Shows
Shutdown FullcastColorado's got a great gambling program- Welcome to coach-firing season! It's always coach-firing season!
- Time for the NCAA to acknowledge student-gambler-athletes
- Oh no, it's Auburn vs. Pitt week
- No Week 2 football games previewed, because there are no guarantees Week 2 exists
- Not that we'd preview football games anyway
- Join us in newly launched Moon Crew Discord via patreon.com/mooncrew!
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2020-09-091h 19
Shutdown FullcastDr. Pepper’s ’Zona Farts Club Plan- Week 0 recapped in terms of long snappers
- Holly has a new Jeff Fisher
- Technical Difficulties bingo: Jason's all cranky about being in a time delay
- Ryan's ongoing lifehack: wisely avoiding football
- Spencer shares the harrowing tale of the Poop Doctor
- Week 1 previewed, for like 30 seconds
- A lot of strolling around Wikipedia, putting ourselves in the line of royal succession, and other Week 1 prep
- Rate/review the Fullcast imho
- Subscribe to mooncrew.substack.com
- Support this show and actual good stuff via ko-fi.com/mooncrew
- Advertiser inquiries welcome at shutdownfullcast@gmail.co...
2020-09-021h 09
Shutdown FullcastAlso receiving votes: Jerry Falwell Jr.- A hastily assembled preseason top 25, prepared by our readers
- CENTRAL ARKANSAS IS IN YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW, AND THEY WANNA FIGHT
- Who is more 2020: Pitt, Ole Miss, or other?
- SNAPTIE
- Rate and review the Fullcast!
- Subscribe to mooncrew.substack.com!
- Let us know what you think of the Sinful Seven so far!
- Let us know what you might think of a Moon Crew Discord!
- Share this podcast with a friend, as if you are Jerry Falwell Jr.!
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2020-08-261h 15
Shutdown FullcastGOLF DISASTERSWelcome to GOLF CAMP
- The extended Fullcast-verse just raised $450,000 for refugee charity New American Pathways holy shit
- Subscribe to mooncrew.substack.com, new blog home for Spencer, Jason, Alex Kirshner, and Richard Johnson
- Golf history: far more violent than you'd expect
- The only way to stop golfing is to keep golfing
- Scottish Charles Barkley
- Phil Mickelson chooses to bomb not because it is easy, but because it is hard
- GOLF GEESE
- GOLF FOX
- GOLF DUCK
- Rate and review on podcast apps, if you please!
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2020-08-191h 32
Shutdown FullcastPreserving one weekend of college footballWe drafted 16 special games and placed them in a schedule
- But first, 40 minutes of whole other stuff happened
- The longest Podcast Business of all time
- We are all currently racing to Indianapolis to hide in a T-shirt warehouse
- 2020 Charity Bowl praising and ... encouragement
- So much Iowa, just generally so much Iowa
- Spencer makes the worst choice, which turns out to be the best choice
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2020-08-121h 21
Shutdown FullcastRanking the ACC by ACC Coastal-nessThe 2020 ACC Coastal preview has arrived as normal. Why wouldn't it?
- Our 2020 preview series incorporates the B.E.L.K. method
- "Moon Snakes"
- "Space Sandwich"
- "Nap House"
- Buy the Sinful Seven, a book you'll like by five people who did a good job making it
- All conference divisions are foolhardy
- How ACC Coastal is Notre Dame?
- Time to stress-test Homefield Apparel dot com's order-processing capability
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2020-08-071h 09
Shutdown FullcastPer Aspera Ad AstraThis is the end of a show that lasted longer and traveled farther than any of its hosts ever contemplated. Like most episodes themselves, that end is sudden and unexpected and may not make much sense to you. It contains answer to some questions, but not all of them, and gets bogged down with weird distractions. The moon is there, and so is Casio Dog, and the Fullcat, and Bobby Petrino. Welcome. This was the Shutdown Fullcast, and we hope you enjoyed it, because we sure as hell did.
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2020-04-221h 53
Shutdown FullcastA Survey of Dumb DogsLet us assemble to talk about the only pressing subject in college football or the world at large: dogs, and the very dumb things they eat/do/think. (WARNING: Also contains discussion of Spencer pooping outdoors.)
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2020-04-1549 min
Shutdown FullcastCollege football's Firefly FunhouseWhen you have to confront your evil self in a nightmare zone, that's a spring game.
Introducing MORON OPERA, America's finest storytelling mode
When a rasslin match convinces you the evil clown is the good guy
Florida faces its demons in the funhouse
NC State faces its horrifying LACK OF A FACE!
And a swamplord from USC's past returns with vengeance
Also, football coaches, please just read the card and stop ad-libbing about the pandemic, thanks
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2020-04-0857 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Shutdown Isolationcast, Cont'dOn this episode, Spencer and Holly talk to a real live medical doctor about Covid-19 and what you can do to help. Also, there are some very silly conversations about a medical drama starring SEC coaches, rat tails, Godfrey eating an unpleasant but not impossible amount of fast food for charity, and laser tag.
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2020-04-0156 min
Shutdown FullcastObey The Waffle House IndexAs the Shutdown Fullcast continues quarantine, we review the emergency status of the South's major breakfast chains, give you helpful Italian lessons, and ponder the meaning of unexpected knives. Don't worry if this description doesn't make sense. Nothing else does, either.
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2020-03-2555 min
Shutdown FullcastTampa Bay Tom, Prepper Types, and English Village/QB ProspectIf you're thinking this episode seems strangely like the episodes the Fullcast releases when the world's operating normally, consider this: we were preparing you all along! (We weren't. We don't plan that well.)
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2020-03-181h 33
Shutdown FullcastMASCOT DISASTERS PANTHEON: Are mascots having a moment?Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast, only Bill Simmons podcast, and only Ringer NBA podcast.
Today we're discussing:
An American rite of passage: having to sweat in a pig costume on a 95-degree day
Seriously, were all of you Piggly Wiggly mascots as kids
What to do when Hank Aaron sees you nude
What to do when you are a nude Willie the Wildcat
The Deontay Wilder entrance costume of dangerously slapped-together dragon mascots
"My mom managed a Big Dog Sportswear. Governor Schwarzenegger was coming to the mall."
