Shows
Football ClichesThe threshold for being "rudderless" & Tour de France riders as footballersAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The knowledgeable Wimbledon crowd being too knowledgeable, ex-Tottenham midfield maestros in West African percussion, Adam's addiction to identifying football matches in the background of TV shows, questionable depictions of the football calendar in Danish science fiction novels and much more.
Meanwhile, the panel give their vivid images of Tour de France riders as football players, based on their name alone.
Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and m...2025-07-1746 minFootball ClichesThe 100-minute fetish club, Love Actually in Naples, and the ultimate "released on DVD" gameAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the art of the double guard of honour, a baffling soundtrack to Napoli’s Scudetto ceremony, England one-cap wonders' names in old episodes of The Bill, Premier League players whose names belong in other sports and the start of what could be the greatest saga in investigative football podcasting history.
Meanwhile, the panel ponder which game is the most “have it on DVD and never watch it” game of all time.
Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to...2025-05-2752 minFootball ClichesMarmoush's hat-trick of Etihad gasps, Messi in Mobland & what makes a "shrewd" signingAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Will Still’s inevitable English football unveiling edges closer, the Etihad reaction to Omar Marmoush’s wonder goal, Lionel Messi pops up in Mobland, mid-table Eredivisie clubs in sci-fi novels and some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from Serie A.
Meanwhile, the panel decide what makes a signing "shrewd" and hear a story of some overengineered 6-a-side organisation.
Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/Extr...2025-05-2249 minFootball ClichesThe Dean Henderson Final, Scottish police enganches & the hitman criteriaAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the weekend's hat-trick of feelgood football stories (feat. Sean Dyche's co-commentary vindication), a surprise football name in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a superbly named Scottish police officer, a perfectly proportionate voiceover in an advert for An Evening With Matt Le Tissier and Harry Winks' knowledge of semi-obscure Premier League veterans.
Meanwhile, the panel ponder if Dean Henderson met the "The [Player X] Final" threshold and decide what defines a striker as a "hitman".
Adam's book, Extra Time...2025-05-201h 02Football ClichesThe League of Farmers, metaphorical mountains & UFO-spotting Premier League managersAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the secret behind Watford's managerial recruitment strategy, Luis Enrique on "farmers leagues", a superb conclusion to a fine couple of weeks for football-themed papal conclave discourse, Premier League managers’ names in UFO sightings, Clive Tyldesley’s legal rights over the name “Clive”, bawdy banter in the TNT gantry and the optimum amount of time to be "rotting in the reserves".
Meanwhile, the panel ponder football's metaphorical "mountain to climb".
Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and...2025-05-1341 minFootball ClichesStanley Tucci's Champions League punditry, Furniccio Villaggione & a chat with Rudi VollerAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of Inter 4-3 Barcelona (from both sides of the Atlantic), the fascinating depths of the Trent Alexander-Arnold legacy discourse, MK Dons going round in circles as they unveil their new crest, a journey into the unravelling media persona of Graham Potter, the football-inspired phrase "moving the goalposts" and much more.
Meanwhile, the panel speak to the star of last week's Footballers' Names in Things, a certain Rudi Voller.
Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom...2025-05-0859 minFootball ClichesPerfectly-timed crowd noise, Jacko Wilsheri & managers who qualify as "glorified PE teachers”Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as they clock up 1,001 combined pod appearances. On the agenda: some perfectly timed crowd noise to meet a commentator's 4/10 pun, Andy Gray's influence on snooker commentary, Kevin De Bruyne giving the shortest shrift possible to a stat, Crystal Palace fans vs Eberechi Eze's penalty run-up, Trent Alexander-Arnold's Bernabeu unveiling and much more.
Meanwhile, the panel decide which managers fit the criteria to be called “glorified PE teachers”.
Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of F...2025-05-0647 minFootball ClichesFootball's present-tense addiction & penalty shootout celebrations: The listeners' loves & hatesAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are gaslighting your partner with deliberately difficult football trivia, the art of skipping highlights to perfectly miss out the punditry, the modern game’s addiction to the present tense and the most "mid-game" possible celebration for scoring a penalty in a shootout.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some very unexpected footballers names in international news stories, try to comprehend a shock David Seaman statistic and...2025-05-011h 03Football ClichesAccidental FIFA commentary, Newcastle's Fibonacci fate & Premier League cliche analyticsAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Wembley's drum-beat woodwork, the most "mid-2000s FIFA game" commentary of the season, why Newcastle now must win 21 league titles in a row or the world will implode, the textbook FA Cup final pairing, and mapping Manchester United's doldrums era to that of Liverpool's 1990-2020.
Meanwhile, the panel contemplate the Club World Cup, live on Channel 5, and absorb a listener's deep data dive on Premier League press-conference cliches.
Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use...2025-04-291h 02Football ClichesPope John Gregory, Premier League clubs as supermarkets & route-one crowd noiseAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: managers accidentally inviting Dave to their birthday parties, Clive Tyldesley's Substack innuendo, ex-Premier League managers’ names in popes, fascinatingly-named Malaysian referees, Chris Sutton's Sir Jim Ratcliffe impression, the most perfectly flowing EFL crowd noise of the seasonMeanwhile, the panel review a listener's "If Premier League Clubs Were Supermarkets" rundown and decide the most “hands over the head clapping the fans after a game” manager of all time.Adam's book, Extra Time B...2025-04-2446 minFootball ClichesFact-checking Paul Scholes, caretaker popes & Olivier Giroud's lockerAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mark Clattenburg's Generation Alpha breakthrough, the search continues for the origin of "pre-assist", the dubious footballing memory of Paul Scholes, the fascinating name of the Malaysia national team captain, interim popes with Premier League interim managers’ names and Richard Keys in top wind-up form over on BeIN Sports.Meanwhile, the panel decide if a 5-1 aggregate win can ever be a "thrashing" and if a supermarket can have its own "DNA".Adam's bo...2025-04-2256 minFootball ClichesThe Premier League Unfinished Business XIAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller to pick a lineup of players destined to be subject to the gravitational pull of the Premier League to give it (at least) one more crack in the next few years.The selection process involves some written-off goalkeepers, defenders who will come crawling back from Saudi Arabia, veteran midfielders doing one more season at their hometown club after winning the World Cup for England, Harry Kane’s carefully-planned final assault on Alan Shearer’s goalscoring record, and getting one step ahead of the...2025-04-171h 24Football ClichesPrince William's punditry, TNT's "hipster gunk" and a gift from the Keys & Gray godsAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Prince William's absurdly highly-acclaimed "punditry", the Premier League club that would produce the most uneventful in-house documentary, the criteria for a team to "roar back" from a losing position, the self-proclaimed inventor of the "pre-assist" and the Cliches pod makes its TikTok debut.Meanwhile, the panel decide if a team can "return to the scene" of a momentous win at their home ground and enjoy the highlights of some gold-standard Keys & Gray output from the weekend.2025-04-1556 minFootball ClichesRibblesdale Rovers vs The Rules, Chris Sutton vs football jargon & the exact definition of a "hoick”Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: A scandalous Sunday League saga, obscure staff members on Transfermarkt, Chris Sutton manufacturing his disapproval for modern footballing jargon, some joyful commentary that only a Niclas Fullkrug header could inspire and improvised electroacoustic albums inspired by injury-plagued former Premier League defenders.Meanwhile, the panel establish the exact practical definition of the verb “to hoick” and decide if a northern-hemisphere domestic league can be allowed to have "apertura" and "clausura" stages.Adam's book...2025-04-1043 minFootball ClichesThe ultimate managerial indignity & everything ITV crime dramas get wrong about footballAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Kevin De Bruyne greatness fatigue, the concept of "pulling rank" at a set piece, a new low for clickbait football headlines, the indignity of a manager being sacked before they can go down with the ship, several huge problems with the football realism in an ITV detective series and Keys & Gray corner roars back into form.