OrEd-T-17.4-Shadows of the Past.1
14. To forgive is merely to remember only the loving thoughts I gave in the past and those that were given me. All the rest must be forgotten. Forgiveness is a selective remembering, not based on my selection. For the shadow figures I would make immortal are "enemies" of reality. The shadow figures are the witnesses I bring with me to demonstrate that my brother did what he did not do. I am willing to forgive the Son of God for what he did not do. Yet, I will hear the shadow figures, because I brought them with me, and kept them by my own selection. And, I do not understand how they came into my mind, and what their purpose is.
15. The shadow figures represent the evil that I think was done to me. I bring them with me only that I may return evil for evil, hoping that their witness will enable me to think guiltily of another, and not harm myself. They speak so clearly for the separation, that only one obsessed with keeping the separation could hear them. They offer me the "reasons" why I should enter into unholy alliances which support the ego's goals, and make my relationships the witness to the ego's power. It is these shadow figures which would make the ego holy in my sight, and teach me that what I do to keep the ego safe is really love.
16. The shadow figures always speak for vengeance, and all relationships they enter into are totally insane. These relationships, without exception, have as their purpose, the exclusion of the truth about the other, and about myself. This is why I see in both of us what is not there, and make both of us the slaves of vengeance. And also, why anything that reminds me of my past grievances, no matter how distorted the association, will attract me, and seem to me to be love. And finally, why all such relationships become the attempt at union through the body, for only bodies can be seen as means for vengeance. That bodies are central to all unholy relationships is evident. My own experience has taught me this. However, what I do not realize are all the reasons that are involved to make the relationship unholy. For unholiness seeks to reinforce itself by attracting what it perceives as like itself, as holiness does.
17. In the unholy relationship, it is not the body of the other with which union is attempted, but the bodies of those that are not there. The body of the other, already a severely limited perception of him, is not the central focus entirely as it is. Separated off are aspects of the other that can be most readily associated with the shadow figures on whom vengeance is really sought, to be used for fantasies of vengeance. These are the only parts of value. The shadow figures enter more and more, decreasing the importance of the real partner in whom they seem to be. Every step taken in making, maintaining, and breaking off the unholy relationship, is a step toward further fragmentation and unreality.
18. Time is indeed unkind to the unholy relationship. For time is cruel in the ego's hands, as it is kind when used for gentleness. The attraction of the unholy relationship begins to fade and to be questioned almost at once. Once it is formed, doubt must enter, because its purpose is impossible. The only such relationships which retain the fantasies that center on them, are those which have been dreamed of, but have not been made. Where no reality has entered, there is nothing to intrude upon the dream of happiness. Yet, consider what this means--the more reality that enters into the unholy relationship, the less satisfying it becomes. And the more the fantasies can include, the greater the satisfaction seems to be.
19. The "ideal" of the unholy relationship thus becomes one in which the reality of the other does not enter at all to "spoil" the dream. And the less the other really brings to it, the "better" it becomes. Thus, the attempt at union becomes a way of excluding even the one with whom the union was sought. For it was formed to get him out of it, and join with fantasies in uninterrupted "bliss". How can the Holy Spirit
bring His interpretation of the body as a means of communication into relationships whose only purpose is separation from reality? What forgiveness "is" enables Him to do so.
