OrEd-T-19.5-Obstacles to Peace-d.1
d. The Fourth Obstacle: The Fear of God
90. What would I see without the fear of death? What would I feel and think if death had no attraction for me? Very simply, I would remember my Father. I would remember the Creator of life, the Source of everything that lives, the Father of the universe and of the universe of universes, and of everything that lies beyond them. As the memory of this rises in my mind, peace still must surmount a final obstacle for salvation to be completed, and the Son of God restored entirely to sanity. And here my world ends.
91. The fourth obstacle to be surmounted hangs like a heavy veil hiding the face of Christ. This dark veil which seems to hide Christ's face, fades in the blazing light beyond it. And as His face rises beyond the veil, shining with joy because He is in His Father's Love, peace will lightly brush the veil aside and run to meet and join with Him at last, when the fear of death is gone.
92. This is the darkest veil, upheld and protected by the attraction to, and belief in death. This dedication to the sovereignty of death, is the secret promise I made to the ego never to lift this veil, never to approach it nor even suspect that it is there. This is the bargain made to keep what lies beyond the veil unremembered, reinforcing the belief that I am separate and alone. This is the great amnesia in which the memory of God seems completely forgotten, separating myself from my Self. This is the fear of God, the final step in my dissociation.
93. I see how the belief in death would seem to 'save' me. If this is gone, what can I fear but life? It is the attraction of death that makes life seem ugly, and cruel. I am as afraid of the ego as of death. These are my chosen friends. In my secret alliance with them, I have agreed to never let the fear of God be lifted. If I did, I would look upon the face of Christ and join Him in His Father.
94. Every obstacle that peace must flow across is surmounted in the same way. When the fear that raised the obstacle yields to the love beneath, the fear is gone. This one is the same. The desire to get rid of peace and drive the Holy Spirit from me, fades in the presence of the quiet recognition that I love the Holy Spirit. The exaltation of the body is given up in favor of the Spirit, which I love as I could never love the body. And the appeal of death is lost forever as love's attraction stirs and calls to me. From beyond each of the obstacles to love, Love Itself has called, and each obstacle has been overcome by the power of Love. Wanting fear seemed to be what was holding the obstacles in place. Yet, when I heard the voice of Love beyond the obstacles, I answered and the obstacles disappeared.
95. Now I stand in terror before what I swore never to look upon. My eyes look down as I remember my promise to my 'friends'-- the 'loveliness' of sin, the delicate appeal of guilt, the 'holy' image of death, and the vengeful ego. They all rise and tell me not to raise my eyes. I realize that if I look on this obstacle, and let the veil be lifted, they will be gone forever. All my 'friends,' 'protectors,' 'home' will vanish, and I will not remember anything that I remember now.
96. If I raise my eyes, it seems as if the world will abandon me. Yet, what will occur is that I will be leaving the world forever. This reestablishes my will. I will look on my will with open eyes. I will never again believe that I am at the mercy of things beyond me, forces I cannot control, and thoughts that come to me against my will. It is my will to look on this. Nothing can stand against my will--no mad desire, no impulse to forget again, no threat of death, nor stab of fear. For the Love that calls to me from beyond the veil, is also deep within me, completely one with the Love of God.
