Miles birthday party takes a terrible turn, while Bob narrowly escapes a tumble. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/Cr2KNDaAcpg Miles birthday party takes a terrible turn, while Bob narrowly escapes a tumble. [su_qrcode data="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/02/17/clotted/" title="Clotted" link="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/02/17/clotted/" ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————- Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be. Miss Nakamoto, you're beautiful. Science! Hey everyone, this is Miles. Was that Thomas Dolby? You blinded me with science. You blinded me with science. What was the emotion? Yeah, that was a great song. Yeah, I know. Weird, very weird. Even for the time, I mean, people go back and think, oh, that's normal. No, it's not. That was not normal. Oh, yeah. That was weird. Yeah. Miles, miles, miles. Should we start with the fun stuff and then move to the depressing things? Yeah, if you want. Let's do it. Well, I was… Miles had a birthday recently. And given what has transpired over the last, what, 80, 96 hours. Yeah. I've come to the conclusion that I am psychic. Psychic.
Well, I don't know about that. Yeah, no, I'm psychic. You are psychic. Okay, let's hear this. Because of what happened. I didn't predict anything, but I took action when normally I would have not taken action. Yeah, okay. So Miles tells me, hey, it's my birthday coming up. I'm going to go down to this place, pinball place, and you want to meet up there on my birthday. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that sounds interesting. Now, this is like two and a half or more hours from where I live. Yeah. And you're like, oh, they don't open until like five fucking o'clock. Okay. That's not my fault, but yeah. No, I know, but I'm just saying. And so I'm like, Oh God, that means, well, I can get there, but then how, you know, I don't want to spend the night. Right. Right. Cause you know, I like my, I like my bed. Right. And, uh, and so I'm like, ah, two and a half hours. Which normally I probably would have passed.
But I was thinking about it, and I said, okay. Yeah. I go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. He'll keep calling. Yeah. Yeah. Fair. So I agreed and I said I would go. Yeah. So I left early. I actually was late because I didn't leave as early as I wanted to leave. But because there's I didn't realize it, but there's absolutely fuck all nothing between where I live and where you live. Right. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Uh, and so, uh, I finally make it and you know, then at that point i have to pee like really bad and i'm almost out of gas because there's not a goddamn gas station between here and there. And, you know, it's like, it's like the people, you know, it's like living in the Amish, you know, neighborhood or something. It's like, everybody's just got a horse and buggy or something. Yeah. I'm driving along. It was actually a nice
drive on the way there. Cause it was, sun was shining, you know, I, I cut out across country for the shortest route, you know, I was in the middle of nowhere and, uh, and it was pretty nice. So then I get there. It's like, I really got a piss. Um, because there's, I mean, I could have pissed on the side of the road, I guess, but the closer I got to the destination, like the more sketchy it got, it was like, there was nothing. And then now all of a sudden I'm in the heart of Gotham city with chemical plants everywhere. Right. You know, the Joker's going to pop out and get me or something, you know? So I had to wait till I, then when I got to the destination, then I had to drive two miles to find a gas station. I'm like, I looked at my phone, like there's no closer gas station. Yeah. How do those people live?
I don't know. I was like, I'm like, well, there's a Casey's down here, which that was my, there was some other like no name off brand, you know, called like Chuck's gas or something. It was a little bit closer, but I'm like, Chuck's gas doesn't sound like it has a nice bathroom. Chuck's gas sounds like Chuck's gas sounds like there's a camera. In the bathroom, you know what I mean? Your poop, yeah. Yeah, and so he's like, I let everybody use the bathroom for free because I make money on the internet. Only fans. So, yeah, I'm like, yeah, Chuck's gas ass cam. So I go to Casey's. So then at this point, I'm late, but then the reality is you were late as well, so
I was bringing a whole crew of people. Well, that's true. You had more, more. I was just by myself. There are loads of people. Yeah. So then we get there and I get to the place. And the first thing I'm faced with is like death stares. I'm like, it's like you walk in the door and you can't go forward. It says, go downstairs. Right. And, i opened the door, and i'm like, holy fuck, this is like steep yeah it's the it seemed rickety, and the handrail is like made for like children under five or something. I couldn't even hold on to it. Yeah, I mean, it's old, yeah. I was like, holy hell is this is gonna do me in i'm gonna take a header down this, and it's like 20 feet or something. It wasn't even like a regular depth.
