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Chapter 25
The big room emptied, and the hallway and stairwell filled with the footsteps and commotion that always came when everyone filtered out from morning Instructives to their different ministries.
Hannah kept her eyes low and followed the footsteps to the schedule board.
She wanted to be small, invisible, didn’t want anyone to talk to her because, being on silent punishment as she was, she wasn’t allowed to return the conversation, and that was embarrassing.
The assignment board said she was in the kitchen again, and for this, Hannah almost smiled.
Normally, when you were in trouble, except for the days of raising money, you were put to cleaning toilets, scrubbing floors, or any other of the yuck jobs around, usually for weeks at a time.
But since Morningstar was her full-time Keeper, and maybe because Morningstar didn’t deserve to do the low jobs, they’d let Hannah stay on normal assignments instead, which was a relief.
Hannah pushed open the kitchen door expecting to find Morningstar waiting, but so far, only Uncle Hez was there.
Hannah nodded. Hez already knew she was on silence, so he sent her to sort vegetables in the lean-to pantry.
That was the yuck job of the kitchen, sorting vegetables.
It meant digging through what was rotten, sometimes even with maggots or other bugs, to find what was still worth eating.
It was a little tricky to find the balance, because lots of things Hannah didn’t want to eat were still considered edible, and if you threw away too much, Hez got mad.
She was sorting through a box of tomatoes, fingers covered in mush, when the screen door banged open and Morningstar stepped into the lean-to.
“Elijah wants to see you,” she said. “He’s in his room.”
Since Hannah was allowed to talk to Morningstar, she said, “Should I finish this first?”
“No,” Morningstar said, so Hannah put down the bucket, turned on the tap of the outside sink, and washed her hands.
She didn’t look up when she walked back through the kitchen. The rest of the crew was there.
They knew she was in trouble, and Hannah was pretty sure they also knew she’d been summoned for another talk, and she didn’t want to see them stare after her as she went.
Hannah walked slowly to the back door, her stomach turning cartwheels, the sick feeling coming all the way up to her throat.
Her heart was pounding very hard, as if it were beating against a wall and trying to escape through it.
In her mind a thousand thoughts flew by, every possible thing she could have done wrong in the last few days.
She’d not talked to anyone. She’d not disobeyed. She’d shown a meek and humble spirit.
She’d written good and honest reactions to every Instructive in order to show that she’d truly taken in the words of The Prophet. And she had been very, very yielded.
But, even still, it could be anything, and there was nothing good that ever came out of a talk.
Elijah’s room was in the annex, around the corner from the ten-to-twelves, and when Hannah reached it, she knocked quietly on the door.
He said, “Open,” and she stepped inside. The room had a double bed, and very close, with almost no walking space, a small desk.
Elijah was sitting on the chair beside the desk, and Auntie Sunshine was sitting on the bed. Seeing Sunshine here was a surprise.
Sunshine patted the bed and said, “Sit down, sweetie.”
Hannah’s stomach jumped again. Nice words or even nice gestures were often the thing that came before trouble.
She sat slowly, folded her hands in her lap, and waited for someone to talk.
“I have a letter from your dad,” Elijah said.
Hannah nodded, and reached for the paper that he held out to her, which was really a printed-out e-mail that Elijah and Sunshine had obviously already read.
There was no way they would have called her in here just to give her a letter, but still, it felt good that her dad had written,
and since Elijah and Sunshine still didn’t say anything, she knew they were waiting for her to read what it said before they started talking.
There wasn’t much to the e-mail, just a couple of paragraphs about how busy he was and how much he missed her, how proud of her he was for letting him go do the Lord’s work,
and that he had put her in the Lord’s hands and trusted those who made decisions for her, that they were doing what was best.
That’s how all her dad’s letters were, they never really said anything, and even if she really, really tried to read between the lines, she might only find a possibility of some extra meaning.
But it was nice to hear from him, nice to be remembered, and it made her throat hurt and feel all tight.
She put the page down on the bed so that Elijah and Sunshine would know that she had finished,
and then, right on time, Elijah said, “Honey, we’re going to be sending you away from the Haven for a little while.”
A million questions danced around in Hannah’s head, but there were very few she would be allowed to ask,
so she paused, and with what she was sure would be seen as a humble spirit, said, “Because of my sins?”
Elijah smiled, and it was a funny smile, almost like he was laughing at her, but it was better than if he was angry.
“No, sweetie, not because of that,” he said. “Our vicious enemies, the ones who have spent so much time trying to get you, are on the attack again, and there might be raids.
“We want to keep you safe and away from it all, so that’s why.”
Hannah felt sad, repentant, and it was such a heavy weight.
The Havens and The Prophet suffered so much because of her, and because of her evil mother from the Void who used the police and Antichrist governments to persecute The Chosen.
She and her dad had to move often, and the Havens went to great lengths to keep her safe from the Void.
Even The Prophet knew about her situation, and that made her current sins so much worse, because it showed she didn’t appreciate the sacrifices made for her.
“Is it my Void mother again?” Hannah asked.
“We’re not really sure who it is this time,” Elijah said,
“but the Lord and The Prophet showed us to expect it, so we are making preparations.”
