Today we celebrate the birthdays of Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Thanks to the Julian and Gregorian calendars, we're not quite sure when Washington was born. The debate continues... we do know it was sometime in February, likely in the second or third week of the month. Lincoln's was February 12th; close enough to merge with Washington's and move both to a completely separate day for celebration. Some folks take the opportunity to celebrate ALL of the US Presidents. They all made their mark on this country's history... take President William Harrison for example. He delivered a 2-hour inauguration speech, the longest of any president, and he did it in the pouring rain! Impressive, but a flawed idea given he caught pneumonia and died 31 days after taking office. There, you learned something. And Mike learns, at the end of today's show, what the theme music means. Stay tuned for that!
With all this talk of history and catching things, I feel it's time to tell you about today's show! A certain TV series made 'history' last night during our broadcast (central time). THE SIMPSONS aired their 500th episode. Its plot was just like the ho-hum movie they released a few years back. As you might expect, this launches us into our usual quote-fest of Simpson memories followed by the continued mulling of how relevant the show is still.
Then a quote-fest you might not expect... TITANIC. During the Calendar segment, I announce that Billy Zane will celebrate his birthday on Friday. We ramble off a few films he's done including the James Cameron epic, followed by his best lines in it.
Perhaps our biggest story of the night is the ironic events that occurred at the Las Vegas branch of The Heart Attack Grill. For some reason this place just keeps coming up on our show. Perhaps its their morbid sense of humor. Their view on enjoying life and food the way YOU want to. Or maybe it's just the fact that funny shit keeps happening with them. Our chronicle continues with the latest incident in which an actual heart attack is suffered by a "patient" while eating a Triple Bypass Burger. The call for the grills to be turned off for good is once again resonating with health experts and all around stick-in-the-muds. After all, a single burger WILL trigger a heart attack. It's not your lifestyle or years of fat accumulation. No no... it's that single burger you crammed down your pie hole that jammed the cogs of your ticker. Some have gone as far as calling the establishment socially irresponsible. Our take on this view today.
From lots-o-calories to lots-o-money. Or lack there of. Former NBA superstar, Allen Iverson brings us a cautionary tale of what NOT to do with your easily-earned scratch. The ball player once amassed a fortune of over $150-million. Now he can't even pay $800,000 owed to his jeweler. His bank account has been seized and he is as poor as the rest of us. With all this "we are the 1%" talk buzzing the nation, it's infuriating to read about someone so disgustingly rich just pissing away their money. How many times have you read about someone winning the lottery, inheriting a fortune or somehow coming into a huge sum of cash and you said to yourself, "What I could do with that kind of money..." On the other hand, it is his money to lose. I'm sure that's no comfort to him of course. We share our thoughts on this as well.
And it may not be hundreds-of-millions-of-dollars, but a public high school in Cincinnati is offering students $25 gift cards if they have good attendance and stay out of trouble. The school, which has a graduation rate lower than that of the middle class's federal income tax just starting the program and has already seen a 15% improvement in students' attendance. That's great news, but why should schools -- which are more broke than Allen Iverson right now -- have to pay students to show up? Where are their parents? Where are the leather belts? I would go to school with my kid and sit through every class with them if they tried to skip. I would handcuff them to their desk if need be. It all starts at home folks. This is money the district is taking from teachers and other students who are good and do show up... just not on President's Day... we all get that day off.
