This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, June 7th, 2023 at 11:30am ET on Fireside Chat. Today’s guest is Jessica Depatie, Executive Producer of Dark Night of Our Soul. For more information about Jessica Depatie's work, visit https://www.shadowmedia.group/links. Lorilee Binstock 00:00:35 Welcome. I'm Lorilee Binstock and this is A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me live on Fireside chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual audience. I am your host. Flor then stock. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest questions by requesting to hop on stage, but I do ask that everybody be respect Today's guest is Jessica Defeats executive producer of dark of our soul. She's also the host of shadow work library podcast. And she's is actually a shadow work educator, Jessica, thank you so much. For joining me today. Oh, I think I actually pop you off stage. Are you there? Jessica Depatie 00:01:39 Hi. Can you hear me? Lorilee Binstock 00:01:40 Hi. Yeah I could hear you. How are you? Thank you so much for joining me today. Jessica Depatie 00:01:46 Thank you so much for having me and what's cool off where I'm all about this. Lorilee Binstock 00:01:50 I know it it's actually really, really cool. You people can pop in and pop out and and listen to replay and join in on the conversation, which I really love because I I feel like a lot of people are interested in and taught and talking to a lot of my guests about you know, things that are this that they're doing how people are healing. And you you are a shadow work educator, which I think is really cool. And so I wanna learn more about that, but I also wanna know a little bit about your story and what got you into this work. Jessica Depatie 00:02:19 Okay. Great. So wow where do we start? You know, it's interesting that we're having this conversation on your show, the trauma survivor podcast because my story isn't that remarkable, but I think it's a common I I think that's why it's worth sharing. The lack of Lorilee Binstock 00:02:38 Absolutely. Jessica Depatie 00:02:40 extravagant around it, and more the the universal story that Lorilee Binstock 00:02:47 Yep. Jessica Depatie 00:02:47 everybody has trauma, you know, and the documentary that we're working on right now, one of the experts, Anderson Todd, who is the assistant director of wisdom and consciousness studies out of you know, received Toronto. He says nobody gets out of the parking lot without putting dungeon in the car. Right? Lorilee Binstock 00:03:02 I saw. Jessica Depatie 00:03:04 And so... That is that is my story. Lorilee Binstock 00:03:05 That was I was like that's so accurate. Jessica Depatie 00:03:07 Yeah. And so my story. Is basically growing up I felt like there was a purpose to the trials that I would put myself in, You know? A lot of the traumatic experiences that when my experience happen to us. And it's kind of a fabric the fabric of our human experience. You know, challenges happen. And some are very remarkable in some, like mine are just like, you know, my mom was she's Korean, and she felt strange in a new country, And I adopted that feeling strange but in my own country, you know? And so the traumatic experience that I had was having a really strong platform that I'm Lorilee Binstock 00:04:00 Mhmm Jessica Depatie 00:03:58 not accepted that I am rejected and I would put myself in a lot of situations where I would reject people before it they rejected me, and that was a coping mechanism that I learned later on, by Yeah. For me, was some pretty severe bullying and like, isolation from about the fourth grade, the eighth grade and crystal it myself that I'm weird. I'm unwanted And so Yeah. I just realized in that experience now looking in hindsight and having that really affect me as an adult. I needed to look at what is this? You know? There aren't... There weren't a ton of resources. I Didn't even think I needed a resource. To resolve that. And so that's how I started getting into shadow work. Because as I grew up, got in high school god university. I then realized that I am intentionally putting myself into these situations are harmful for myself. Why am I doing that? Because I'm definitely learning from all these experiences of and is this the way to learn is obstacle really the way? Is there a silver lining to of this? So that's what I've been exploring. Basically, as my life's work since Lorilee Binstock 00:05:09 that's fascinating. You know, that's really interesting. You say, you no, it's not that extravagant, you know, your life story, but your story is Jessica Depatie 00:05:16 Right. Lorilee Binstock 00:05:16 so many other people's stories. I feel like a lot of people you know, where I And in tell many different ways, feel isolated. They feel like an outsider. And they feel different, and that makes them feel weird. And, you know, I've I felt like that as well. I'm a I'm a child of imagery immigrant parent. And it did it did feel. You know, I I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida. And I at that time, there there want a lot of other Filipino in where I live I live by the beach. And so I didn't realize that I would Jessica Depatie 00:05:51 Well Lorilee Binstock 00:05:53 I was different until, you know, Jessica Depatie 00:05:59 eva. Lorilee Binstock 00:05:56 it was pointed out to me and then I was like, oh, I I'm different. I didn't realize that. So I feel like there are people, especially, you know, in fourth grade. That, you know, that feel different, but they don't know why. And I I've I I'm so fascinated. When did you feel? When you were an adult, when you needed to explore this, And how did you decide, like, okay, I'm gonna do shadow work is there someone that you met or you talk to? Who introduce you to this. Jessica Depatie 00:06:27 So I would say when I was younger, I went in a really locked into an observer period. Lorilee Binstock 00:06:36 Mhmm. Jessica Depatie 00:06:35 When might call that dis, but it was very top down experience of my own life. And constantly thinking, like, what is wrong with me that people don't wanna talk to me? At this point right now, I know that it was my own platform, and that I like, created that existence for myself. As a kid, you know, I'm just, like, why am I so weird? Like, what is up with this? And having every lunch but I was just, like, tread research Lorilee Binstock 00:07:00 Mm-mm. Jessica Depatie 00:06:59 adding lunch because I'd have to sit by myself and all of that. And just constantly thinking, like, there's something wrong with me. I have to figure this out. I have to figure this out. So when I went to a different school, in high school. Like, I'm going to be different. I know I'm an extra extroverted person. I know that I can have conversations with people. I know that I'm another version of myself i
