Don’t preen yourself on any distinction that is not your own. If the preening horse should say “I am beautiful,” it would be acceptable. But when you are preening and say, “I have a beautiful horse,” admit that you are preening yourself on a good quality that belongs to the horse. What, then, is your own? The management of impressions. So whenever you are in harmony with nature in the way you perform this function, that’s the time to preen yourself; for then you will have a good thing that is your own to preen yourself on. (Ench 6)
Don’t preen yourself on any distinction that is not your own. If the preening horse should say “I am beautiful,” it would be acceptable. But when you are preening and say, “I have a beautiful horse,” admit that you are preening yourself on a good quality that belongs to the horse. What, then, is your own? The management of impressions. So whenever you are in harmony with nature in the way you perform this function, that’s the time to preen yourself; for then you will have a good thing that is your own to preen yourself on. (Ench 6)
If Epictetus were teaching today, he would probably not choose a horse as the object of his lesson. Instead, he might say, “Don’t preen yourself on your expensive sports car, sparking diamond bracelet, large, finely appointed house, etc., because the good qualities of those possessions do not belong to you.” The object does not matter; the lesson remains the same.
Preening Oneself
The first thing we need to do with this lesson is to understand the meaning of the word “preen” in this passage. Most translators use the English word “elated” in Encheiridion 6. However, A.A. Long chose the word “preen” for his translation, and I think his choice brings out the whole meaning of this passage.
When I referred to my resources, I discovered the Greek verb used in this passage means to “lift up and set on.”[1] There are two aspects of this verb: to lift up and to set on. Therefore, Epictetus is doing more than warning us not to feel a sense of elation or pride when we look at our expensive sports car, sparking diamond bracelet, large, finely appointed house, etc. We could feel that sense of elation or pride while we’re alone, lying in bed, or daydreaming sitting in a park. The word “elated” seems to overlook the public aspect of this passage, and that may be why A.A. Long chose the word “preen.”
The online Oxford Learner’ Dictionaries offers the following definition of preen when used as a transitive verb, which is the case in this passage:
[transitive] preen yourself (on something) (usually disapproving) to feel very pleased with yourself about something and show other people how pleased you are.[2]
That definition helps us understand Encheiridion 6. Epictetus is warning us not to show off our possessions as if their good qualities somehow transfer to us and lift us up in the eyes of others. The word “preen” is often used to describe a person grooming and admiring himself or herself in a mirror. But that’s not the whole meaning here. Likewise, the word “preen” may bring to mind the myth of Narcissus. Many of you are likely familiar with that Greek myth, from which we get the psychological construct of the Narcissist. Narcissus was a beautiful young man who wandered upon a still pool of water while he was hunting. When he saw his own reflection in the pool of water, he fell in love with it and remained there staring at it for the remainder of his life.
While Narcissus was quite happy to remain at the pool, staring at and loving his reflection, that is not the point of Epictetus’ lesson. However, with some modification and modernization of that myth, we can make Epictetus’ point clear.
Imagine a modern version of Narcissus who walks into their bathroom one day and sees their reflection in the mirror. They feel elated by their own beauty. WOW, they think, I look hot. So, they pull their smartphone out and take a photo of themselves in the mirror. After admiring the picture for a second, they post it on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media platforms. Why? Because they want others to see how attractive they are. They are trying to lift themselves up by setting their attractiveness on display for others to see. They want others to attribute their beauty to them so they will be lifted up in the eyes of others. At this point, you might be thinking, but that is their attractiveness; that is a quality that belongs to them. Not exactly. Here is Epictetus on the topic:
But what does Zeus have to say about this? ‘If it had been possible, Epictetus, I would have ensured that your poor body and petty possessions were free and immune from hindrance. But as things are, you mustn’t forget that this body isn’t truly your own, but is nothing more than cleverly moulded clay. (Discourses 1.1.10-11)
According to Stoicism, our body is not up to us. We do not create our bodies. Yes, we take care of our body, and we can make it look better in some ways. Nevertheless, we are not in complete control of what happens to our bodies, and we cannot prevent them from getting sick, broken, or old. In Encheiridion 1, our body is the first item on the list of things that are not up to us.
