Reclaiming Your Voice: Healing Silence After Trauma, Criticism, and Emotional Harm
What if you’re not afraid to speak up — but afraid of what happened when you did?
In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist, former attorney, and mindfulness teacher Leslie Mathews explores why so many thoughtful, capable people struggle to use their voice — even when they know their ideas matter.
This isn’t about public speaking tips or “just being brave.”
It’s about how silence becomes a survival strategy when speaking up once led to ridicule, punishment, emotional withdrawal, or subtle psychological harm.
Drawing from personal experience, trauma-informed psychology, nervous system regulation, and years of therapeutic work, Leslie unpacks:
How people lose their voice over time
Why the body reacts before the mind
How relationships and family dynamics reinforce silence
What reclaiming your voice actually takes — layer by layer
If you’ve ever:
Tightened up when trying to speak your truth
Second-guessed your words in certain relationships
Felt “too much,” not articulate enough, or quietly dismissed
Gone silent to keep the peace
This conversation is for you.
Reclaiming your voice is not about becoming louder.
It’s about becoming safer inside yourself.
⏱️ Episode Timestamps
00:00 – Why courage isn’t enough to reclaim your voice
01:00 – When speaking up once led to punishment or ridicule
02:00 – The deeper fear behind silence
03:00 – Growing up outspoken — and learning it wasn’t safe
04:00 – Mockery, sarcasm, and being “too much”
05:00 – Losing confidence after early performance experiences
06:00 – Subtle put-downs in intimate relationships
07:00 – Intelligence comparisons and self-monitoring speech
08:00 – From neuroscience to law: how self-doubt redirects lives
09:00 – How people actually lose their voice
10:00 – Silence as a learned nervous system response
11:00 – Trauma responses: tight throat, stammering, going blank
12:00 – Gender, power, and social penalties for speaking up
13:00 – Psychological harm in “quiet” relationships
14:00 – Awareness: recognizing where silence was learned
15:00 – Grieving the years you stayed small
16:00 – Your ideas aren’t gone — they’re waiting
17:00 – Experimenting with safer spaces to speak
18:00 – Therapy, coaching, and community support
19:00 – Regulation: staying present in your body
20:00 – Finding environments where your voice is welcomed
21:00 – Rebuilding self-trust
22:00 – When fear stops controlling you
23:00 – Teaching the nervous system it’s safe now
24:00 – Speaking without apology or performance
25:00 – Living authentically after silence
26:00 – Support, rebuilding, and next steps
27:00 – Closing reflections & invitation
🔗 Connect With Me
Website: https://www.theloomlife.com
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Therapy Practice: Loom Life Therapy
If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone who has gone quiet — not because they had nothing to say, but because it once wasn’t safe.
