OrEd-T-17.6-The Healed Relationship.1
43. The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a practical device, witnessed to by its results. The holy instant never fails. The experience of it is always felt. Yet without expression, it is not remembered. The holy relationship is a constant reminder of the experience in which the relationship became what it is. And as the unholy relationship is a continuing hymn of hate in praise of its maker, so is the holy relationship a happy song of praise to the Redeemer of relationships.
44. The holy relationship is learned, and is a major step toward the perception of the real world. It is the old unholy relationship transformed and seen anew. The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship. Jesus comforts me, that the only difficult phase is the beginning. For in the beginning, the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted to the exact opposite of what it was. This is the first result of offering the relationship to the Holy Spirit to use for His purposes.
45. This invitation is accepted immediately, and the Holy Spirit wastes no time in introducing the practical results of asking Him to enter. His goal replaces mine at once. This is accomplished very rapidly, but it makes the relationship seem disturbed, disjunctive, and even quite distressing. The reason is clear. For the relationship is out of line with its own goal, and is not suited to the new purpose. In its unholy condition, my goal was all that seemed to give it meaning. Many relationships have been broken off at this point, and the pursuit of the old goal reestablished in another relationship. Once the unholy relationship has accepted the goal of holiness, it can never again be what it was.
46. The temptation of the ego becomes extremely intense with the shift of goals. For the relationship has not yet been changed sufficiently to make its former goal completely without attraction, and its structure is "threatened" by the recognition of its inappropriateness for meeting its new purpose. The conflict between the goal and the structure of the relationship is so apparent that they cannot coexist. Yet now the goal will not be changed. Set firmly in the unholy relationship, there is no course except to change the relationship to fit the goal. Until this happy solution is seen and accepted as the only way out of the conflict, the relationship seems to be severely strained.
47. It would not be kinder to shift the goal more slowly, for the contrast would be obscured and the ego given time to reinterpret each slow step according to its liking. Only a radical shift in purpose could induce a complete change of mind about what the whole relationship is for. As this change develops and is finally accomplished, it grows increasingly beneficent and joyous. But at the beginning, the situation is experienced as very precarious. A relationship undertaken by two individuals for their unholy purposes suddenly has holiness for its goal. As these two contemplate their relationship from the point of view of this new purpose, they are inevitably appalled. Their perception of the relationship may even become quite disorganized. And yet, the former organization of this perception no longer serves the purpose they have agreed to meet.
48. This is the time for faith. I let this goal be set for me. That was an act of faith. I must not abandon faith, now that the rewards of faith are being introduced. If I believed the Holy Spirit was there to accept the relationship, why would I now not still believe that He is there to purify what He has taken under His guidance? I must have faith in the other in what only seems to be a trying time. The goal is set. And the relationship has sanity as its purpose. For now I find myself in an insane relationship, recognized as such in the light of its goal.
49. Now the ego counsels thus--substitute this for another relationship to which your former goal was quite appropriate. I can escape from my distress only by getting rid of the other. We need not part entirely if I choose not to do so. But we must exclude major areas of fantasy from each other to save our sanity. I must not hear this now! I will have faith in Him Who answered me. He heard. He has been very explicit in His answer. I am not wholly insane now. I cannot deny that He has given me a most explicit statement. Now, He asks for faith a little longer, even in bewilderment. For bewilderment will go, and I will see the justification for my faith emerge to bring me shining conviction. We must not abandon Him now, nor each other. This relationship has been reborn as holy.