It is not ADA accessible. No, it's not. No elevator, no… One of those little things, a chair you can sit in and take down. And I've, you know, I've got bad knees, and so I'm like, holy shit, okay, I'm going down. And then I get down, and it's like silence to the lambs. I was expecting somebody to walk around the corner with night vision goggles on. All tucked in. Yeah. That would be you. Yeah, that'd be me. Yeah. So I make my way around this kind of labyrinthian basement area. And there you are with your family. Hey, you made it. It's like, yeah, barely. I was waiting for these stairs to turn into a slide for Christ's sake. welcome Mr. Bond. Yeah. And somebody goes, let's start running so so then yeah this is where you become a real asshole, by the way. Yeah. Go ahead. I was an asshole. Keep going. Yeah. So then i said hi to everybody and, oh, we mean my drink.
Yeah, I was waiting for you to get the whole drink. It's a bar, and so they have all kinds of good stuff, I'm sure. But I'm like, I'm very particular. If no one's ever listened to this show, let me tell you. What could martini please shake? I'm very particular about everything. And so I'm like, well, do you got anything with a zero? And then the guy was just like confused as hell. Huh? He's like, well, like, you don't want any calories? I'm like, no, no, with a zero on the label. Yeah, you threw that dude completely. Yeah, he's like, he didn't even know what the hell I was talking about. Here's a diet. No. No, not a diet. I want zero. Coke zero or Sprite zero. Listen, now, I'm going to tell you this, money puppy. People…
I guess people don't realize that there's a big difference between a diet soda and a zero sugar soda. Yeah, because then you're giving like the whole chemical breakdown. Like, this has more than an inch share. Well, diet sodas typically have saccharin or some, but all the zero ones have aspartame. Right. But it's not just aspartame. It's a whole concoction of things to make it taste a certain way. Mm-hmm. And I was, I kind of tried to get that across, but he was not having any of it. I mean, this did not seem like a gentleman that was like, you know, low functioning. Like I, you know, no, he seemed like a nice enough guy, but he knew his sodas. So, you know what I'm saying? I was like, Oh, he didn't give a shit what I was talking about. That's for sure. Oh, here's a diet, ma'am. So it brought his pushy. Yeah. So I just got some water.
I mean, you'd think I was, like, you know, pissing on his parade there. Yeah, and then you're like, can I have some Perrier water? Well, I thought maybe he had a bottle of water, but no, I just got whatever spill was out of the thing on the… Do you have Poland Springs, perhaps? I need, yeah, Dasani, or, yeah, I don't want Dasani. Do you have any Voss? Yeah. Oh, gosh. I would really love to have some Evian, but, you know, Yeah, you would have completely thrown them on that one. Yeah, I'd love to have some water from the French Alps, but yeah, or Fiji, Fiji water. Yeah. So yeah, I was a little embarrassed. Like, oh, geez. Yeah. So then you're like, you're like trying to corral me. I'm like, no, no, you see, it's got a zero.
Most people would have just like, you know what? Yeah, let's just throw in the towel and you're going to sit there and debate it. Like, okay. No, listen, mate. I'm going to tell you this one more time. I didn't realize it was going on for that long. It's like some Monty Python debate going on here. Then we sat down there for a while and then we were going to go play some pinball. And I'm like, well, You know, where are we going for that? Up another fucking flight of stairs. Yeah. Crazy. And I don't know if you saw it or not, but there's a bathroom down there, like in the basement, but you're not allowed to poop in it. I didn't see that. Thank goodness. You cannot poop in there. They said they'll watch you if you poop. Yeah, well, I mean, it was all… It's a little different. It's a little quirky. Yeah, so then I have to track up this…
A totally different pair of rickety stairs. Yeah. And then when we get up there, it's like pitch fucking black. Yeah, it's dark up there. Walls are painted black. And I'm like, my eyes. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm like, is Marcellus Wallace going to be in one of these rooms tied to a log or something? All the light is from, like, the pinball machines, basically. Yeah, that's it. pretty much for most of it. It's weird. It's like, it's almost like root, like little bedrooms or something with video games in it or something. Yeah. They're tiny. They're little rooms. You're right. Except for the big room, but there's a