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2020-03-1155 min
Shutdown FullcastCoaches as pro wrestlers: 2020 draftTime once again for the college football internet's single most reliable content: PICKING COACHES WHO SHOULD FIGHT EACH OTHER
Holly, Jason, and Spencer are each managing their own stables, drafting FBS head coaches to build five-man tag teams
You, the Podcast Readership, have also filled out a draft board and get a five-coach team of your own
Ryan is not here, so we're giving him all the lowest-voted coaches from your draft board
Ryan's team will be competing for the Intercontinental title at absolute most
Tell a friend about our stupid podcast!
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2020-03-041h 06
Shutdown FullcastYour Moments of LimitlessnessHot streaks are real. Everyone gets that moment - on a basketball court or in a casino or at work or wherever - where you just absolutely cannot be stopped. These are, in effect, the anti-disasters, in which you are the force to be reckoned with. We are here to celebrate those moments, in your lives and in the lives of college football players, even if sometimes they're just "I did this dumb thing multiple times and it didn't kill me!"
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2020-02-251h 11
Shutdown FullcastToo Many Coaches: A Trivia ContestJason quizzes Spencer and Holly on all the latest coaching carousel developments; like Nick Saban with a South Florida real estate deal, they struggle to break even but will hopefully get sweet national TV commercial gigs to help them out.
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2020-02-1836 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Romance Disasters EpisodeFebruary means Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day means romance, and the Shutdown Fullcast means disaster. We review your tales of amorous failure and share a few of our own. Please note: if you have used the Fullcast to find love of your own, we would love to hear about it and we will not be held responsible in the event of your breakup.
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2020-02-111h 06
Shutdown FullcastThe Only National Signing Day Podcast EpisodeSpencer and Holly are both out sick, so Jason and Ryan are joined by Banner Society's Alex Kirshner to talk about why Signing Day is suddenly a bad time for USC, what Georgia's rise as a talent state means, and what our individual college processes looked like. As a bonus, we're then joined by longtime contributor Brian Floyd to talk about the coaching change at Michigan State through the lens of "how could you drive an Acura to Africa from very very very far away?"
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2020-02-0454 min
Shutdown FullcastLive in Jacksonville (November 1, 2019)Way back in November, we went to Jacksonville and did a live show! I would be lying if I said i remembered the things that we talked about, although I know Florida disasters (football and otherwise) is on there. Also, UConn was playing Navy during the show. They lost by 46, which proves if your choice is come to a Fullcast live show or play Navy in football, you should pick the live show.
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2020-01-281h 17
Shutdown FullcastWho could go toe-to-toe with 2019 LSU?If you're Mike Bloomberg or someone associated with the Mike Bloomberg 2020 Campaign, don't read below this. Just reach out (compliance@bannersociety.com) and let's figure out how your money can become our money.
If you're not Mike Bloomberg, this episode is about theoretical matchups that would fluster 2019 LSU, and by theoretical we mean everything from very good Miami teams to time-traveling Derrick Henry clones. Does it make sense? More than our proposal for a top-loading microwave does!
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2020-01-2158 min
Shutdown FullcastDigesting the 2019 National ChampionshipIs Odell Beckham Jr. a robot who spits out currency compulsively? Which Olympian was Spencer completely dismissive towards? Why is every Boston College coach's name "[First Name] Boston" and do you care that we just made that up on our own? Is Robocop real and how did he get to New Orleans? Can God make Ed Orgeron so strong that even He can't pin Coach O?
Early in this episode, Spencer mentions the memorial fund for Ed Aschoff. If you're interested in donating but don't want to rewind to listen to him read the address, here you go: Donations to...
2020-01-1742 min
Shutdown FullcastYour 2019 National Championship Game PreviewLSU-Clemson promises to be an intriguing game, with plenty of skill talent, schematic variation, and narrative meat to enjoy. And we talk about a lot of those things, because this podcast can talk about football when it wants to, dammit!
But first we make you listen to some nonsense about the NFL playoffs, Nas, Ed Orgeron's shopping habits, Spencer's bare legs, and Pokemon. WELCOME!
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2020-01-081h 05
Shutdown FullcastEMERGENCY WET KIRBYCASTHolly and Spencer really just wanted to talk about the most important event of the bowl season: Kirby Smart taking the heaviest Gatorade bath of all time. (And the resulting stories of our worst workplace spills)
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2020-01-0218 min
Shutdown FullcastChristmas DisastersOn this episode, people are injured/attacked by brothers, birds, guns, knives, Nerf ammunition, fool's gravy, squirrels, fish bones, and The Emotional Expectations That Come With Christmas. It's fun!
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2019-12-311h 20
Shutdown Fullcast40 for 40, 2019 Edition: Which Bowl Foods would kill Ryan the quickest?Technically, this is the bowl preview episode that contains both semifinal games. You will therefore not be surprised to learn that we spent most of our time discussing Potato Bowl recipes, Outback menu nutrition information, and whether all citrus fruits are actually just oranges. You're welcome!
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2019-12-2738 min
Shutdown Fullcast40 for 40, 2019 Edition: The Gamification of Bowl GamesRejoice! The 40 for 40 moves to the location-based bowls, including the Arizona, Belk, Birmingham, Camping World, Mobile, Music City, Sun, and Texas. Somehow, these bowls are turned into a progressively harder video game of sorts, which ends with Jimbo Fisher buying someone else's hair.
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2019-12-2558 min
Shutdown Fullcast40 for 40, 2019 Edition: The Intensely Geopolitical Bowl PreviewAt least two things happen on this episode:
The Alamo, Armed Forces, Cheez-It, First Responder, Independence, Liberty, and Military Bowls are mentioned in some way.
We trade Missouri for Mexico.
Which one of those two is worse for national unity? Hard to say. We'll look back in ten or twenty years and know the answer, though, so that's fun.