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni...2025-04-0846 minFootball ClichesFree-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas BrothersAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: football pundits available on a free transfer, Big Dan Burn's week becomes a fortnight, a commentator superbly self-policing his woodwork judgment, some unexpected co-commentary during North Macedonia vs Wales, the Maldini/Baresi myth claims a high-profile victim, ex-Spurs defenders in Jonas Brothers singles and Chelsea suffer a textbook club-crisis moment.Meanwhile, the panel wonder if Erling Haaland has passed the "human after all" stage and discuss the unevolving art of pun-based FPL team names.2025-04-0143 minFootball Cliches”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hatesAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the curious tradition of a visiting team's pre-match stroll around the pitch, the reactions of fans behind a goal observed during an action replay, the moral seesaw of witnessing players drinking from opposition water bottles and the alarmingly low bar for things that make it into a centre-back’s pre-match TV analysis montage.Adam's book, Extra Time Bec...2025-03-2756 minFootball Cliches90/10 tackles, Danish player ratings & how to board a train like a 30-goal strikerAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the ongoing inability of the USA to put together a decent football team, a possible new world record for away fans not realising their team have scored at the opposite end, the Danish media's absurd player-ratings systems and niche player-on-player social media spats.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a "90/10 tackle" might look like and enjoy a listener comparing his ability to board a Tube train to a striker gambling on a rebound....2025-03-2549 minFootball ClichesWoke metrics, Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name & our niche England predictionsAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name on Pointless, Wilfried Zaha confronts some modern footballing discourse head-on, Patrik Schick's uniquely selfish attacking statistics this season, a Europa League legend bows out, a pundit finally confronts the "players geeing up the crowd" epidemic, "the Lionel Messi of acting", soap-opera free transfers and a glorious Cliches tribute from an ice hockey commentator.Meanwhile, the panel make their niche predictions for the upcoming England games and discuss a listener approaching their...2025-03-2058 minFootball ClichesThe Carabao springboard, more musical commentary & the most Richard Keys-sounding tweet of all timeAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the League Cup's modern status as a "springboard" for its winners, Gary Neville stealing Peter Drury's lines, Dan Burn and the "what a week he's having" threshold, the German concept of a "Sunday goal", some beautiful commentary vibrato, and Doncaster's manager on "swings and roundabouts".Meanwhile, the panel laud Thomas Tuchel's response to the now-traditional questions about singing the national anthem and hear news of a welcome development for generic match balls in the film industry.2025-03-1846 minFootball ClichesKnowing your way around the Champions League, German woodwork & England's future one-cap wondersAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the near-universal enjoyment of Liverpool vs PSG, second-tier German woodwork noises, some fascinating BBC archive content involving some disgruntled 1970s Match of the Day viewers, the most common object used to explain the offside law and much more.Meanwhile, the panel confidently predict some future England one-cap wonders, based on some historical criteria.Listen to, watch and follow The England PodApple/Spotify - https://podfollow...2025-03-131h 07Football ClichesThe whole 11.2 yards, DNA-level Lampardian Transitions - and Keys & Gray become oneAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a very appropriate Glastonbury slot for one football-adjacent artist, Sky's obsession with Arsenal's 11.2-yard wall at a Manchester United free kick, LinkedIn's latest football breakthrough, a tremendous Footballers’ Names in Things from Down Under, some unacceptable self-co-commentary at 5-a-side and, finally, the answer to the question of what happens if you merge Richard Keys with Andy Gray.Meanwhile, the panel ponder the low-key football tradition of having initials printed on a tracksuit and the sweet spot for th...2025-03-111h 00Football ClichesThe Pure Discourse XIAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to pick a lineup of players who have provoked the most endless wider debate about their on-pitch roles.The selection process takes in the precise moment a certain type of goalkeeper became brutally obsolete, a stand-out choice at right-back, inverted left-backs, overadventurous centre-backs, England’s infamous "perennial left-sided problem", culture-war-starting midfielders and strikers who don't actually score. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy an unlikely Millwall influence on Korean hip-hop.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Pe...2025-03-061h 24Football ClichesHow to time a red card, penalty run-ups & commentator Robyn Cowen voice-controls a stadiumAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some entry-level superlatives for Lionel Messi, Jean-Philippe Mateta and the "if you did that to someone on the street" test, some hugely undignified refereeing body language on the way for 2025/26, some technical issues with declaring "the fastest red card ever", a commentator in perfect sync with a stadium PA system and Eddie Howe describes the haka in the most Eddie Howe way possible.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what makes a win a brushing or a sweeping and...2025-03-0446 minFootball ClichesChampions-elect, relegated Rishi Sunak & Premier League managers with Athletic subscriptionsAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Liverpool can now be described as "champions-elect", Dion Dublin struggles with a meandering property analogy, a listener fact-checks a Match of the Day joke about Rishi Sunak, a slightly-too-niche football reference on a mainstream TV quiz show, and much more.Meanwhile, the panel ponder which Premier League manager is most likely to have an Athletic subscription and and the precise parameters of “we could do worse than signing [Player X]”Adam's book...2025-02-2548 minFootball ClichesHow to celebrate an own goal & ball-boy etiquette: The listeners' loves & hatesAdam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the various types of football-related social media profile pictures, the efficient language of mid-game team-mate praise, the correct level of thanks a ball boy should get from players and the appropriate celebration for an opposition own goal.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy the reaction to England manager Thomas Tuchel working from home and some unexpected Premier League c...2025-02-2056 minFootball ClichesChuckling stadiums, Things-in-Chief and, finally, some actual whispering of it quietlyAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the rare sound of a football crowd chuckling in unison, a definitive list of football’s acceptable “things-in-chief”, a deep dive into the nuances of Jude Bellingham’s La Liga dissent, some classic-style 96th-minute olé-ing from Argentina, Manchester City midfielders’ names in Northumbrian psych-folk, someone actually "whispering it quietly, but" and some supposedly frivolous footballing jargon of the 1970s.Meanwhile, the panel debate the threshold for a crowd chanting "we want [X number of goals]" and respond to...2025-02-1856 minFootball ClichesCrosses from the 1990s, baseball scores & the death of the managerial "war cry”Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Champions League broadcasting quirks, Alan Shearer and the extinct art of crossing the ball, the most prefix-defying clubs of the 92, the rise and fall of managers "issuing a war cry" and much more.Meanwhile, the panel speculate on what would happen to a precocious goalscorer who couldn’t stop getting sent off.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: ht...2025-02-1358 minFootball ClichesNursery rhymes with Fletch, Clark Kent goalkeeping & under-12s away-day cauldronsAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary, a new Premier League low bar for irony, whether Southampton 0 Burnley 1 counts as an FA Cup upset, some inconvenient truths about Manchester City's trip to Leyton Orient, unexpected Portuguese footballers' names in things and home advantage in under-12s football.Meanwhile, the panel engage in some earnest Messi vs Ronaldo chat and agree upon the most "haven't turned up" scoreline.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons...2025-02-1156 minFootball ClichesThe "17th chess piece", the death of the onion bag & coded messages to the boardAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Fabian Hurzeler upgrades the traditional football "basics", darts and chess offer their versions of "the 12th man", an unexpected superstar signing for Club Brugge, Premier League players wrestle with some traditional English football phrases, and much more.Meanwhile, the panel discuss the art of managers "sending a message to the board" and undertake a cultural review of Arsenal 5 Manchester City 1.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse...2025-02-041h 01Football ClichesReferees vs The Limelight, passages of terror & Matt 1 Hernia 0Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: yet another new rival for the "corridor of uncertainty", the media taking Ruben Amorim slightly too literally, a listener's deciding an appropriate scoreline for his hernia operation, more Ligue 1 voiceover curiosity, and a tribute to the soon-to-be-retired Eurosport brand.Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether referees really do "seek the limelight" and whether the new-look Champions League officially passes the “whisper it but...” threshold.