“Where will I go?” Hannah said. “Will I travel without my dad?”
“Your dad’s given his blessing,” Elijah said. “But since he can’t travel with you, you’ll stay in the city— just not in a Haven, and Sunshine will go with you instead.”
That explained why Sunshine was here.
“Right now?” Hannah asked.
“We have Sponsors stopping by sometime today or tomorrow, and they’ll take you to a safe place.”
The experience of what had happened the last time Hannah had visited Sponsors with Sunshine was still fresh and raw,
and the memories wrapped around her neck like two large hands that cut off her air, and made her feel as if she would suffocate.
She wasn’t supposed to ask questions, but the fear of one overpowered the fear of the other, and without thinking she blurted, “Will I have to share the Lord’s Love again?”
The response to her question was silence.
Sunshine’s face clouded, and Hannah recognized the look— it was what adults did when they were thinking about how to get out of a sticky situation.
But Elijah’s expression really scared her, because he looked absolutely puzzled, like he had no idea what Hannah was talking about.
This meant two things. The first was that maybe Rachel hadn’t reported on her. Maybe it was some other disobedience she was in trouble for.
But worse, it meant that Sunshine, even though she lived in this Haven, was higher than Elijah, and the only way that could happen was that she reported directly to The Prophet.
That meant that if Hannah were to leave the Haven with Sunshine, Sunshine basically owned her,
because nobody would cross someone who reported directly to The Prophet.
The fear was overwhelming and Hannah fought back the tears. She was more helpless than helpless.
She didn’t want to leave the Haven. Didn’t want to go anywhere alone with Sunshine, and Hannah wanted to believe that if her dad were here, this would never happen.
At least with her dad, she could beg him to intercede, beg that he be the one to go with her instead of Sunshine, which was something she couldn’t do with her mom, because her mom would just tell her to be yielded and to obey.
These insights came in a flash, and Hannah, frantic to find a way to appease Sunshine, to get on the good side of this woman, who, after today or tomorrow would have full and single control of her life, began to try to back out of her question, but Sunshine spoke first.
“Oh, sweetie,” Sunshine said, “it’s nothing like that. We’re going to go to a hotel for a few weeks,
“just to keep out of sight and keep you protected because the Lord and The Prophet told us to prepare for raids, that’s all.”
Hannah nodded. She wanted to believe. Sunshine wouldn’t lie, would she?
They could lie to outsiders in the Void, but Chosen didn’t lie to Chosen.
If the adults didn’t want you to know something, they just rebuked you for asking. But maybe this was different.
Maybe Sunshine would lie because Elijah was here, and it was so obvious that Elijah wasn’t supposed to know anything. Did adults lie to adults?
Elijah cleared his throat, like apparently he was done with the topic and ready to move on to something else. Hannah tensed.
He said, “You understand, sweetie, that moving outside the Haven doesn’t change the lessons that you need to learn, right?
“We’re still very concerned about your spiritual health, and from some of the reports that I’ve received over the last few days, it seems you’re still letting the Devil into your life.”
Hannah didn’t say anything. Whatever it was she’d done this time, she was completely unaware of it.
Maybe the confusion showed on her face, or maybe a look of pure innocence, because Elijah continued.
“Many people have noticed a gloom on your countenance,” he said. “When you are full of the Lord’s spirit, it shows, and you’ve not been letting Jesus shine through you.
“You need to smile more, Hannah, and let others see Jesus in you.”
Hannah nodded.
There hadn’t been a whole lot to smile about lately, but that was never a basis or justification for letting her countenance darken.
No matter how sad, you couldn’t show it, it was very important that you smile and let Jesus shine through you always,
and with so much going on inside her heart these past few days, she had been careless about what showed on the outside.
“You can pack after lunch,” Elijah said. And when she’d nodded again, he said, “Now come give me a hug and show me that you’re right with the Lord.”
Hannah stood, leaned toward him, gave him a hug.
Elijah reached around, squeezed and patted her bottom, more of that uncomfortable kind of touch.
“The Bible says, ‘Whom the Lord loves, He chastens,’ ” Elijah said, “and we only punish you because we love you and want you to be the best that you can be for Jesus.”
Hannah returned to the kitchen as slowly as possible. The only thing waiting for her was rotten vegetables, so there was no reason to hurry,
and Hez couldn’t be mad if it was Elijah who’d called her away. Maybe, if she was lucky, Hez needed them right away and so had already sent someone else to do the sorting.
Hannah thought about all the things that Elijah had said, and as she always did whenever she was taken for a talk, or when any other piece of news came her way, she searched out whatever good she could find,
so that she could hold on to it and convince herself that everything was okay.
As long as she could make herself believe, then the sick feeling was controllable.
Hannah reached the kitchen, but before opening the door, she paused to make sure her countenance was right.
A half-smile would be enough. Too much would look fake and make it seem that she’d gotten into more trouble, and that would cause just as much of a problem.
Hand to the door, Hannah pushed it open, and every part of her body and every secret prayer reached toward Heaven in the hope that Sunshine had told the truth.
