OrEd-T-22.2-Message of Holy Relation.1
5. I will let reason take another step. If I hate the one God loves, and attack whom He would heal, then I have a different will than my Creator. Yet, if I am His Will, my belief must be that I am not myself. I can indeed believe this with faith, and see much evidence as witness. Then I wonder why there arises in myself a strange uneasiness, a sense of being disconnected, a haunting fear and lack of meaning? It is as though I wandered in without a plan except to wander off, for only that seems certain.
6. I have heard a similar description earlier, but it was not of me. Yet this strange idea, accurately described, I think is me. Reason would tell me that the world, seen through eyes which are not mine, must make no sense to me. To whom would vision such as this send back its messages? Surely not me, whose sight is wholly independent of the eyes which look upon the world. If this is not my vision, what can it show me? The brain cannot interpret what my vision sees. This I would understand. The brain interprets to the body, as part of it. But what the brain says, I cannot understand. Yet I have listened to it. And long and hard I tried to understand its messages. I did not realize it is impossible to understand what fails entirely to reach me.
7. I have received no messages at all I understand. For I have listened to what can never communicate at all. I will think, then, what happened. Denying what I am and firm in faith that I am something else, this "something else" which I have made to be myself became my sight. Yet it must be the "something else" which sees, and as not me, explains its sight to me. My vision would of course, render this quite unnecessary. Yet if my eyes are closed and I have called upon this thing to lead me, asking it to explain to me the world it sees, I have no reason not to listen nor to suspect that what it tells me is not true. Reason would tell me it cannot be true because I do not understand it. God has no secrets. He does not lead me through a world of misery, waiting to tell me at the journey's end why He did this to me.
8. What could be secret from God's Will? Yet I believe that I have secrets. What could my secrets be except another will that is my own, apart from God's. Reason would tell me that this is no secret that need be hidden as a sin. But a mistake indeed! I will not let my fear of sin protect it from correction, for the attraction of guilt is only fear. Here is the one emotion that I made, whatever it may seem to be. This is the emotion of secrecy, of private thoughts, and of the body. This is the one emotion that opposes love and always leads to sight of differences and loss of sameness. Here is the one emotion that keeps me blind, dependent on the self I think I made to lead me through the world this emotion made for me.
9. My sight was given me, along with everything that I can understand. I will perceive no difficulty in understanding what this vision tells me, for everyone sees only what he thinks he is. And what my sight would show me, I will understand because it is the truth. Only my vision can convey to me what I can see. It reaches me directly without a need to be interpreted to me. What needs interpretation must be alien. Nor will it ever be made understandable by an interpreter I cannot understand.
10. Of all the messages I have received and failed to understand, this course alone is open to my understanding and can be understood. This is my language. I do not understand it yet, only because my whole communication is like a baby's. The sounds a baby makes and what he hears are highly unreliable, meaning different things to him at different times. Neither the sounds he hears nor sights he sees are stable yet. But what he hears and does not understand will be his native tongue, through which he will communicate with those around him, and they with him. And the strange shifting ones he sees about him will become to him his comforters, and he will recognize his home and see them there with him.
