I should find that out and he loves the whole process of making tea and I think I like part of that too where you you have your your water the kettle it's on the the fire and it's it's boiling and it's whistling and while that whole thing is happening you you go and you get your mug or whatever you know kind of thing you're putting your your your hot tea into you put the tea bag in you we we've discovered because I used to put uh sugar in my tea because I like a little sweet tea because I'm from the south and that's what we drink but now I've discovered uh something called monk fruit which is uh I don't know what it is I know nothing about it I just know I was in a store and someone said would you like to try these strawberries they've got a little monk fruit on them and I was like yeah oh sure and this wasn't even like someone who worked in the store this was just like a random person I think they pulled it out of their pocket if I'm to be honest I uh it wasn't like at a station it wasn't branded it was just I yeah wow I don't know maybe maybe monk fruit is doing some you know guerrilla marketing now they're just going into stores berries in their pocket and trying to trying to turn the masses or something like that real uh grass roots is what they're doing so no I I tried it and it was it was I was like well this is this tastes fine this tastes yummy this is good and so then it took me two months for that thought to work its way through my brain and get to the point where I was like I wonder if this monk fruit will be good in my tea and then it took another month and a half for me to then go fine like be at the store and remember that that was something that I was curious about. Uh, so it's a, it's a six month process at most. So any, any thought that comes into my brain, anything that I'm like, you know, that's a good idea. It doesn't just then happen. It has to, uh, sit on the shelf for a little while, you know, like actually what we do is we, uh, we cook it with, uh, and then we, we put it in a Mason jar and then we put it on the shelf and then, you know, you let it rest there and then we open it and, oh, and it's delicious. And then we put it back in the fridge and we, it's a whole process is what I'm saying. And so I finally, it happened though. I got it and it's delicious. It, it, it, it doesn't entire, it doesn't a thousand percent tastes like sugar. Uh, but I would say it's a good 80% and it doesn't taste like the, uh, I don't like unnatural sweeteners, like the, the pink. Packet or the blue packet or the yellow packet. Uh, those all kind of just leave a bad taste in my mouth. Don't like diet sodas either for the same reason. I just don't think, but this stuff, so far so okay. So, you know, I'll keep drinking it. Um, drinking it. No, putting it in my tea and then drinking it. That's what I'll do. So the child, he, he loves the process of, we put the tea bag in, we put the, we put the, we put the, we put the, we put the, we put the, we put the, we put the tea bag into the mug while the water is boiling. Uh, I've started putting this mug fruit into his tea and he, he, he doesn't seem to notice, which is nice. And, um, then, you know, you, you put the water in and he, he enjoys watching it steep. And, um, I would like to know the etymology of the word steep. Cause it's, you're, you know, just putting the tea bag into the hot water and, and releasing the deliciousness from the leaves that have been dried. And I don't know what steeping is, huh? But, you know, initially we were trying to teach him like, all right, so you have a tea bag and then you put it in the water and, and, you know, it has to sit in there for a certain amount of time. The water should be a certain temperature. It should sit in the water for a certain amount of time. And we're not that scientific about it, uh, if I'm to be honest, but you can look at it and you can see like, okay, that, that water looks plenty dark to me. Like, I feel like it, it's, it's got enough tea flavor. And then also trying to explain to him that if you leave the tea bag in there for too long, if you forget it in there, it might turn bitter on you. You don't want that. No, no, no bitter, no bitter, no, nobody, no bitter. So, you know, he, he's constantly, he's like, has it steeped enough? Has it steeped enough? And I'm he takes it out. And then what we do is we leave like an inch at the top of his mug and we put some ice cubes in there just to cool it down. You know, I don't want to burn them. I want them to enjoy his tea. And, um, so then we, we have, I have a tea buddy. Like we, he, we go to, we go to the restaurant and if we get breakfast and, uh, he's like, uh, she's like, and what, what will you have little man? Some chocolate milk. And he's like, actually, I'd like some tea decaffeinated please. And I'm like, oh, you're so fancy. Look at you little fancy man. And, uh, the waitress is always really amused by it that, that he's being so fancy. And he, uh, and, and the last time we went, she was like, and would you like some cream or she, and he was like, no, no, no half and half for me. He knows what half and half is. I don't even know what half and half is. I just know it's kind of milky stuff. And it's all, it comes in a little bowl type situation and it's put on the table and then you put it in coffee and stuff and it makes it look neat and cloudy and everything. I don't really know if it, if it changed. But, you know, so she was asking him this and, um, so we go to the same diner every so often and it was great because we went there just he and I the other day and, uh, we're, we're at the table. It's the same waitress that we normally get. And she comes up and she has all these, you know, big smiles and, oh, how are you? Well, you look at you guys and we're like, Hey. And then she looks, she goes, so how's it going? And, and my younger son has picked up on this social cue. And he said, I'm not sure you really want to know how much time do you have?
Producer: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at Headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram at Natty Bumpercar dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram at Natty Bumpercar dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Unknown: This has been a nonproductive media presentation, executive producer, Frank Hablawi. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons attribution, noncommercial, no derivatives license. Please share it, but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information, visit non-productive.com.
