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2 Gleeps2 GleepsCinnaminute HourVacation mode activated. The Gleeps are in the Baja. We don't know where that is, but it isn't important. Colton plans to run for office and he explains how he plans to win. A brief discussion occurs about how strokes actually work, which leads into a less brief discussion on whether or not babies like cinnamon. It sort of seems like it's just an acquired taste.   Would you let Colton feed your baby cinnamon? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Are you voting for Pel E. in the upcoming election? tg...2024-07-121h 462 Gleeps2 GleepsTime Is A Gift2 Gleeps is back, baby! And it's Maypril fools. The Gleeps explain the tribulations that they went through to mourn the passing of the inhabitants of the Titan submersible, and how, after all this time, they were finally able to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing to even mourn about. Ken Jennings has his super hero alter ego exposed in this episode. Also, Colton talks about his go to gift to give to his family at Christmas, and the lengths that he goes to in order to make sure it's memorable. Welcome to season 3 Gleeps. 2024-07-051h 412 Gleeps2 GleepsChanging The ChunnelThe Gleeps are officially back with this new batch of episodes. I guess you could even consider this "season 2"...only if you want to though. You don't have to.   Colton is having auto problems. Noah is having autoimmune problems. Colton is a terrorist. Noah is inventing Spanish. Colton is an English pacifist Hitler. Noah is solving the "Chunnel Problem".   Does Benghazi mean anything to you? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   What is your final solution? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2023-11-251h 292 Gleeps2 GleepsGet Reamed!Welcome back to The Jakobson Files, I hope you are ready to get reamed! In this rendition, we spend some time answering the question that is as old as time, can you scramble an egg in its shell? We also talk a little bit about our new podcast, and try not to anger the serial killer that lives next door. Don't forget to leave a 5 star review for us on Yelp, even if you don't know what your name means.   Do you think you can spell "Gleep" backwards? Give it a shot by sending your a...2023-04-291h 282 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Only GleepThis is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. We are back at it with more questions from our ultimate list of really good and never bad questions that we made up. We did not find this list anywhere, we made it up, and it's always really good and never bad. WARNING: DURING THIS EPISODE ONE OF THE GLEEPS DECIDES NOT TO PARTICIPATE. HE IS STILL THERE THOUGH.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-12-2112 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsWhere’s The Pilot? Side BHello passengers! This is your mailbox speaking. We have a quick safety video for you to watch before we take flight. It is essential to prepare for this to be the craziest flight in United States Punited States history. Listen to every word that all of the U.S. Marshalls say, and they might be able to help you find me...the pilot...I'm missing and you don't know if maybe I'm one of the passengers or not. Good luck, passengers.   Are you a foot pee-er or a house pee-er? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com2022-11-051h 13My Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareGasim’s Auda TimeThis episode is the remainder of the Gasim Sandwich arc, and also gives us the introduction of Auda. It is chalk full of audio from the movie itself, because conversations are difficult to convey with a single person. All of us will continue to move forward into the next episode...except for Gasim. His time is come Aurens.   idreamoflawrence@gmail.com2022-11-0326 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Answer is...This is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. Trying to change up the formula, we get the answer before we get the question in this one. That's all there is to it. Simple concept...amazing execution.   Do you also miss Rhodesia? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-11-0111 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsGet Gout: A Michael Jordan Story Side ANo one knows the true origins of Michael Jordan...except for us. We will walk you through the formative years of his life in our brand new screen play. You will learn how, against all odds, he fought through thick and thin and his thickened skin to make his dreams a reality. Michael turned his weaknesses into strengths, and grew into his life as a hero. Also, Alex Trebek died of pancreatic cancer...everyone knows that.   What is your favorite type of cancer? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Would you like to...2022-10-2951 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Musical QueryThis is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. We talk about life, death, dumb questions, and what song we would want to torture ourselves with for the rest of our lives. Short, sweet, and there's no point.   What song would you pick? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Would you like to be Alive and blind or dead if you could still see? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-10-2609 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsA Little Dab’ll Do YaThis episode is not sponsored by Brylcreem...if you get that joke, you are a freak.   We start off by serenading your senses with our blissful tunes, before immediately tackling the racism behind the board game "Clue" (also known as Cluedo) and explaining why Mario is a menace to The Mushroom Kingdom. Noah brings up his favorite topic of conversation, Colton's Grandma is dead now, and we read some pretty cool middle riddles toward the end. All three things listed in the last sentence are accurate. Also, Gum...Man or Mint?   