Welcome to You Already Know, the podcast with jokes about news you already know. My name is James Creviston and I am a comedian in Los Angeles. Here are this weeks news jokes.
A foul smelling plant known as the "corpse flower" is finally blooming at the New York Botanical Garden in New York City. No one ever noticed because of how New York always smells.
Worried that Swedes aren't having enough sex, the government wants to analyze the bedroom activities of its citizens in a major new study. This takes on a whole new meaning to Big Brother is watching you.
A 64-year-old was arrested on drug charges when Orlando police officers spotted four tiny flakes of glaze on his floorboard and thought they were pieces of crystal methamphetamine. Which explains why you can never just eat one Krispy Kreme doughnut.
Two circus acrobats tied the knot on a tightrope during a performance in Houston. It was the only knot they could make without a rope.
The co-owner of a bridal shop has been charged with indecent exposure after three women reported him standing naked next to mannequins in the store's display window. They were mostly offended that he saw them in their dresses before their group wedding.
It's so hot in New York that manure is bursting into flames. Most of it was Chris Christie’s he left Trump Tower.
A "Pokemon Go" player has found $2,000 in cash at a Pokestop in New Jersey. He is happy he found the money because now he can afford to lose his virginity.
A suburban Detroit motorcyclist was apparently fast enough to leave police in the dust during a chase, but not swift enough to stop from bragging about it on Facebook. Turns out, he was Facebook friends with his towns police department.
These are the jokes for August 1, 2016. I’m James Creviston you can find me on YouTube and this is You Already Know.
