This is your Modern Women's Podcast podcast.
Welcome to the Modern Women’s Podcast, where we get to the heart of how women’s lives are transforming—especially in our relationships. Today we’re diving straight in: the role of women in modern relationships isn’t just changing; it’s being rewritten by women every day, from New York to Beijing, thanks to shifting expectations, feminism, and the realities of work and love in 2025.
Let’s talk honestly—generations ago, our grandmothers were often expected to be the nurturers, to wait for courtship and focus on the home while men were the providers. That script was reinforced everywhere from fairy tales to family dinners. But fast forward to today, and those old boundaries just don’t fit who we are. We’re expected to have thriving careers, be supportive partners, and raise incredible kids, all while being self-sufficient and empowered. The phrase “having it all” sounds liberating, but so many of us know the pressure and exhaustion behind it.
Modern relationships now mean negotiating everything—finances, household labor, emotional support, and even who initiates the first “I love you.” Recent research highlighted by professional matchmaker Nick Notas reveals that 70% of singles believe the gap between men and women’s relationship expectations is actually growing. Women face a double bind: too independent and you’re called intimidating, too traditional and suddenly you’re seen as dependent. And let’s be real—a lot of us are tired of choosing between being appreciated for our independence and risking our needs getting lost in the process.
The question of who pays on a date or who should take the lead is complicated by conflicting messages. We’re told “split the bill to show equality,” but traditional gestures like having someone else plan the date still appeal to many. Social media throws us another curveball, constantly feeding us curated images of “perfect” relationships that only add anxiety and self-doubt. We end up comparing real life with someone else’s highlight reel.
This is where the issues of so-called partial feminism come in, as authors like Arlie Hochschild and sources examining trends worldwide have pointed out. Sometimes, women reject old traditions—like being financially dependent—yet still end up taking on unpaid emotional labor or feeling they should be the “cool girl” who makes things easy for men. It’s empowerment on paper, but in practice, women are often still doing more and getting less.
So how do we break out of this? The answer starts with honest conversations and letting go of rigid scripts. Instead of defaulting to what your parents did or what Instagram says is “relationship goals,” define partnership for yourself. True equality means sharing both the fun and the work, emotional and financial. There’s power in appreciating each other’s strengths without turning relationships into silent competitions.
Today I want you to think about this: in your relationship, do you feel your needs and contributions are truly valued—by both you and your partner? Are you operating from a place of partnership, or are you unconsciously following a script that doesn’t fit? The only rule that matters is the one you and your partner create together.
Thank you for tuning in to Modern Women’s Podcast. Make sure to subscribe, share, and keep the conversation going. This has been a Quiet Please production, for more check out quietplease dot ai.
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