Re...2022-10-221h 00My Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareThe Gasim SandwichNow that we are officially back to the basics, I figured there was no better way to come back then to finally release The Gasim Sandwich. Picking up where the 3rd episode of the podcast "Daud and Farraj" ended, Lawrence faces odds that are extremely stacked against him. Can he survive to continue the good fight? I mean...we already know that answer is yes. He probably wouldn't be a well known historical figure if he died here.   idreamoflawrence@gmail.com2022-10-2029 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Gamer ShirtThis is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. The questions in this one are...questionable...to say the least. Not nearly as good as the first one was, but we will endure nevertheless. In this episode we talk about all of the cool and wacky gamer shirts out there, and Noah gets a very important call.   What is your favorite gamer shirt? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Would you eat at a restaurant that is willing to employ bald people? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-10-1910 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareBack To BasicsIt's time we go back to the basics. Weekly uploads? Check. Forcing myself to do something I hate? Of course. Doing something that is actually really stupid? Well that's a no brainer.   If you want a chance to win some money, all you have to do is send an email to me. Just make sure the subject line is "#LawrencePay" and somewhere in the body of the email you tell me what your Youtube username is. This is just to ensure that when I reveal a winner, I can make sure the correct person contacts me about the prize without r...2022-10-1517 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsBatman’s Foreskin Side BThis episode is actually crazy. We talk about what Columbus was doing in Native America, and Amerigo did when he saw it. We go through every single element and decide whether or not it would work as a chemical in a pool. Also, we talk about the worst news source that we have no choice but to listen to as it slowly crushes what little spirit we have left. Those are the only things we talk about in this episode. Seriously, there isn't any other topic that comes up at any point in the episode.   D...2022-10-151h 102 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Fall GuyThis is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. What would you do if you came across a body in a hotel room? Would you ignore it? Maybe you would do you duty as a civilian and immediately alert all the other hotel guests.   What would you do if you came across an active murder? Would you offer to help? Maybe you would rub your hands all over the walls.   What would you do if you could email us? Would you rewrite "The Matter of Britain" in Shakespearean pr...2022-10-1111 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsKing’s Tut Tomb Side AWelcome to Gleep At Night! Luke Bryan is the only thing that has ever done anything in our little town, but we are ignoring him to do this instead. Get ready to join The Word Association, because we personally believe that slurs are words too. Colton gets paralyzed by sneeze, and Noah attempts to answer riddles to earn his way into King's Tut Tomb for his special reward. Most of this episode may be us taking a break from the episode, but that's why there is going to be a second part. Gather your pies and your Ewhores, because...2022-10-081h 142 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Taco Bell BreakfastThis is the first part of our epic 250 question saga. In this episode, we find a brand new list to read, that has way too many questions. This episode is an introduction to our crazy adventure. Will Colton get sick and throw up? Will we ever make it to the end of the list? The journey continues on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-10-0510 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsIt’s Cheese That Screams!We are changing up the formula in this one. First, we start the episode of with some good 'ol jokes. That's right, you heard me. There is more business ideas, more historical revelations, and way more wacky zany rigmaroles. This is seriously like the most "2 Gleeps" this podcast has ever been, and if you don't think you can make it to the end, you'd better just stop swimming now.   Have you ever seen "that thing" while dying of a fever? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you have any suggestions on ho...2022-10-011h 072 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Super Bowl CommercialWe are devising the perfect commercial in this one, and honestly -- I don't want to spoil it, but -- one of us actually breaks a world record live on the pod.   What commercial would you want to air during the Super Bowl? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you also really like Bud Knight? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Coca-Cola has us living in perfect harmony https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VM2eLhvsSM   2022-09-2709 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsAustralia’s Murder TrainThe queen is still dead, Ebu Gogo is wrecking havoc, and emus are being released. That's really all there is to say this time around, unless of course you wanted to hear about the best topic of them all...cheese rolling. That's right, epic sport has found its way to becoming a topic. Congratulations   Have you written a poem for the queen? Send it here 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you know where I can get a cryptozoology degree? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   I found thi...2022-09-241h 022 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Existential SonThis is a pretty short one. Unless you look at the average length of all the other bonus episodes. Then I guess it's kind of normal length. I just wanted you to believe in something embarrassing. Can you even blame me?   Yes you can blame me? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   No you cannot blame me? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-09-2110 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsBag Of DogsThis episode is actually the definition of crazy (mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way), partly because Colton is a sucker for a dog, and partly because nobody knows what happened to the Cheddar family. We will discuss what the world economy revolves around, luchador wrestling for elementary school kids, and Santa's younger brother. Also, Paul Bunyan and Ferdinand Magellan may have more in common than you thought.   