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2019-12-201h 08
Shutdown Fullcast40 for 40, 2019 Edition: Alternative National Championship GamesIt's time to review the Cotton, Gator, Holiday, Quick Lane, Pinstripe, Red Box, and Rose Bowls based on the following very silly premise - if you had to go back in time and convince 2009 you that this was the 2019 national championship game, what tale would you spin to make that sound convincing?
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2019-12-181h 07
Shutdown Fullcast40 for 40, 2019 Edition: A Pre-Christmas Crime SpreeThis episode starts with a discussion of a long-time Tampa adult entertainment store and mostly ends with unsolved axe murders. Somewhere in between those, there is discussion of the pre-Christmas bowl games, but only as they are theoretically useful for doing crimes. This is the 40 for 40 and shame on you if you expected something different.
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2019-12-131h 13
Shutdown FullcastBOWL SEASON PREDICTIONS: Harbaugh vs. Saban at EpcotDabo Swinney gets into some light idolatry, Nick Saban and Jim Harbaugh will get into a fight on Spaceship Earth, every bowl game is just a 1950s vacation to somewhere with cigarettes, and the Sun Bowl is the only bowl game anyone should really play
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2019-12-0957 min
Shutdown FullcastThe 2019 BVP Award (f.k.a. the People's Heisman)Spencer, Jason, and Ryan meet to review the nominees for the 2019 BVP Award, the award we bestow upon the most college football player of the season. Many deserving candidates were discussed, from Hawaii QB Cole McDonald to LSU QB Joe Burrow's Butt. But only one could win, and we congratulate that winner, who we will not name in this description because that defeats the purpose. We also talked about Coach of the Year and Game of the Year nominees and winners. Are these awards real, you ask? Is anything, on a long enough geologic time span, we counter?
Learn more...
2019-12-0657 min
Shutdown FullcastNick Saban & Ole Miss are pissed - Week 14, ReviewedThis episode contains discussion of many important games and coaching changes around the sport of college football, but let us be perfectly clear: the only actually important part of this show is our demand that Mizzou hire Coach Brick. Coach Brick is the way of the future for Mizzou football. Any option that is not Coach Brick is a terrible plan.
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2019-12-021h 16
Shutdown FullcastBLOOD WEEK HISTORY: Thanksgiving Blood SoupWe continue our review of historical blood weeks with a trip to Thanksgiving Week, 2010. Ralph Friedgen was still at Maryland. Mike Stoops was still at Arizona. Dabo and Clemson went 6-7! These were different times, but that does not mean there was an absence of ranking upheaval, even if it cost us one of our best shots at a non-power making the BCS Championship.
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2019-11-2752 min
Shutdown FullcastArizona State Has Been Considered - Week 13, ReviewedSo many things happened on this week's episode. Some of them were planned, like talking about the FCS bracket, reviewing how great it is that FIU's kicker throat-slashed Miami, praising Herm Edwards Brain for being trapped in the NFL, or feeling afraid of Ohio State. Some of them were not planned, like Jason's weird eating habits revealed or Billy Dee William's Grizzly Bear Movie. Again - only college football podcast, thank you for listening, etc.
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2019-11-251h 13
Shutdown FullcastThanksgiving DisastersPerhaps more than any other holiday, Thanksgiving mixes volatile family dynamics, recipes that amateur cooks can easily bungle, travel stress, and the potential for major property damage. That's a mixture primed for disaster and, good LORD, did y'all have some disasters to share with us.
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2019-11-221h 29
Shutdown FullcastReverse Fixer Upper - Week 12, ReviewedWeek 12 left Spencer, Holly, and Ryan with many important questions, like:
Have Chip and Joanna ever found a corpse in a property?
Why do people agree to go to Iowa?
What do you with Utah at this point?
What's the meanest thing you can say about the Georgia offense?
How many people got convicted for that big biker shootout in Waco a while back?
What do Texas and Iowa State have in common?
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2019-11-1850 min
Shutdown FullcastScandal Appreciation with Bomani JonesBomani Jones joins Spencer, Holly, and Jason for a discussion of
Banner Society and The Right Time’s series on how money and college football players meet
Bobby Petrino wearing Sugar Bowl gear to his motorcycle crash presser
Texas A&M and how you can avoid wearing a uniform by just getting a dog
Which schools have never tried cheating
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2019-11-151h 07
Shutdown FullcastWeek 11, Revie-SHOUTING ABOUT BUCKEYES- Spencer has a new song for you! Won't that be a treat!
- You can guess Georgia coach P.J. Fleck's catch phrase if you think about it
- Baylor's anti-science crusade is breaking CFB analytics
- Adjectives that must be used when referencing 2019 Illinois
- Jason concludes 2019 Arkansas is the 1,014th best SEC team ever
- Transitive losses to App State: everyone has one
- Holly WANTS to talk about Tennessee?
- Discussions of teams like Rutgers and Alabama
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2019-11-111h 06
Shutdown FullcastThe Rutgers EpisodeBecause it is Rutgers Week, we have given you an entire episode that is about Rutgers - its history, its highest moments, its future, its weird sandwiches, and so forth. This is probably what you wanted, right? Right???
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2019-11-0849 min
Shutdown FullcastTalkin Bout The Noles! Week 10, ReviewedAn actual discussion about Willie Taggart’s firing at Florida State after just 21 games at the job, everyone wondering what a grown man has to say to get kicked out of the Liberty Bowl, clowning on Nebraska because we can, a brief mention of that whole Georgia-beating-Florida thing in Jacksonville, extended wowing at how bad Arkansas and Chad Morris has gone, and an appreciation of the only college football stadium that could be a level in Tony Hawk Pro Skater
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2019-11-041h 09
Shutdown FullcastCatching up on The 2019 Bold Predictions GameAs we stumble into November, some of the possibilities contained within our Bold Predictions Game have proven true or false. Kentucky didn't beat Florida. An FCS team beat a Power 5 team. Auburn didn't lose to its first four Power 5 opponents (not even close, actually). Hawaii beat a Pac-12 team. Twice!