If you prefer a more analogous modern equivalent, I will offer the person who takes a photo of his flashy sports car or her shiny diamond bracelet and posts it on social media for others to admire and envy. Again, they want others to think highly of them because of the possessions they own. My purpose here is not to analyze why people behave this way. Instead, I am interested in the reason Epictetus warns us about doing so. That brings us to the next concept in this passage we need to examine.
Qualities that do not belong to us.
Yes, you own a flashy red sports car, but Epictetus would tell you the qualities of that car do not belong to you; they belong to the sports car.
That’s a beautiful diamond bracelet you own, Epictetus might say, but that beauty does not belong to you; it belongs to the bracelet.
I hope you’re starting to get the point. The qualities of our possessions, even the qualities of our body, are not ours, and they are not up to us. Therefore, we are mistaken when we attempt to lift ourselves up in the eyes of others by wrongly thinking we can transfer the good qualities of our possessions to our soul or self.
Sadly, there is a reasonable motive for the behavior Epictetus is warning us against in Encheiridion 6. People do judge us based on our looks and possessions. Our character is not typically the first quality society uses to evaluate us. In fact, a person’s character may be several places down the list of qualities most people look for in a friend, life partner, employee, etc. Here’s an experiment you can try to prove this point. Tell a young man you want to introduce him to a young woman you know. Then say, “She’s really sweet and a good person.” What image just popped in his head? You know what he’s imagining, and it’s not a gorgeous female who looks great in yoga pants. Do the same with a young woman. Hey, I think you should meet my friend. I think you’ll like him. “He’s a really nice guy and a good person.” What image just popped into her head. She’s probably not picturing a hot guy with a muscular physique and a flashy sports car.
Even though we described both people with positive character traits, we may not get an immediate positive response. Why? A good character may not make the top three traits on their list. I don’t think that’s because people consistently undervalue character. I think it has more to do with the images our society offers as “good.” Movies, television, and commercials sell us images of the “good,” and we unconsciously buy into them. Additionally, we cannot see a person’s character immediately, so we look for other qualities to quickly determine another person’s value.
In the West, in particular, we were raised to identify the value of other people by their appearance, job, clothing, the car they drive, the house they own, etc. Pick up any success book, and you will likely come across some version of the “fake it till you make it” strategy for success. What is that? It’s a tactic whereby you wear nice clothes, an expensive watch, and drive an expensive car to leave others with the impression you are already successful, even though you haven’t arrived yet. You fake it till you make it. Success books typically offer this tactic to salespeople where their image is thought to influence potential buyers. Many real estate agents and outside sales professionals employ this tactic, and it works. If you’re interviewing real estate agents to sell your house, you’re more likely to pick the one who drives up in a Mercedes wearing nicely fitted clothing over the Honda Prius driving disheveled looking realtor.
We tend to make assumptions about people based on their appearance, which may not be justified at all. As Stoics, we must look beyond the façade and attempt to see a person’s character, and we cannot judge character by appearance. Consider Socrates. He was a pretty homely guy based on historical accounts, and he didn’t dress for success. If a modern equivalent to Socrates approached you today, would you ignore him based on his appearance and attire? I suspect most of us would.
Before we move on, I want to make one point clear. The Stoics were not opposed to having possessions. Yes, they prescribed ascetic practices for training purposes, but they were not renunciates. In reference to another passage in the Discourses where Epictetus warned about placing value on possessions, the Stoic Scholar A.A. Long wrote:
Does it not follow, then, that Stoic philosophy taught the utter indifference of owning and protecting property? It does not follow, and that for two reasons. The first reason is that, though wealth, as an external commodity, has no moral value in Stoicism, it has instrumental value for `living in agreement with nature',