Do you think America would be better if the Vespucci family was still in charge? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   ...2022-09-171h 002 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Final FrontiersDid you that sesame streams are a naturally occurring event in nature? Also, Cartoon Network is extremely racist. Did you know that Terry Crews used to be a Spice Girl? Also, the Japanese love our podcast.   Have you ever found yourself in any of the 3 final frontiers? Tell us about them. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you ever quoted the Bhagavad Gita to a nation of white people? If so, how did it go? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-09-1410 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsQueen’s Gone Rancid She HasThis episode was recorded on August 20, 2022. Does that mean we knew Queen Elizabeth II (Queen of England) was going to die? Yes. Yes we did. MI6 needs to shoulder some of the blame for this, and it sucks that she's dead, but really it's the queen's own fault for being such a fetid bitch. The world moves on in the wake of humanities greatest loss, but at least we can rest easy knowing the putrid old hag can no longer spread her pungent miasma. Also, we talk about Vsauce and marbles.   Do you want a t...2022-09-101h 262 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Unfettered ScamIf you listen to this episode, I'm so sorry, but you've been scammed. I own your wallet now. The only way to get it back is to go stand in an ancient microwave.   This email is a scam 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   This email is less of a scam tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-09-0714 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsKilling The HomelessDo you remember a world before stained glass window outlets? I don't even want to imagine what life used to be like. If you order one now, we will throw in a free bird shooting potato gun (this is not a gun that shoots potatoes at birds). If you order one five minutes ago, we will throw in a free waterproof toaster, and some menaloast (a Greek delicacy). If you don't order one, we will send it to Washington.   Please donate to our chairty/religion/reality TV show. It is the only way we can p...2022-09-031h 052 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Katsenberg FilmsThis is supposed to be a wholesome podcast. Please do not make fun of others for what they believe, and be respectful to retail workers, they don't get paid enough to deal with your selfish behavior. Also, Jesus and Martin Luther King Jr. are fake, lol, gottem.   I've got no snarky comment to leave here, but feel free to email us 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-08-3112 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsMoon Eff KennedyMoon Kennedy is one of the most influential people of all time, unfortunately he died long before he should have, but we are the only podcast brave enough to even talk about him. Malcolm X is one of the most influential people of all time, unfortunately he died long before he should have, but we are the only podcast brave enough to even talk about him. Mickey Mouse is one of the most influential people of all time, unfortunately he's still around long after he should have gone, but no one wants to even talk about him because he's...2022-08-271h 162 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Dumbest InjuryEveryone has been injured...everyone. What is the stupidest way we have done it. Also, who is the best celebrity?   Have you ever injured yourself in a smart way? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you think Colton's brother should pay him back? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-08-2413 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsSunny Manta RayWe get a little bit more vulnerable with our emotions in this one. Colton elaborates on his religion and personal beliefs. Noah reminisces about his life was like in the mornings before school. Also, we talk about how over time we've both slowly begun to feel more like a man trapped alone...in sunny Manta Ray!   Have you ever learned something twice in one day? If so, what? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you ever stabbed someone with an egg? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-08-201h 092 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Greatest TalentDo you have a talent that is really cool and you are super proud of? Well, most people don't. If you ask the average person what their greatest talent is, they will initially struggle to answer, and then they will tell you something that's kind of cool but still pretty stupid. What I'm trying to say is...people need to get cooler talents.   Do you know what Simon Cowell's talent is? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   What is the stinkiest place you've been? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-08-1611 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsChekhov’s Night SoilThis one is a pretty big deal actually. Colton is going to spend 70 minutes explaining the most important 5 minutes of his life. This is the story of how "I Was Scammed By A Night Soil Salesman". Also, we talk about Harry Potter I think for a little bit, I dunno.   Are there any logical or continuity errors the series of events explained in this episode? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you have any questions about the timeline of Colton watching the Walking Dead before it aired on TV? tg...2022-08-131h 242 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Battle Of The BoatsWe are hitting all the controversial notes in this one. An early 20th century British vessel was sunk by America? Check. An early 20th century Meteor landed in Russia? Check. An early 20th century wooden boat created by a biblical figure 7,000 years ago? Check.   Who is the messiest person you know? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   If Regis Philbin and Jeff Foxworthy were to fight, who would win? Probably Jeff actually. It's not that hard to beat a dead person. