T-7.6-From Vigilance to Peace-2
8. Jesus has emphasized that the ego does believe it can attack God, and tries to persuade me that I have attacked God. If the mind cannot attack, the ego proceeds perfectly logically to the belief that I must be a body. By not seeing me as I am, the ego can see itself as it wants to be. Aware of its weakness, the ego wants my allegiance, but not as I really am. Therefore, the ego wants to engage my mind in the ego's own delusional system, because otherwise the light of my understanding would dispel the ego. The ego wants no part of truth, because the ego itself is not true. If truth is total, the untrue cannot exist. Commitment to either must be total. Truth and the ego cannot coexist in my mind without splitting (dissociating) my mind. If the ego and truth cannot coexist in peace, and if I want peace, I must give up the idea of conflict entirely, and for all time. This requires vigilance only as long as I do not recognize what is true. While I believe that two totally contradictory thought systems share truth, my need for vigilance is apparent.
9. My mind is dividing its allegiance between two kingdoms, and I am totally committed to neither of them. My identification with God's Kingdom is totally beyond question, except by me when I am thinking insanely. What I am is not established by my perception, and is not influenced by my perception at all. Perceived problems in identification, at any level, are not problems of fact. Perceived problems are problems of understanding, since the presence of perceived problems implies a belief that what I am is up to me to decide. The ego believes this totally, being fully committed to it. It is not true. The ego therefore, is totally committed to untruth, perceiving in total contradiction to the Holy Spirit, and to the knowledge of God.
10. I can be perceived with meaning only by the Holy Spirit, because my being is the knowledge of God. Any belief I accept apart from this, will obscure God's Voice in me, and will therefore obscure God to me. Unless I perceive God's creation truly, I cannot know the Creator, since God and His creation are not separate. The Oneness of the Creator and the creation is my wholeness, my sanity, and my limitless power. This limitless power is God's gift to me, because it is what I am. If I dissociate my mind from this limitless power, I am perceiving the most powerful force in the universe as if it were weak, because I do not believe I am part of it.
11. Perceived without my part in it, God's creation is seen as weak, and those who see themselves as weakened do attack. The attack must be blind, however, because there is nothing to attack. Therefore, the weakened ones make up images, perceive the images as unworthy, and attack the images for their unworthiness. That is all the world of the ego is. Nothing. The ego's world has no meaning. The ego's world does not exist. I will not try to understand the ego's world, because, if I do, I am believing that it can be understood, and is therefore capable of being appreciated, and loved. That would justify the world's existence, which cannot be justified. I cannot make the meaningless meaningful. This can only be an insane attempt.
12. Allowing insanity to enter my mind means that I have not judged sanity as wholly desirable. If I want something else, I will make something else, but because it is something else, it will attack my thought system, and divide my allegiance. I cannot create in this divided state. I must be vigilant against this divided state, because only peace can be extended. My divided mind is blocking the extension of the Kingdom, and the extension of the Kingdom is my joy. If I do not extend the Kingdom, I am not thinking with my Creator, and creating as He created.
13. In this depressing state the Holy Spirit reminds me gently that I am sad because I am not fulfilling my function as co-creator with God, and am therefore depriving myself of joy. This is not God's choice but mine. If my mind could be out of accord with God's, I would be willing without meaning. Yet, because God's will is unchangeable, no conflict of will is possible. This is the Holy Spirit's perfectly consistent teaching. Creation, not separation, is my will because it is God's will, and nothing that opposes God's will means anything at all. Being a perfect accomplishment, the Sonship can only accomplish perfectly, extending the joy in which the Sonship was created, and identifying itself with both its Creator and its creations, knowing They are one.
