Healing after divorce starts in the body — not the spreadsheet. In this conversation, crisis coach Pamela Dussault joins Leslie Mathews to share why nervous system reset has to come before any of the practical work, and how women rebuild self-trust after an abusive marriage, burnout, or estrangement.
▶ Ready for structured support through divorce? Learn about THROUGH, Leslie's 8-week coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram
▶ Book a free discovery call with Pamela: https://pamela-dussault-consulting.com
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In this episode of Pulling Threads, Pamela Dussault — a coach with more than 23 years of experience guiding women through divorce, burnout, estrangement, and existential reckoning — walks us through her signature framework she calls "victory." Pamela's path began with her own series of storms, including a divorce from an abusive partner who threatened her life when she sought to leave. From that breaking point, she built a methodology that moves clients through three anchors: resetting the nervous system, disrupting the identity and belief patterns that no longer serve them, and rebuilding self-trust so they can emerge as the most authentic version of themselves.
Leslie and Pamela talk candidly about the moment of awakening that comes inside crisis — when you finally see that the wall in front of you is actually a new beginning. They explore what it feels like to choose change, why acceptance is the hardest and most empowering step, and how something as small as the "butterfly tap" under the collarbone can move you out of fear and back into your body's wisdom. Pamela also shares her own story of setting new standards for love after divorce, and why it took her four years to find a relationship that matched what she actually wanted.
If you're in the middle of your own storm — divorce, burnout, an estrangement, or that quiet existential question of "is this really my life?" — this episode is a gentle, grounded reminder that change isn't happening to you. It's happening for you.
WHAT WE COVER:
• Why nervous system reset has to come before the legal, financial, and parenting decisions
• The "butterfly" technique and a hand-on-heart practice you can use today
• How to spot the belief patterns keeping you in a life that doesn't fit anymore
• Pamela's three-pillar framework: reset, disrupt, rebuild
• Setting new standards for love (and why this isn't about finding a partner)
• Holding both connection and distance in estrangement
• The Disneyland moment when joy comes back — and what to do with it
TIMESTAMP
00:00 Welcome & introducing Pamela Dussault
01:30 The one thing your younger self would be surprised by
04:00 'I need to know this for a reason' — the wounded healer's path
06:00 Leslie's newspaper-article moment & deciding to leave
10:30 Pamela's 3am awakening & the gentle voice that changed everything
14:00 The mind-body downloads after the spiritual opening
18:00 The black-mold sign and trusting the universe
20:30 What the reframe to hope actually looks like inside the pain
23:30 Joy returning after suffering: the Disneyland story
25:00 The first choice — acceptance is the hardest, most powerful move
26:30 Why nervous system reset is the first pillar (not finances)
29:00 Two practices: the butterfly tap & hand-on-heart
31:30 Disrupting belief patterns: what story are you living in?
34:30 Social media, constant fear, and the noise we absorb
38:00 Burnout, career change, and the courage to stop
40:30 Setting new standards for love after an abusive marriage
43:30 Looking for the relationship — not the person
45:30 How long it took, why she wasn't nervous, and what she refused to settle for
48:30 When overwhelm is real and when it's a signal
51:30 Pamela's three-pillar method: reset, disrupt, rebuild
54:00 Estrangement: how to love from a distance
57:00 The Pisces symbol — holding both wholeness and connection
01:02:30 How to work with Pamela: discovery calls & the Victory package
01:04:30 Closing reflections
CONNECT WITH PAMELA DUSSAULT:
• Website & free discovery call: https://pamela-dussault-consulting.com
• Instagram & Threads: @pamela.dussault.consulting
• All her links: https://linktr.ee/CrisisCoachPamela
• Free burnout quiz: https://shorturl.at/8igxA
CONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE:
• THROUGH — 8-week divorce program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram
• Main hub: https://theloomlife.com
• Therapy practice: https://loomlifetherapy.com
• Leslie's site: https://leslieellenmathews.com
• Instagram: @the.loom.life
• TikTok: @leslieellenmathews
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#DivorceRecoveryPodcast #NervousSystemReset #HealingAfterDivorce #PullingThreads #TheLoomLife