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-08-0908 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareThe Plan Of ShameI am back...again...   This time I really mean it. It's time to play catch up on all the time I wasn't watching Lawrence of Arabia like an idiot.   This is a link to the MWN YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2EAV2mvCDenKnXo2al088g   idreamoflawrence@gmail.com2022-08-0711 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsWelcome to O’LodeansThis is the episode where you will get the inside scoop about how all of the companies -- like Turbo Tax and H&R Block -- were run in the early 2000's. You will also learn about the worst way to die, and an Irish pub that got shut down for sliming children.   Remember that if you see Turquise the Clown, tell him to choke on a smidgeon of a pigeon, because he is the worst clown.   You can receive the better audio quality version of this episode by joining Gleep Pl...2022-08-061h 11My Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareA New BeginningSeason 1 is over Season 2 was a bust and Season 3 would probably not work out, so we are skipping directly to Season 4   The journey resumes August 6th   idreamoflawrence@gmail.com2022-08-0501 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Diary EpilogueThis is the third and final part of "The Diary" Saga. That means that there are no more parts. This is the end. And since it's the end we thought it necessary to answer some important questions that you may ponder if you were to begin writing a diary.   Does Martin Luther King Sr. empower you every day? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   What is your favorite method of relieving ball stress? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-08-0212 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsWeepers Losers Keepers FindersEvery single thing is connected in this one. From designing the most fire resistant housing that will transform the entire world, to the rat that delivers Quiznos subs to people at supersonic speeds, and everything in between. What is an example of something that could possibly be between those two things? How about we give you the perfect plan to rob a bank without getting caught...guaranteed. You might want to write some of this down. Also, we fixed Breaking Bad's lackluster scripting and story by adding more Tuco, killing Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman), removing Anna Gunn (Skylar White...2022-07-301h 122 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Diary SequelSvb Hvzm, yzxp ztzrm drgs zmlgsvi vmgib. R pmld blf'iv mlg zm vmgrtb drgs z xliklvzo ylwb yfg blf ziv ivzo gl nv rm nb nrmw Hvzm. (I wrote this in Frankish, so you can never understand it...unless you somehow decode my new language, fat chance of that.)   This is part 2 of the diary trilogy. In this one we are going over the community's concerns about the article we read in the first part.   Send us an email if you need more personal advice about starting your own diary. ...2022-07-2713 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsSuper ZeroesThere are too many people with useless powers out there in the world. We are going to discuss a few of the most prominent ones. Super Soak, Holiday Man, and Johnny Appleseed are the really well known ones. We also touch on Mosquito Man, Sheep Man, Chameleon Man, Ski Man, and Johnny Cherrypit -- though you may not recognize them by name, they have also made an impact on the world.   If you don't like this episode, you can go hockey puck yourself. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Let us know if...2022-07-2358 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Perfect DiaryHow to start a diary AKA how to start a journal if you are too insecure to call it what it is. We go through all of the steps needed to get you on the right path to writing all your thoughts, feelings, quotes, and miscellaneous prompts.   To diary or not to diary, that is the question. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   To journal or not to journal, that is a different question. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com 2022-07-2019 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsHeadless PenismanWe are talking about how easy domestic terrorism is in this one folks. But on a lighter note, we also discuss the seven deadly sins. Also, get ready to chuckle your head off, because there is some physical comedy in this one that is really funny if you see it.   We brought back some old classics in this one for a little Easter egg. Let us know if you noticed when we talked about hot air balloons, 9/11, and the mayo clinic. You might not catch all three on your first listen. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.c...2022-07-161h 052 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Max Magician EpisodeThis is an episode that literally nobody was waiting for, and literally nobody wanted. We talk about Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings. I'd put more effort into this description, but I really just don't want to think about this movie any more if I'm being honest. Just do me a favor and don't ever watch this movie. Thanks.   DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE! 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   I'M ACTUALLY BEING SERIOUS. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-07-1326 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsGum FairiesThis episode is everything you could ever want. I mean there is talk about gum fairies, there is learning about grammar, most importantly we talk about getting your baby sitter to read you a Victoria's Secret magazine while your friend walks the prank all over the underside of your bed   Think you can beat Noah in a typing battle? Challenge accepted. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you know the answer to Colton's question? (Can the first floor be above the second floor?) tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-07-091h 132 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Curious NeighborDid you just move into a new place and don't know how to introduce yourself to your neighbors? Well, we actually have just the questions to help you out. You're welcome.   