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to U...2025-01-3046 minFootball Cliches"Football, bloody football", UK garage Postecoglou & the exact weight of a Premier League pointAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Walker's Ribblesdale Rovers side have a relegation battle on their hands, a subtle misremembering of that Sir Alex Ferguson quote, Jamie Redknapp's curious refereeing vote of confidence, former England wingers on Antiques Roadshow, accidental UK garage from Ange Postecoglou, some pathological footballspeak in everyday life, yet more incorrect football chanting in adverts and, finally, an answer to the question: how much does a Premier League point weigh?Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use...2025-01-2845 minFootball ClichesCometh the quinquennium, cometh the podAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Football Cliches podcast's fifth anniversary. The agenda includes: a Serie A commentary tribute from an unexpected source, the 1990 version of “if Lionel Messi did that, we’d all be raving about it”, yet another Premier League name in a true-crime documentary, co-commentator Gary Breen plucks some Barry Manilow out of nowhere, a one-time-only return for Premier League Years Playlist Bingo and a celebration of half a decade of having the language of football on absolute toast.Meanwhile, the panel briefly ponder how many c...2025-01-231h 00Football ClichesHas the Premier League hit peak “What a job [Manager X] is doing up/down there?”Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more sub-standard depictions of football fans in advertising, football commentators’ names in Anglo-Australian crime dramas, the greatest substitution in the history of the Scottish Cup, the perennial joy of a stadium exclaiming something in perfect unison and a pedantic observation on Phil Foden's goal celebration.Meanwhile, the panel ponder the question: is this the most “what a job [Manager X] is doing” Premier League season of all time? Adam's book, Extra...2025-01-2156 minFootball ClichesPortrait-aspect football & England managers in the stands: The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Chloe Petts)Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Chloe Petts to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are how football improves our basic maths, players' pointless pre-match Instagram content, a half-time dad joke from an Evertonian, the overrated significance of the England manager attending a game, the "portraitification of football" and late substitutes being named man of the match.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel learn more about t...2025-01-161h 00Football ClichesWW2 with Ray Parlour, Tamworth's global appeal & the 1863 Ballon d'Or winnerAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the FA Cup third round, Ray Parlour sums up the Second World War in 16 superb seconds, someone finally reveals who the best footballer in the world was in 1863, the Sam Allardici of building materials and the worst fake football commentary ever heard in the background of a Korean Netflix drama.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni...2025-01-1449 minFootball ClichesTrip-hop Liam Delap, the terminal velocity of a lob & the goal gifting crisisAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and, for his 250th Cliches appearance, David Walker. On the agenda: Newcastle having “a little toe” in the Carabao Cup final, an updated cast list for the Roy Keane/Mick McCarthy film, whether a lob could ever "rattle the crossbar", a Liam Delap penalty that sounds like late-90s trip-hop, a defence of Ferencvaros' credentials as "giants”, some accidental footballspeak when switching broadband providers and much more.Meanwhile, the panel decide if West Ham's treatment of Julen Lopetegui reached the "shabby" threshold and wh...2025-01-0944 minFootball ClichesThe first embers of a game, heavy-metal Jonathan Pearce & the Andy Gray of lacrosseAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the first Adjudication Panel of 2025. On the agenda: Richard Keys and Dwight Yorke disagree over Harry Maguire's 0.62xG miss, Don Goodman invents a new mid-game mini time period, Jonathan Pearce sounding like Axl Rose, a never-before-uttered animal analogy for a veteran goalgetter, a perfect hat-trick of Andy Townsending, Ange Postecoglou's barely-contained rage, a barman who has memorised every Premier League result ever and some familiar-sounding lacrosse commentary from the US.Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The...2025-01-0743 minFootball ClichesThe blip-to-crisis benchmark, Comedy Central defending & Australian red card musicAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a new term for slapstick defending, a historic day for Premier League manager sackings, more accidentally operatic BBC commentary, some dubious red-card stadium music in Australia and much more.Meanwhile, the panel decide when Manchester City's "blip" became a "slump" and then a full-blown "crisis" and discuss the reported successors to Gary Lineker on Match of the Day.