It's the strawberry jam on the butter knife all over again. I make a joke that's apparently "too far" on today's show. I can't make a pedophilia-on-a-plane joke, but it's okay to joke about Tony Scott's death... Dennis. Or make a similar pedophilia pun for this week's title... Jabari. Both of those were after the show, but close enough to count damn it!
Before any of that happens we share some thoughts on THE EXPENDABLES 2. We were all pleased with the film. Less story, more gratuitous violence including fight scenes you could actually follow and tons of self-aware jokes from the cast that came off campy and funny. Along with our review of the second film comes news that the third is already in the works. If all goes as planned, we'll see the cast return as well as a few awesome additions and one that isn't so awesome.
A listener E-Mail brings us a tale from right here in our neck of the woods. A new anime convention opening this week made a rather presumptuous proposition to a famous cosplayer. They asked her to come to the show in her costumes... and strip! For $200 and snacks. Not only is she NOT a stripper and has no interest in becoming one, but she says she'd have to alter her costumes to be able to easily strip them off, plus the pay is pretty lousy for the amount of work they want her to do and the apparent contract they E-Mailed her was sloppy and unprofessional. We strip down the details of this convention-catastrophe.
Alright, that pedo-joke comes in during our first big story of the show. A man on a Quantas flight in Australia was forced to move to another seat after the airline plopped him next to an unaccompanied minor; a violation of their policy. Apparently some airlines don't like seating adult men next to children who are flying alone. A safe precaution says the airline. A discriminatory one says the passenger, a registered nurse by the way. He's not alone. It happened to a firefighter as well back in April on another airline. And who's to say the woman he switched seats with wasn't a kiddie fiddler? By the way, that's what he called a pedophile and it was almost this week's show title. How would Quantas have explained that one? We discuss this policy. And make offensive jokes as usual.
Then it's time to catch up on some news we missed last week while we were off for Mike's birthday. First, MORTAL KOMBAT: LEGACY is returning for a season 2! This time, it takes place at the actual tournament!
We learn that Joss Whedon will be back to write and direct another Avengers film. This is good news. Getting ahead of ourselves, Dennis fears for a third movie after being let down by THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. If it's like most trilogies, the third — if made — could be the weakest even if Joss Whedon does it too. With the few minutes we devote to it, we're unable to think of an action film trilogy where all three were equally good or damn close. This is our challenge to you. If you can think of the ultimate trifecta-perfecta of cinema, drop us an E-Mail and state your case. We'd love to hear from ya!
While on the subject of three-quels. The third adventure of BILL AND TED is still in the works. The creators of the franchise are still working on the script and GALAXY QUEST director, Dean Parisot will helm the project.
Another iconic 80s character will be coming to the big screen. We watch Mike's face light up with delight that ALF will be turned into a feature-length film. Gordon Shumway (no relation to me) will be voiced by the same guy who did it on the TV show, Paul Fusco. He also created the character. Along with the creator of the sitcom and the producer of that terrible SMURFS movie, they'll reinvent the cat-craving furry little alien from planet Melmac.
We've got dildos in this week's Breaking News. About 10,000 of them. In an effort to promote the use of sex toys, Trojan handed out free ones from a fake hot dog cart in New York City recently. Somehow this gets us onto the topic of Oprah and what her show would've been like if she'd handed out plastic dicks instead of new cars to her audience... Jabari
And we stay in NYC and on the subject of sex with the "Who's Your Daddy?" van. A mobile paternity testing service. The Maury show had nothing to do with this! The RV, which also provides drug tests, is proving popular. It gets flagged down and has even reunited a father with his long lost daughter.
Talking about how awesome 80s action movie stars are, anime and stripping, pedophilia jokes, movie news, and dildos? we're back baby!!!