But many predictions are still up for grabs. Which power conference won't make the playoff? Will every Big 12 coach stay in their current job? Is another school going to leave the American, inspired by UConn's bravery? Can UMass beat Northwestern? Can South Carolina beat Clemson? Will we get a Pac-12...
2019-11-0145 min
Shutdown FullcastLudicrous Playoff Scenarios and Week 9, ReviewedWARNING: This episode contains praise for the Ohio State Buckeyes, substantive discussion of Michigan-Notre Dame, a fair amount of Rose Bowl talk, and multiple examinations of how the Big Ten could get two teams into the Playoff. While there are other topics discussed, we must warn anyone who is not prepared to get this Midwestern about the journey ahead of them, which features a guest appearance from Ludicrous Playoff Scenario Seer Alex Kirshner.
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2019-10-281h 30
Shutdown FullcastThe Unnecessary NFL Relocation DraftThese days NFL teams only move two places: to Los Angeles or away from Los Angeles (Las Vegas counts as both, just trust us). This sucks and is boring, so we are taking matters into our own hands and moving teams wherever we want using a confusing draft process with unclear rules. It's fine, it works out for everyone involved.
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2019-10-251h 12
Shutdown FullcastIntroducing the BVP Award - Week 8, ReviewedHolly, Jason, and Spencer come to you bearing the following tidings (I'm not totally sure what tidings are but I am also too lazy to look):
- Behold our SOONER SCHOONER CHAOS POWERS
- Some early nominees for the 2019 BVP, given to college football's most college football player
- ILLINOIS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- Butts
- Now you know a single thing about Ball State!
- Tell a friend to attend our live show in Jacksonville
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2019-10-211h 01
Shutdown FullcastBLOOD WEEK HISTORY: Mid-October vs. the moonIn this episode, we celebrate the eternal cyclical beauty of the Pac-12 devouring its own, Georgia functioning as a perennial drunken bridesmaid, and renew our blood oaths against Earth’s boldest enemy, The Moon.
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2019-10-1850 min
Shutdown FullcastCome Fantifa With Us - Week 7, RecappedGeorgia lost a Muschampin' Contest, but that does not make this week a Blood Week. (Patience, you who thirst for chaos and woe!) We will give you a dollar in Fullcast Download Store Credit if you can tell us what the Pac-12 South standings are, we determine how many games Iowa can win the rest of the year if they score twelve points and only twelve points in all of those games, we talk a lot about the extended Fansville universe, and the Sandman stops by for a minute.
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2019-10-141h 16
Shutdown FullcastThe Edges of FandomBecause we work with and around Braves fans, we decided to spend this episode contemplating the losses that have pushed various fanbases to consider just walking away and being done with the whole thing. Warning: if you are a fan of the Pirates, Bengals, and Arkansas, this will be a super unpleasant episode for you. But your life is probably kinda weird to start with, no?
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2019-10-111h 03
Shutdown FullcastSACK TIME! - Week 6, RecappedSpencer, Holly, and Jason enjoyed Iowa-Michigan the way they didn't know it was intended to be consumed: entirely via Michigan radio broadcast. (Ryan just watched it on TV, like an idiot.) That's why most of this episode is Midwestern chortling and shouting, even when we talk about:
- The ACC embracing nonsense as a conference identity
- The Tennessee squirrel
- Whether or not Pitt can fire the superweapon again, or even fired it at all
- Auburn-Florida
- Whatever the hell the Pac-12 is doing
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2019-10-071h 11
Shutdown FullcastLive! In CharlotteA hearty thank you to all the wonderful people who came out to our live show in Charlotte, where we did what any good guest would do and mostly just trashed the ACC. But, you know, in fun Fullcast ways. Did this tick off one person in attendance to the point where he almost kind of sort of tried to take over the show? Yes, but he's right that the ACC has won two of the last three national titles, a thing we definitely did not know and nobody talks about.
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2019-10-051h 12
Shutdown FullcastA Trust Exercise - Week 5, RecappedHi, it's Ryan. I'm not on this episode because my internet was being a real shit, and I haven't listened to it yet, so I have no idea what it contains! I predict there's probably some talk about Rutgers and UNC, and Spencer probably freaks out about the Auburn-Florida game. Maybe something about Virginia Tech getting flattened by Duke? Shrug. Let's find out together. Surely I won't be mocked and slandered on this episode!
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2019-09-3059 min
Shutdown FullcastSeptember Awards SeasonIt's time to stop and reflect on the season that's been. (Yes, we know there's still a lot of season still to come. Hush.) We're talking September Heisman, figuring out what happened in the early part of the season that will stick in our memories, handing out some Assies, recognizing statistical leaders like Evan Weaver, Tackle Bear, and arguing about cake.
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2019-09-2753 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Pac-12 Owns Entertainment - Week 4, RecappedTwo things you will learn on this episode:
1. Never watch Georgia!
2. Always watch the Pac-12!
Other things you will heard discussed on this episode!
- The delightful weirdness of UCLA-Washington State
- Pitt saved its only good idea for an opponent who might not even be accredited
- The worst Arkansas team to ever be televised
- Finally, communism accomplishes something
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2019-09-2359 min
Shutdown FullcastBLOOD WEEK HISTORY: Sanguine SeptembersBlood Week (which Jason and Ryan laid out a helpful guide to here) usually happens later in the calendar, but there's nothing stopping it from popping up earlier. We looked at three Septembers where the rankings became a real revolving door.
- 2008, when Blood Week went to both coasts
- 1974, when Blood Week become Blood Fortnight
- And 1984, when we had a whole dang BLOOD MONTH
BONUS FEEDBACK TIME! We are conducting an audience survey to better serve you (don't laugh). It takes no more than five minutes, and it really helps out the show. Please take our survey here...
