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Picture this: Tom Brady, the greatest quarterback of all time, is taking a leisurely stroll with his new dog, Junie. Junie, by all appearances, is your average happy pit bull, just with a nose for winning — and perhaps an internal sense of “The Brady Way.” If you’re thinking, “Why on earth should I care about Tom Brady getting a new dog?”—brace yourself. Because Junie is not just any dog. Junie is a clone. Yes—Tom Brady revealed this week that his furry friend is a genetic copy of his previous pet, “Luo” who died in 2023. Brady actually used a biotech company—one he’s invested in, because of course—to clone his late beloved pitbull. It’s the ultimate act of football-fueled devotion: not just winning Super Bowls, but beating the very concept of saying goodbye to man’s best friend.
Just imagine Brady’s pitch to the cloning company. “Listen, I’ve come back from 28-3 in the Super Bowl, I’ve come out of retirement, and I once survived life with Bill Belichick. What I can’t handle is burying my dog. Can you run it back, science?” So now we have Junie: the same soulful eyes, same wiggly tail, probably the same uncanny ability to fetch deflated footballs. I’m not sure whether to be impressed or terrified that Brady’s circle of trust now includes scientists with access to CRISPR, a petri dish, and a locker full of French bulldog DNA.
You have to wonder: when Junie misbehaves and chews on a Lombardi Trophy, does Brady scold him or just buy another gene sequence? Are there backup Junies stored away for next season in case this one pulls a hamstring? Is Belichick calling up the cloning lab to see if he can get another Tom?
Meanwhile, this raises every imaginable philosophical question. Is it still your dog, if you have to recreate him in a lab? Would a cloned Boston terrier from Tom Brady need to wear a tiny cut-off hoodie when it’s cold? And where do we draw the line? If clones can play fetch, can they also learn to deflate footballs on command? Asking for a friend in Foxborough.
Let’s face it: nobody really needs to know that Tom Brady’s latest teammate is his clone dog. But in a world of weird news, this one’s a first-ballot Hall of Famer. So next time someone says, “There will never be another dog like him,” you can confidently reply, “Unless you’re Tom Brady — in which case, there will be as many as you’re willing to buy.”
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This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