Let us know if these questions were helpful for you 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Are you interested in babysitting? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-07-0609 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsCarmen’s LawWe are shrinking cities and offending Italians in this one. In 2096 there will be 91 states, the 41 new ones are as follows:   East Dakota, East West Dakota, West West Dakota, Northeast Dakota, Southeast Dakota, Northwest Dakota, Southwest Dakota, North Northeast Dakota, South Northeast Dakota, North Southeast Dakota, South Southeast Dakota, North Northwest Dakota, South Northwest Dakota, North Southwest Dakota, South Southwest Dakota, Middle Dakota, Up Dakota, Down Dakota, Upper Dakota, Downer Dakota, Uppest Dakota, Downest Dakota, Middler Dakota, Middlest Dakota, Top Dakota, Bottom Dakota, High Dakota, Low Dakota, Higher Dakota, Lower Dakota, Highest Dakota, Lowest Dakota, N...2022-07-021h 022 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Lost EpisodeYou are not going to believe this. I literally pulled this audio from the depths of the Gleep archives. It was recorded easily over 3 months ago, and was completely lost to time until about 20 minutes ago when I found it. Wow. That's a really cool story.   What is your favorite Wi-Fi name that you've seen? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Send a message to Colton letting him know that he isn't the milk fiend that everyone makes him out to be. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-06-2811 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsHappy Halloween, BradBrad, it's your father...Mike. You are the reason your mother and I separated. You are the worst son. As soon as I learned that you were still alive all these years later, I knew that I needed to kill myself. A little bit off track, but the guy that owns this house -- where my body was seemingly thrown from the roof -- had nothing to do with my death, and is actually a pretty nice guy. Actually, now that I think of it, he deserves all of my money, and you deserve none, Brad. You are terrible...2022-06-251h 102 Gleeps2 GleepsPee Gleeps (w/3 Gleep)This is the episode everyone has been waiting for...for like a week. We really delve into the pee of things, and plan to every even year in June going forward.   If you need any Pee-vice, or just any general guidance that could even minimally be related to urine, send it to us and we will potentially answer it in two years (For some issues you may want to see a doctor instead of waiting the two years, but if you do wait, just know that it is free). This submission is open forever, because w...2022-06-2214 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsSteven Spielberg’s Perfect WomanWe talk about movies that everyone has heard of in this episode. We introduce the perfect hypothetical, and discuss how Steven Spielberg lets his alien fetish leak into every one of his films. You might also want to listen to this episode if you have ever wondered what we would do if we were the ones that made Friday The 13th.   Let us know what other movies we should read the synopsis of. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Please send only the email below some movie suggestions for a more...personal...us...2022-06-181h 192 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Newest Holidays Oh my God! We just invented two brand new holidays, and you are forced to celebrate them. Novemthirteenth -- this is a holiday that takes place on November 13th believe it or not -- and Bankmas Eve, the one that takes place on December 13th. Why are they both on the 13th of the month? Don't ask us, we didn't...ok...we did. Shut up.   How are you planning to celebrate Bankmas Eve? Let us know 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Is Novemthirteenth going to be a better holiday than Thanksgiving? Pro...2022-06-1408 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsHindus And Hindon’tsWe finally bring up the giant tit in the room, and talk about the worst creatures that exist. Everyone knows about them, and we all refuse to acknowledge them. Did you know The Bible is extremely literal with everything it says? Also, in case you are wondering, we talk about the birth process of Gleeps that takes place every 1000 years. I hope the intern Rufus' bold recommendation works out for him. Also, I don't think we even bring up guns once in this episode.   Would you rather, be our God's mom or get shot in t...2022-06-111h 032 Gleeps2 GleepsHamster History: OriginsEveryone on Earth has been waiting for this episode...well...here it is you freaks. We talk about Hamsters and how to keep them fed and fit. Also, stop domesticating you pets.   This is where there would normally be links to our emails, but you are actually not allowed to email us about this episode, so I'm not even going to put them here. 2022-06-0823 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsTwo Gleeps Of Fat Or LessHave you ever wondered what the experts do behind closed doors, what Home Depot is like on a management level, and the secrets behind the Rochester Minnesota exclusive restaurant Pannekoeken? Well, that is extremely specific, but oddly enough this episode will actually answer all of those questions.   Why is Jeff Bezos depressed? Why does Elon Musk smell? Is Bill Nye actually a science guy? Is William Gates the bad kind of gay (the kind that sucks on tiny little boys)? Is Alan Dershowitz a normal lawyer? Is John Fitch still alive? If you know the a...2022-06-041h 142 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Perfect CrimeToday is all about getting banned from the library, but for what reason would the esteemed hosts of this podcast possibly get banned? It's something you will have to listen to in order to find out. Also, all of it is true! Probably. Maybe.   Let us know if you'd like to have the ability to shield your ants! We are having a clearance sale on stupid powers! 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Maybe you would rather have the ability to shoot testicles from your nose on command? This power is full pr...2022-05-3109 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsPartofuilleWe are not only talking about memory wipes (The greatest invention since panty vending machines), but we also discuss the driving force behind all wars. Also Shia The Beef and parcheesi.   