2019-09-201h 12
Shutdown FullcastBIG NUDE SATURDAY - Week 3, RecappedWe didn't necessarily learn a lot in Week 3, but what we did was important: just because Iowa-Iowa State is El Assico doesn't mean several other games aren't also El Assico. Looking at you, Florida-Kentucky. And Pitt-Penn State. And Michigan State-Arizona State. BONUS: stay to the end and learn about the dumbest midgame crowd entertainment plan ever, courtesy of Indiana!
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2019-09-1652 min
Shutdown FullcastLive In Houston!We went back to Texas, and this time we talked about something wholly irrelevant to the audience: dead or mostly dead rivalries. Does that mean we spent a lot of time on Mizzou and Nebraska? Yes, yes it does. We're very good at reading the room, and for the right amount of money, we will perform at your wedding.
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2019-09-141h 05
Shutdown FullcastMichigan Must Defend Our Borders NowLike Hugh Freeze, Spencer's "out sick" for this episode, so Holly, Jason, and Ryan get to dissect Week 2, from LSU's fireworks stand offense to Hawaii controlling the Pac-12 to which OTHER old Tennessee coaches should take over for Jeremy Pruitt to P.J. Fleck getting enough video game cash to buy something other than the default outfit.
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2019-09-0956 min
Shutdown FullcastMake Your Own RivalryLong ago, Colorado decided it was going to turn Nebraska into a rival. It took a while to work, but the Buffs pulled it off, so we're following their example and creating new potential rivalries of our own with your help. (Oh, we also wrote some of them down.) This episode is also about Spencer being a coastal elite with a sincere love for Italian sparkling wine, if any of that appeals to you.
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2019-09-0759 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Hugh Freeze Hospital Bed EpisodeLook, there's a significant amount of football discussion on this episode, seeing how Tennessee lost at home to Georgia State and (other football games that are not nearly as funny as that). I'm sure we said funny or insightful or stupid things about those games, but let's be honest about why we're all here: to talk about Hugh Freeze coaching a football game from a hospital bed they put in the press box.
Because Hugh Freeze coached a football game from a hospital bed they put in the press box.
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2019-09-031h 02
Shutdown FullcastA History of the People's HeismanATTENTION LAWYERS: THIS IS NOT THE HEISMAN TROPHY WE"RE TALKING ABOUT. PLEASE DO NOT SUE US, AS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH MONEY ANYWAYS. This episode is about the People's Heisman, an entirely different award in that it doesn't currently exist in trophy form and has never formally been awarded to anyone, and a very similar award in that we only sort of kind of decided who qualifies for it. Simply put, the People's Heisman is for the players we remember fondly not necessarily because they were the best or most accomplished but because they were just so very memorable...
2019-08-301h 09
Shutdown FullcastWhy don't they make the whole season out of Week 0?Between Florida and Miami trying to melt down in any possible direction and Hawaii-Arizona doing the same but with way more scoring and quarterbacks who look like they wanna fight Johnny Utah, Week 0 was...a colossal success! We talk about that and a few storylines we'll be throwing our stupid little hearts into this year.
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2019-08-261h 02
Shutdown FullcastWelcome! To Your First Shutdown FullcastCongratulations! You have decided to start listening to the Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast. This episode is designed to help you understand the accumulated lore, riffs, and nonsense that make up the fabric of this show, but because it was designed by the hosts, it may not prove to be very helpful. If you are here because of a friend who recommended the show, please tell them thanks from us. If you are here because of a friend who has pranked you, please tell them thanks from us anyways.
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2019-08-231h 00
Shutdown FullcastThe World's First "Mailbag" ShowNobody had ever thought to have people send in questions that podcast hosts could answer on a recorded episode. But then we went and did it, because we're podcast innovators. Please send us thousands of dollars so we can consult for your business or whatever.
The questions on this episode include, but are not limited to:
- Who takes over at Bama after Nick Saban?
- What team is most ready to explode into a dumpster fire?
- What would you choose as the mascot if you were the AD of a new program?
- How are our skin care ro...
2019-08-201h 05
Shutdown FullcastThe Vacation Disasters EpisodeVacations are like any other carefully planned human endeavor: they are subject to complete and total collapse, from predictable factors and from shit you never saw coming. You, the listeners, have pooped yourselves, seriously injured yourselves, left each other in jail on false charges, been conquered by Disney, and caused permanent damage to your relationships. Fortunately, we have done these things, too. The Shutdown Fullcast: We All Sink Down Here!
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2019-08-161h 02
Shutdown FullcastPrep School, or How to Improve Your 2019 College Football ExperienceOur listeners share their tips and tricks for a more pleasant Saturday viewing experience, we discuss the college football destinations we have yet to enjoy but want to visit, and somehow we talk about clothes Ryan bought in middle school.
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2019-08-1341 min
Shutdown FullcastThe 2019 Bold Predictions GameAs we approach a new season of college football, we, as esteemed members of the national media, have an important job before us: to embrace bold, possibly stupid, predictions about what is yet to come and spread them into the world. But we want to break down the distinction between "host" and "listener," which is why we have turned this honored task into a game that you can play as well! Go to https://forms.gle/gJH1TH9HhkkyUyQY6 to enter, and throughout the season we'll tell you exactly how much better you are than Ryan at this.
Learn more...
2019-08-0750 min
Shutdown FullcastOur Favorite (Non-Football) Offseason ThingsThis is the episode where we try to convince you we are reasonably well-rounded people who travel and read for pleasure and watch television that isn't just whatever weird Minnesota replay the Big Ten Network has picked out for a summer Tuesday afternoon. Maybe you'll get some ideas for new things you can enjoy in the remaining days before football season starts. Maybe you'll think our taste sucks and tweet us better things we should have consumed. Either one is fine, just remember: send those tweets to @38Godfrey.
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2019-08-021h 04
Shutdown Fullcast2019 Preview, Part 5: The Purple and also Not Purple TeamsRichard Johnson joins Holly, Spencer, and Jason to preview the Purple Division and the Assorted Division, because no, we weren't organized enough to avoid having a grab bag division where the teams don't wear the same colors. That one has BYU, Hawaii, Miami, Michigan State, Ohio State, and Oregon, while the Purple Division has Clemson, Kansas State, LSU, Northwestern, TCU, and Washington. If our arbitrary conference setup did not include your school, it means they're either:
a) terrible and going to be trash this year or
b) secretly amazing but we're betting lots of money on them and don't want...
