To book Services with Frankie such as Life Coaching, an Intuitive Session, or FNMAT go to her website iamperfectlyfrank.com
LET YOURSELF GET UNCOMFORTABLE AND OBSERVE WHAT IS HAPPENING...YOU CAN CHANGE HOW YOU REACT
This episode is an excerpt from the recording session for the audio book version of "The Man, He's Stupid, And The Girl, She's So Bitch: Relationship Wisdom From My Chaldean Mother." Frankie, Cheri and Rachel were reading this excerpt of the book:
Cheri: “I had a therapist once tell me something super useful and it's exactly like what you're saying…He said the truth is that there is even a millisecond of space between the thing that happens and your reaction. It's so quick, so often that we don't sense it, we don't look for it, because nobody told us that it's there, but there is a split second in between the thing that happens, the stimulus, and our response…so that you have a moment to really choose how you want to feel. “What do I want to feel here so that I’m not then at the affect of everything that happens the instant that it happens?””
After Cheri reads this part from the book Frankie explains once you start catching that moment, and it will take practice to catch it, ultimately we can catch it and shorten it, it no longer becomes “the thing” because now we know how to catch it. "The way we do anything is the way we do everything" Frankie says. The repetition causes the bigger problem but if we catch it it no longer becomes an issue. Frankie says often we need the help of another person to purge it, to get it out, as Frankie's mother would say "Talk to a stranger" they are less judgemental. Rachel asks if that is why people are losing friends right now? Frankie advises to just put space between you. "Set them free allowing for them to have their own experience." Cheri explains "People like for us to stay in the roles they are comfortable with...so when we change they naturally fall off." Rachel says "The first no is always the hardest" but it gets better. Frankie says what will happen is you now have this wonderful space that you can fill at your will. Some people say they have issues making new friends but you have to let it be, don't force it. Rachel says she feels like there is a stress on that for younger women who are dating because they are scared they won't find another man but it is okay to say no, create the space for what you do want. Frankie exclaims "You can always have what you want!" Get clear on what you want and then surrender to the different ways it may come to you. Come from a space of love and faith, be comfortable in being uncomfortable, don't be afraid to say no, be willing to walk away. Then they discuss mom guilt and being uncomfortable in that space with our kids. Frankie mentions "showing our kids the way through love..." not from what society paved for us.