Do you want to send Noah words of encouragement of discouragement over his plans to kill himself at 47,000 downloads? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you have some cool fictional foods to add to Colton's cool nonfictional really long and detailed list? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-281h 332 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Riddles ThreeWhat is the worst talking animal and how would you talk yourself out of prison?   Do you like Peanut MnutM's? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you like Walllnuts instead? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-2513 min2 Gleeps2 Gleeps100 Bottles Of Podcasts (Deleted Scene)This section was cut from the last episode for some reason, but I figured people would still want to listen to it. Just because "it is a waste of time" and "it goes on for too long" doesn't mean it should've been deleted. Also, this episode is not optional and is in fact mandatory listening. 2022-05-2213 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsHow I Met Your ParentsWe've got some new noodle inventions for Chef-Boy Ardee if he wants them. We also build a Fortnite island and kick some Keeeeeeebleeeeerrel elves. Last but not least, we contemplate the age old question "Would you kick a dog to save it?"   Do you have a cool Native American name? Please send it to this email. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Hey, what time is it there? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-211h 212 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Mental GamesMental tic-tac-toe is the best thing since pre-diced bread, but are we just scratching the surface? If we look down yonder horizon, mayhap when can find our Magnum Au Pair.   That was a typo, I meant "Opus". 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   But a Magnum Au Pair would be pretty cool too. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-1811 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsBaby Plane: ComeuppanceThis episode has only a few main themes. First, Baby Plane. There really doesn't seem to be much else I need to say about that, it's pretty self explanitory. Second, John Quinoa...Cuinone...Kiwipenis. He's beating people up because it makes him feel alive. Also, who is the coolest Nazi?   If you had a tube city, what would you do? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   If you want to learn CPR, just ask. It's not difficult difficult lemon difficult. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-141h 382 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Kiede DiatribeThis is the episode where we talk about our TV show idea that is not a rip off of Punk'd. We also mention Shark Tank I think...I dunno. If your heart can't handle this, maybe you should skip this episode.   Do you think you are good enough to be on our TV show? Send us your audition tapes of being kicked in the balls. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Auditions are only open to persons 18+ unless given express written permission from a legal guardian. Gender is irrelevant, and anyone can ap...2022-05-1109 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsKentucky Fried...We're talkin' peaks, we're talkin' penguins, we're talkin' Joe Pesci's robber accomplice loves getting hit in the balls. Colton's got a pickup line, and a name for his son.    If you knew what KFC stood for before this episode, prove it. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   If you have seen days of our lives and want to hear us talk about it, prove it. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-071h 352 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Healthiest Way To Kill A Deer, ThoughWhat is the point of answering questions from the internet if we are going to talk about murdering deer instead?   Would you like a copy of The Healthiest Way To Kill A Deer, Though? The rate is personalized per person, so we are going to have to discuss it 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you know of any healthy ways to kill deer? Maybe we can add it to the book! We won't even credit you either! Isn't that exciting? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-0409 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsGod’s MistakeThis episode has quite a few topics, so let me try to break them down for you. We do some talking about earcholocation and bigfeets. We figured out that Dr. Seuss caused the holocaust, how Boo-Boo the  bear was named, Noah's phone number is (507) 993-7329, everyone on the school bus makes fun of Carlos, and we get another email address I guess. ...Also, Harriet Tub, Man or Myth?   Do you know where to find Theodoris, and want to tell the worse Gleep? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Care to...2022-05-031h 422 Gleeps2 GleepsThe 9/11 ElephantsWhy does everyone blame elephants for 9/11? Who was Columbus trying to impress? What are Galileo Galilei's biggest foibles? Maybe we are about to tell you, if you'd be a little patient.   Did you live longer then Gal Gal? Tell me how. I want to live forever, please. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-05-0111 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Loner BonerThis is a new format of bonus episode where we answer preset questions directly from the internet because we are cool and original. Also, I think we only actually answered one question. This is part one of however many I think are worth posting of us reading questions.   Do you know anything about the disappearance of Jodi Huisentruit or other 5/10 news anchors? Tell us so we can take credit. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-2608 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsSanta’s ArkIt's time you here the official story of Noah's arc and Santa's ark. There is a heated exchange of words about small pox blankets, and we talk about a lot of movies (so this is an official spoiler warning)   If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with PTCD or other emotional trauma involving Filipino men, you may be entitled to financial compensation. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-231h 392 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Claudette Colvin SoapboxNow, this is a story for all that I know. Only one of the hosts played tic-tac-toe. And I'd like to take a minute -- so don't make a fuss -- to tell you about the woman at the back of the bus.   Did you get that it was supposed to be to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-1910 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsJanitor: Landfill AdventureDo you like goober peas? Do you live tornado alley? Do you have tub of milk? Do you know splodgeuswallow? Do you hate Dr. Seuss? Scooters? This and more! But mostly just this...in today's episode.   Do you know any hidden secrets about the seed vault? Tell us please. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-161h 222 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Greens Of Their EggsDon't fire until you see the greens of their eggs.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-1210 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsDial M For MiggerColton teaches Noah about boats, phones, ears, bananas, and lawn care. Also be careful because the night stalk and Edgar's pack might get you while you sleep   If you know anything about the Alamo, we are willing to trade information with you about the secrets of the Midwest. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-091h 272 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Living DarkDoes anybody remember that movie "Living Dark" from like 10 years ago? No? Just me? Well this episode has nothing to do with that. It's just a title that loosely fit with the theme...Just listen to the episode and you'll get it   Wait, you actually do remember "Living Dark: The Story of Ted the Caver"? let's talk about it if you want. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-0608 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsBraneurysm Side BJust read the description of Side A, it's the same episode, but the second half. Today we learned why Cuban cigars are so good, and we learned about the prisoner of Pakistan.   Do you hate us because we just casually assumed that everyone listening knows what volksgemeinshaft is? Yell at us here 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-04-0251 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Hemingway OutThis is a crazy little bonus episode about an ancient critique, and Colton's suicide in his past life as the most earnest Ernest.   Let us know if you were a famous person in the before time. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Also, I think I'm legally obligated to put the phone number to a suicide help line in the description, but I don't know it off the top of my head. It is also too much work to open up a new tab. In fact it would probably be easier just to...2022-03-2909 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsSpruce Springsteen Side AThis episode was so large that the entire thing wouldn't fit on one MIDI file. Luckily this is a two sided tape, and there are no other plans to do anything with the other side. Also, we talk about IQ and pneumonia guns.   It turns out the really tall building in India that Colton was thinking about was actually the Burj Khalifa, he is just really dumb, and thought Dubai was in India. If you still want to correct him anyway, don't hesitate. It's one of the best ways to remind him of his mistake.2022-03-2554 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Sparch StoryThis is easily the scariest episode that has ever been recorded. Get ready, because you're going to be begging to pee your pants after you hear about Colton's neighbors.   If you have a story that will actually makes us shiver our timbers, don't hesitate to tell us. If you can make either of us poop a little because of how spooky your story is, I will actually Venmo you USD $5. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-03-2215 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsR.I.P. HmonkWelcome to The Orient! Colton submitted a user email, Martha Stewart has committed a crime so heinous that no one is even willing to mention it (which we talk about), and we go over the civil rights movement without simplifying it or skipping any details. Also, the cool kids these days are ditching the vapes to eat chalk.   If you killed your manager (or have access to drugs), or even just want us to think you did, let us know. You are legally a cooler person now. This IS financial advice. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.c...2022-03-181h 142 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Barnyard EpisodeRemember when we said we were going to watch Barnyard? Well, we did, so we might as well get some content out of it that is as juicy as Nora Beady's hips; otherwise, it would feel like we watched this children's movie for no good reason.   Let us know what your favorite scene of this movie is, and why it's the scene toward the end when Daisy gives birth, you freak. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com 2022-03-1527 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsMY SSN IS 387-13-5556Have you ever heard people talk about Star Wars, the true Danny Tanner, and Mike Lindell's pillow in a single podcast episode? Also, Jeff Bezos is launching Bill Gates into the sun.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com If you were planning to send an email trying to correct Colton by saying "It's actually Siegfried & Roy not Sigmund & Roy", don't bother. It's called a pun...a transitional play on words even. Use this link, it may help you better understand a joke.   2022-03-111h 102 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Scatman ComethThis episode is short, but straight to the point, a casual conversation that gets brought up by most people at least twice a year; and by that I mean Jesus' penis and God's breasts. Also, does your dad have the same fetish as Santa?   We do have an email. If you know anything that you would like us to know for future conversations about poop, please don't hesitate to inform us. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   2022-03-0810 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsAtlantis StunkThis is the episode where we talk about 9/11, Atlantis, and the Mayo Clinic for the first and only time. Also, get ready to learn how to craft the perfect joke.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com 2022-03-041h 082 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Tamagotchi EffectI guess this time we are talking about G4, Netflix, and the Furby. Also isn't it a little weird that everything happened in 1998? 2022-03-0111 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmarePeter O’ToolePeter O'Toole is the man behind the mask of T.E. Lawrence on the critically acclaimed "Lawrence of Arabia". There was recently a documentary released about his life and personality; unfortunately, most of it is in Irish so I couldn't understand it. Seriously, if anyone knows Irish and wants to translate it for me, shoot me an email.   idreamoflawrence@gmail.com   https://www.factinate.com/people/facts-peter-otoole/2022-02-2612 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsWholesIt's a good day to talk about the one and only William Howard Taft and the wild west. Also, the movie "Holes" has deeper meaning than you remember. 2022-02-2556 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsThe Life And Death Of Steward EstherIt's time to learn about counties, boroughs, and geography. Also, Stewart Ester smells really bad. 2022-02-2208 min2 Gleeps2 GleepsLBJ Killed JFKConspiracy theories are abound. Snakes can melt steel beams, Amelia Earhart is a woman, and nobody talks about the coolest people in history. Also, we invented mental tic-tac-toe. 2022-02-181h 022 Gleeps2 GleepsChina Isn’t RealChina paid for what they did to pearl harbor, and Taiwan took the initiative. FDR isn't racist...hopefully, but he does have that classic American hubris. Also, stop huffing exhaust pipes. 2022-02-181h 272 Gleeps2 GleepsThis Is A TrailerSacagawea was such a controversial president that people forget she ever was, but Alexander Hamilton was never in charge yet people praise his presidency. Also, The American Woman doesn't get paid a fair wage.   This is a trailer, whether you like it or not. 2022-02-1805 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareThe 2 Gleeps EpisodeThis episode of My Waking Nightmare might just be the craziest episode yet...because it's not an episode of My Waking Nightmare. That's right, only one episode after reviving the podcast that takes an immense amount of time and effort to create, Colton has started another project. Does he suddenly have more free time? Will he ever learn? Will he always bury himself under loads of unnecessary work? Is he still behind on how many times he should've seen 'Lawrence of Arabia' by now? The answer to all of those questions is "No"...except the last one...the answer to...2022-01-051h 28My Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareProspective: A Series RevivalYou thought that a mere movie would be able to defeat me? Ha! While I admit that I have never faced a foe this powerful, it will take more than 11 watches to destroy me in battle. I'm back with a vengeance, and I'm extremely far behind where I should be if I want to finish this stupid 1001 watches before my time runs out.2021-12-2112 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareRetrospective: A Series FailureThere is no description for this episode.2021-02-2307 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareLawrence NewsHow often could people in the news be talking about Lawrence of Arabia? Pretty often apparently. Is this a permanent segment? Is this a one time thing? There is only one way to find out... Send me an email at IDreamOfLawrence@gmail.com I will maybe read them. Mostly I'm just interested in the Spam. That's where all the cool stuff is.2021-02-0628 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareLawrence On The GoAn experiment in travel podcasting, isn't totally...I mean, I wouldn't call it a complete failure. I just also wouldn't call it a...uh...I don't want to talk about it. Just skip to the next episode I think.2021-01-3019 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking Nightmare2002: An Arabian OdysseyGo on a journey in finding out what Lawrence of Arabia could have been about if it was written by an 8 year old boy that had recently seen Finding Nemo...I think. It is an epic tale that has been sung for ages, ever since the movie released back in 1996. There is also an interview hidden in their somewhere, but the questions don't really make any sense (I blame Evan for that).2021-01-2432 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareCool Facts And A ConspiracyListen in as Colton reads through a totally original list of cool amazing facts about Lawrence that he gruelingly crafted using his very own knowledge, because he is really awesome and is always prepared for everything ever. Colton also uncovers a conspiracy that may change our perception of history as we know it.2021-01-1616 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareDaud and FarrajIt's time to learn about Daud and Farraj, the two best characters in the movie (Farraj is better, but Daud is still pretty cool). We will discuss how cool they are. We will also talk about how they are the reason for most of the comic relief in the film. Also Jenkins sucks. Also poems.2021-01-0817 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareMy First WatchIn this episode, Colton goes over his hopes and dreams...in regards to the movie of course. He will also go through a very (and I mean very) rough synopsis of the film for anyone who hasn't seen it, but is still listening to the podcast for some reason.2021-01-0121 minMy Waking NightmareMy Waking NightmareMy Waking Nightmare TrailerOver the course of the next 10 years I will be watching Lawrence of Arabia (1962) 1001 times. Listen as I slowly regret my life choices more and more after each watch. I will talk about everything: break downs of the plot, how I despise the movie, my favorite and least favorite scenes, how I feel trapped in a never ending loop of torture, alternate universe versions of the movie, how I would do anything for the pain to end, the amazing music, and more! Join me to experience my waking nightmare.2020-12-2501 min