2019-07-301h 21
Shutdown Fullcast2019 Preview, Part 4: Teams a L'OrangePodcast newbie Steven Godfrey joins Holly, Spencer, and Ryan to preview the Orange Division and the Fake Orange Division. The former includes Auburn, Florida, Oklahoma State, Syracuse, Tennessee, and Texas; the latter brings you Arizona State (sort of), Boston College, Iowa State, USC, Virginia, and Virginia Tech. Maybe you're thinking some of those schools aren't orange at all, to which we will remind you that red and yellow mixed together MAKE orange. That's Colors 101, sucker.
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2019-07-2454 min
Shutdown Fullcast2019 Preview, Part 3: The Yellowest TeamsAfter this episode, we're now 60% of the way through previewing ever-well, ok SOME of this year's college football teams. This is the Conference Yellow, aka the Piss 12, and it includes Appalachian State, Army, Cal, Florida State, Georgia Tech, Iowa, Michigan, Mizzou, Purdue, Toledo, UCF, and West Virginia. This is also the episode where Spencer does one of the worst things he's ever done on this show, and we're sorry but we cannot control him.
Is this a bad time to mention that Shutdown Fullcast has been nominated for best Sports +Recreation podcast in this year’s People’s Choice Podcast Awar...
2019-07-161h 16
Shutdown Fullcast2019 Preview, Part 2: The Bluest TeamsOur super dumb season preview continues with THE BLUE CONFERENCE, home to Boise State, Buffalo, Georgia Southern, Kentucky, Memphis, and Penn State in one division and Arizona, Navy, North Carolina, Notre Dame, Pitt, and UCLA in the other. Holly and Spencer were out for this one, so we brought on special guest Alex Kirshner and person who is on the show all the time Brian Floyd. Does that mean we talked about football and not nonsense? Friend, no. No, it does not.
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2019-07-091h 14
Shutdown Fullcast2019 Preview, Part 1: The Reddest TeamsIt's season preview time, and this year we're realigning all* of college football by the only system that matters to us: uniform color! We begin with THE RED CONFERENCE, a twelve team league consisting of Alabama, Minnesota, Mississippi State, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, and Washington Statein one division and Georgia, Nebraska, NC State, Stanford, Utah, and Wisconsin in the other. Who will reign supreme? How will we even decide that? What Bill C. secrets will we reveal, changing your whole understanding of this show? Listen to find out!
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2019-07-021h 21
Shutdown FullcastLive at the Ann Arbor Downtown LibraryAs the capper to our 2019 Charity Bowl, we headed up to Ann Arbor for a live show on the most sensible day to stay inside possible: the summer solstice, with amazing weather. And because this was a Michigan show, we had to do Michigan things, like:
- War trivia
- Auditing the business departments of the Big Ten
- War fan fiction
- Explaining how all of football owes its existence to Michigan
- Generally feeling superior to Michigan State in all things
Special thanks to the Ann Arbor District Library and the squad at MGoBlog helping make this show...
2019-06-251h 28
Shutdown FullcastBeatdowns: A RetrospectiveNo team wants to catch a beatdown, but wanting can only get you so far in life, as it turns out. Usually, that beatdown comes at the hands of a powerhouse, like the USWNT, or Oklahoma, or UConn Football. In every case, a beatdown is something to be beheld and regarded, like a freak accident or a zoo animal that gets stuck on the roof of a skyscraper. We will not shame those who deliver beatdowns in this home. We will seek them out and remind you that they are real, and that they can happen at any level, at...
2019-06-1851 min
Shutdown FullcastScary Stories to Tell in #Pac12AfterDarkThe world's only college football podcast always makes the most logical choice, and that is why this episode is about SPOOKY STORIES TO TELL AROUND THE CAMPFIRE. Topics include:
- Which coach’s head is secretly held on to his body by a velvet ribbon?
- Ryan is not in this show because every terrible story you ever heard about New York came true at once, in his bloodstream
- A great deal of time is spent in Indiana without properly taunting Indiana, and for that we apologize in advance
- Also a lot of freshwater ecology talk, for some re...
2019-06-1154 min
Shutdown FullcastBLOOD WEEK HISTORY: The SEC's BowlpocalypseThe Blood Week History Series turns its gory eye to Bowl Season, (No, bowl season is not a week, but all measures of time are human constructs anyways.) Though many candidates were worthy of consideration for the bloodiest bowl season, only one included:
- A beloved postseason donnybrook
- Former SWC powerhouses squaring off
- Persistent Boise State doubt, somehow
- Well-regarded Mississippi teams (plural!)
- Disrespected Ohio State
BLOOD WEEK HISTORY! THE ONLY COURSE CREDIT IS DOOM!
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2019-06-041h 07
Shutdown FullcastActual Football News, Offseason Halftime Hangover EditionLook, it's the incredibly rare bird known as An Offseason Fullcast Episode About Football! As we start counting down to the start of the 2019 season, we want you to feel fully informed about the news in our fair sport, including:
- Rule changes!
- Video game changes!
- Coaching changes! In the XFL!
- Beer changes!
- Hockey! For real, hockey!
On a more serious note, we want to send our condolences to the friends and family of Auburn radio announcer Rod Bramblett and Paula Bramblett, who died in a car accident over Memorial Day weekend. If you're interested in...
2019-05-2851 min
Shutdown FullcastAnimal Disasters, Part 2: Too Dark for TexasYou know how we did a live show in Austin centered around animal mishaps? Well, there were several stories you submitted that we did not feel comfortable reading into a microphone in front of actual people. So we saved them for this episode, where we could read them into a microphone to digital people, who are not real. Topics include:
- Ocean's 11 But Dogs
- Prissy, the Radical Feminist Cow
- Woodchucks + Fireworks = John Wuck
- Tom Hanks as a unit of measurement
- Unregistered Iowa Petting Zoo(s)
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2019-05-2153 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Greatest Blood Week in the History of Week 1Blood Week: the week (or weeks) in a college football season where maximum chaos is realized, and the status quo is upturned by as many upsets as the sport can stuff into its craw in one stretch. That usually happens in the middle of the schedule, but there's no rule saying Blood Week has to be then. So we decided to hunt for the bloodiest Week 1 in the sport's history. Without totally spoiling it, our choice includes:
- A wasted trip to Anaheim, California
- Golf clubs used as rescue devices
- A mountain hero named Earl
Remember - if...
2019-05-1450 min
Shutdown FullcastYour College Team as Biblical Character or StoryIt's time for you to get some religion, and by religion I mean finding the story, character, or book of the Bible that best fits different college teams and entities. We split the good book into different assignments: Ryan leads off with the New Testament, Holly gives us a very personal digression into the Book of Revelation, and Jason takes the Old Testament with a few bonus books. Spencer? Spencer didn't do his homework, and is condemned to Hell. Or possibly saved from Hell because this podcast concept is inherently blasphemous? Unclear.
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2019-05-0748 min
Shutdown FullcastCollege football's most rewatchable gamesDid you know: there are no college football games scheduled to be played in May, or June, or July of this year. So we might as well talk about old games we enjoy rewatching. (We does not mean Ryan, who lives in a remote hamlet without access to electricity. Stupid, stupid Ryan.)
Topics include:
Welcome to the EDSBS Book Club, may god have mercy on your soul / College football games we all would watch right now / The time Oregon blew a 31-0 lead to a TCU team with a backup QB named "Bram Kohlhausen" / A review of infamous and inhumane...
2019-04-301h 12
Shutdown FullcastBOLD MARVEL TAKES, with Steven "Batman" GodfreyThis is what happens when you get five people who have spent way too much time watching or rewatching comic book movies and then let them indulge their most polarizing selves. Captain Marvel is a NASCAR movie. Terrence Howard should have stayed as Rhodey! The MCU did Brexit!
Thank you for listening to our college football podcast.
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2019-04-231h 12
Shutdown FullcastOur 2019 Mock Draft, with Lessons for KyleHarry Lyles Jr. joins us for a very serious and analytical 2019 NFL Mock Draft, because we definitely know all of the team needs in this Draft and have ground as much tape as humanly possible to identify breakout stars and busts. We would never make a bunch of dumb joke picks that left one of the best players completely skipped over in the first round while a kicker got taken in the top 15. And we definitely would not forget who plays for the Miami Dolphins! That's not this show, because this show is about SERIOUS FOOTBALL SERIOUSNESS.
Learn more about y...
2019-04-161h 18
Shutdown FullcastFootball needs these first-time champsWe're here to ponder which schools would be the funniest first-time national champs in college football (oh right, we cover college football). Oregon is not discussed in this context, because Michael Dyer was down.
And first, let's discuss the funnest parts of the 2019 Charity Bowl, which allows you to:
- help people in need
- shame your rivals
- force Spencer to get a 1990 Citrus Bowl Champs tattoo
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2019-04-091h 00
Shutdown FullcastEverything is Rasslin'- But first, Holly has some enriching homework for you
- How pro wrestling explains college football and everything else
- Kofi Kingston vs. Vince McMahon, the most uncomfortably on-the-nose wrestling feud
- A lot about LeBron, for some reason
- That's a lie
- There's never a reason
- Some more wrestling stuff happens?
- The offseason will continue and some day the universe will end, thanks for listening
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2019-04-021h 04
Shutdown FullcastPants ConfessionsLos Homely Boys got together in person to talk about the important social issue of the day: Dan Mullen's billowy pants. Per Fullcast statute, there is also some discussion of the Bible and Star Wars, both of which, again, are related to pants. Don't worry, though - we've made our own individual fashion choices that didn't pan out, and so did a couple SPECIAL TEMPORARY GUESTS!
Also! If you haven't yet, please take the Vox Media Podcast Newtork audience survey! It takes no more than five minutes, and it really helps out the show. You can find that survey here: h...
2019-03-2650 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Least Safe For Work Fullcast EverWhat podcast can take a screenshot of a simple chyron error from a local news station in Alabama and turn it into a hastily planned, poorly recorded episode about the SEC Sex Tournament as if that's a real thing or a worthwhile topic? You know who, buddy. You know damn well who.
Please note: no episode of the Shutdown Fullcast feels safe for children but this one probably shouldn't even be played on a device that children might later use. Just throw your phone into one of those biohazard bins at the doctor's office after you finish listening.
Learn more...
2019-03-1928 min
Shutdown FullcastAnimal Disasters, Part 1 (Live at SXSW!)The Shutdown Fullcast heads to the home of Big Cow himself for our first ever ANIMAL DISASTERS episode. What kind of disasters?
- The kind where someone decides "a gun in a Publix" is a solution
- The kind that involve early 20th century Atlantic City
- The kind where your Dad ends up putting multiple holes in the wall
- The kind where a mascot becomes a serial killer
- Tennessee Volunteers football
And so forth. Somehow, Ryan forgot to bring up Noah at all on this episode! What an idiot. (Please note: this is a slightly shorter episode...
2019-03-1344 min
Shutdown FullcastEMERGENCY CONFERENCE CALL: Operation Varsity Blues- Yes, the dings stop eventually
- IT'S WATER POLO CRIMES DAY!
- Psychological profile of hero fugitive Aunt Becky
- Consider Arizona State and stay out of jail, you rich nerds
- Which SEC team best combines Lord of the Rings and paintball?
- Live Brexit updates and analysis
- Our new and forever enemy, the worst brand on earth: Mossimo
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2019-03-1237 min
Shutdown FullcastFANTASY DRAFT: American StatesWe, the 2019 State Draft GMs, are splitting the country into five teams for very weird reasons. Why are we doing this at all? You ask too many questions! Just like a cop! WE GOT A COP HERE!
- Four teams are good. One is bad. I think you know where Florida ends up
- What's the point of this? How do you win? I'm surprised you think there's an answer, but thank you for trying
- Who'll be the first to pick a state that was already picked?
- What is the state dessert of Missouri?
- More explosive: DK...
2019-03-0551 min
Shutdown FullcastSuperheroes vs. the NFL CombineYup, it's Combine time, but we're gonna talk about comic books so deal with it. TOPICS INCLUDE:
- Jared Lorenzen would dust you
- Vernon Davis vs. The Hulk, who ya got
- To this day, all DC characters are written by 8-year-old boys
- Character risk? Captain America’s old tweets are a red flag
- Which Big 12 team is Galactus?
- Advanced analytics: We already know which X-Man would win the 3-cone drill
- We love our big stupid Thor
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2019-02-271h 10
Shutdown FullcastThe World's Only AAF PodcastWith the signature timeliness only the Shutdown Fullcast can bring, we're here to discuss football's hot new league, the AAF. It's definitely financially stable and you know that because Rick Neuheisel came here from the Pac-12 Network. Everything he touches turns to gold! I'm pretty sure there's some weird Papa John talk on here as well, though that could be true of any Fullcast episode. Ok, have a great day!
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2019-02-1952 min
Shutdown FullcastCrootin' and Cuttin': Signing Day Lawncare TipsHolly, Spencer, and Jason are joined by Bud Elliott, SB Nation's foremost recruiting expert/lawncare superexpert/State of Florida hypersuper expert. They answer your questions about all of those topics and also get easily distracted, because that's how this show works.
Topics include:
The hardest positions to evaluate from high school to college
Bud goes in on FSU again
Lawns are just places to store unwanted dads
Chip Kelly wants you to pick a lunch place
Why you should text recruits because the phone is now evil
Scouting Bad Boy Mowers' catalog for five-star recruits
Very hesitant and skeptical Tennessee p...
2019-02-121h 00
Shutdown FullcastThe Coaching Carousel QuizYou might not have been paying close attention to all the coaching changes in college football over the last couple months, what with bowl games and the playoff and early signing day and the New Year's party you planned that went off the rails because Todd brought Bacardi 151 even though you only asked him to get a couple bottles of wine. Most of us weren't paying attention either, so Jason decided to quiz us as a team to see how many coaching hires we could name.
But first Ryan made everyone talk about Noah, and then Spencer and Holly wanted t...
2019-02-0556 min
Shutdown FullcastA Super Bowl Preview! (if by the Super Bowl you mean Ohio State football and Ohio as a place)Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) is an accomplished poet, essayist, and cultural critic who has a new book coming out, Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to A Tribe Called Quest. He's also from Columbus and an Ohio State fan, so yeah, we made him talk about Craig Krenzel, the Ohio-Florida mirror relationship, and where he was when the Buckeyes lost to Purdue this year. We also talked about children being mean to Tom Brady because it's good when children are mean to Tom Brady. Tell your children to be mean to Tom Brady, please!
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2019-01-2954 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Kitchen Disasters Episode
From frozen pizzas to self-inflicted food poisoning to the saddest French onion soup in the world, you, our listeners, have managed to truly create disasters that didn't even seem possible in your culinary endeavors. (Seriously, how has MORE THAN ONE OF YOU destroyed a microwave by using it as a timer?) We did not hang you out to dry, however, as we have our own failures to share - including Jason's wife burning down an apartment building before she was old enough to go to school.
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2019-01-231h 12
Shutdown FullcastYour (and our) Offseason GoalsThe offseason is upon us, which means it's time for all of us to set goals for ourselves and our teams. Will we achieve them? Probably not, but that will not stop us from doing this all again next year. Go Human Brains! Topics on this episode include:
3:21 - The Fullcast hosts as Pokemon types
4:29 - A tribute to a truly great college football hater
15:41 - Your/Our Offseason Goals!
26:57 - What if Dan Mullen poses nude with a shark?
35:12 - Let’s talk about the White House Burger Spread
48:12 - Ok more of Your Offseason Goals
Learn more about yo...
2019-01-151h 07
Shutdown FullcastOur favorite moments of 2018, now that BAMA LOST LOLThe 2018 college football season ended with a shocking humiliation of Alabama, so let's review the title game and the best oddball things that happened along the way.
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2019-01-0950 min
Shutdown FullcastThe 2018-19 Championship Conference CallThat's right, it's the MIDGAME SHUTDOWN CONFERENCE FULLCALL! Featuring:
- Special guests Pablo Torre and Bomani Jones
- The audio just totally fucking dying pretty early on and poor Pablo wondering what he's been duped into
- Delayed reactions to some of the football action because streaming
- Snake governments and strip club franchising and casting the movie of this game
- About as much football talk as you'd expect
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2019-01-081h 05
Shutdown FullcastAmerica's Huge Jeans - The 2018 National Championship PreviewThat's right, it's time to talk about the last game of the college football season...a third of the way into this college football podcast. GO FULLCAST GO! Your itinerary follows:
3:22 - Does the Bay Area know they’re hosting the National Championship?
8:38 - A brief, NSFW John Mellencamp digression
9:51 - PODCAST BUSINESS
16:22 - The Coaches Room Broadcast, except we get Mark Richt a little baked
17:47 - He’s Big Cow, etc.
20:08 - The point at which we actually start talking about Clemson-Bama
42:26 - Listeners propose alternate title game locations
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Lear...
2019-01-0455 min
Shutdown FullcastThe Mount Rushmore of Notre Dame lossesYup, the Fighting Irish made it to a big game and got killed, a thing that has happened so many times before that we got to revisit several regular season and bowl game failings by Notre Dame before we even started to talk about the most recent one. Playoff Like A Champion Today! Other topics include:
13:27 - Die Hard explains the Playoffs, kind of, not really
17:03 - If you’re a Gamecock fan just skip like three minutes ahead at this point
19:33 - Nope, not here for your playoff complaints
24:42 - Hey, why did Georgia miss the playoff again?
27:29 - Sp...
2018-12-3151 min