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The...2024-12-1742 minFootball ClichesCommentators sampled in experimental French pop & the ultimate generic multi-club ownership groupAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mick McCarthy on Steve Coogan playing him in a film, Charlton manager Nathan Jones takes on the weather, Martin Keown on the re-opening of Notre Dame, a curious injury league table from the BBC, Sky Sports commentators inexplicably sampled in experimental French electronica and a tautologous Spanish non-league club.Meanwhile, the panel try to identify the most finger-wagging player and compile their ultimate generic multi-club ownership group.Adam's new book, Extra...2024-12-1243 minFootball ClichesUnexpected Sutton, diags on MOTD & the “good time to play them” thresholdAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Cole Palmer's perfect Panenka, the latest breach of Match of the Day protocol, the minor media obsession with getting managers to admit their team is in the title race, obscure mid-90s Spurs midfielders in Netflix comedies and the dream scenario for fans ridiculing the opposition goalkeeper's goal kicks.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the Club World Cup’s group of death and pick apart the “good time to play them” theory.Adam's...2024-12-1044 minFootball ClichesThe best 9.3% of the FA Cup draw, the "stand named after you" threshold & Richard Keys on carsAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some baffling new transferspeak, some glorious audio of away fans thinking they've scored and being immediately ridiculed by the home crowd, the nichest FA Cup draw content you will ever consume, more average mid-90s English wingers’ names in things and Richard Keys going 80% Partridge as he presents from the 1988 Motor Show.Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a club legend would have to do to get a stand named after them or a statue built in th...2024-12-0538 minFootball ClichesAn educated left head, the first goal ever uploaded to YouTube & the "big-money signing" formulaAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the mainstream media jump on the Pep Sacking Threshold bandwagon, some beautifully unnecessary detail about a headed goal, a commentator lets down Robbie Savage very gently, former Blackburn wingers' names implicated in boat murders, the first ever goal uploaded to YouTube, a Harry Redknapp headline for the ages and Keys & Gray visit the Qatar Grand Prix.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the minimum price tag for a Premier League "big-money signing" and explore the nuances of who "...2024-12-0341 minFootball ClichesSunday League set-piece routines, the "olé" threshold & mistimed minute's applauses: The listeners' loves & hatesAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are free-kick decoy duties in Sunday League, predicting the moment the "olés" are about to start as a team sees out a comfortable win, the delicate act of picking balanced teams for 5-a-side, football's vandalism of the word "decimated", minute's applause that begin in the wrong minute and playing the ball off the wall at Powerleague.Visit no...2024-11-2847 minFootball Cliches5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in US T-junctions and the official Keys & Gray appAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in chronological knots, Martin Keown lavishes himself with the highest footballing praise, famously unfriendly footballers’ names in American T-junctions and Keys & Gray’s ill-fated 2011 bid to break into the app market.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive Manchester City defeats it would take for Pep Guardiola to be sacked.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beck...2024-11-2644 minFootball Cliches59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the first-ever usage of "tippy-tappy football”Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman.Meanwhile, the panel gauge the lowest level a referee could have played at to satisfy the "never played the game" brigade and wonder if a centre-back...2024-11-1938 minFootball ClichesxG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier League hat-trick pathwayAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier LeaguePlease VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of th...2024-11-1238 minFootball ClichesThe Vitality Stadium swing state, Noel Gallagher's co-comms & the "big five" of cheeseAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company.Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new book, Who Owns Football?Visit nordpn.com/cliches to get four...2024-11-0745 minFootball Cliches”Still 0-0, lads!", a man named Hattrick & the mid-2010s throw-in scandalAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners.Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of the 20 Premier League clubs and enjoy some sensational data journalism about elite-level throw-ins of the...2024-11-0545 minFootball ClichesCurses vs Hoodoos, journeyman film directors & Keysey's philosophersAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat.Meanwhile, the panel establish the fundamental footballing differences between a curse and a hoodoo and discuss household objects that they instinctively...2024-10-3144 minFootball ClichesJack Reacher's Villa 5-a-side team, two Andy Townsends & the most darts-looking PL managerAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends.Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager looks the most "darts" and enjoy the performance of a football commentator on a mid-1990...2024-10-2943 minFootball ClichesStyling out fake injuries & "How long ref?!": The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Doc Brown)Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper, the precise motivation for asking “How long ref?!” in Sunday League and the dubious importance of always knowi...2024-10-241h 07Football ClichesSalah's Sunday 4.30pm supremacy, Fred Again's biscuits & going down like a game of JengaAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary.Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about the best players for each Premier League kick-off time and discuss how to behave while...2024-10-2245 minFootball ClichesThe definitive game for every football scorelineAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline.A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly legendary 6-0s, Puskas vs Le Tissier in the battle for the definitive 6-3 and a very exotic 10-0 at the Maracana.Adam's new book, Extra Time...2024-10-171h 20Football ClichesArmchair admirals, Roberto Carlos darts & "Doing a [Club X]”Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to teach the world the language of English football and Richard Keys’ voice briefly appearing in the most random of places.Meanwhile, the panel provide a guide to "Doing a [Club X]" and select European stadiums that look more like English ones (an...2024-10-1541 minFootball ClichesLiverpool's radar status, lusty bangers & Richard Keys’ 12,476-game TV marathonAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most colours ever bled by a figuratively cut-open footballer, whether Liverpool really are "going under the radar" and doing the maths on Richard Keys' claim to have watched every Premier League game ever.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the most “you could see what he was trying to do there” football scenario and decide the most ideal team a stranger coul...2024-10-0845 minFootball ClichesAn incredible football birthday card, Dutch league-table madness & Mick McCarthy in the jungleAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven, Dutch football's rejection of the concept of top and bottom halves of a league table, a completely unwarranted use of "football club" by Tim Sherwood, rugby union claiming a try was a "screamer" and Mick McCarthy going into the jungle.Meanwhile, the panel attempt to define what it means to "tee up" a team-mate to shoot and take...2024-10-0144 minFootball ClichesFootball's shortest spell, the "in charge" threshold & the first half/second half vibe experimentAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the shortest “spell” ever documented in football, the textbook body language of a player subbed off in the first half, people whose names sound like plausible Carabao Cup fourth-round ties, the best combined-years stat of all time and much more.Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a team being "in charge" and ponder a psychological experiment relating to second halves of matches.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How...2024-09-2640 minFootball ClichesBeating the commentators to the punch and the ideal conditions for "nothing doing": The Listeners' fascinations and irritationsAdam Hurrey, David Walker, and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the joys of getting ready for five-a-side much earlier than you need to, the smug satisfaction of noticing something before the commentators do, the under-explored world of football TV studio furniture and the quintessential conditions for "nothing doing".Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available t...2024-09-2451 minFootball ClichesFootballing military ranks, Carabao chaos & a phrase only Sean Dyche would useAdam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: amateur league fortresses, Kylian Mbappe ascends to the "If Player X did that" throne, Mark Clattenburg's common-sense overload, some heart-stopping radio commentary from the San Siro, a disgraceful Carabao Cup hat-trick definition, a truly Dychian turn of post-match interview phrase, 2019/20 Brighton squad members popping up in BBC drama seriesMeanwhile, the panel detail the military ranks used in football and the do's and don't of goalscoring verbs in headlinesThe Football...2024-09-1944 minFootball ClichesJamie Carragher's match-ball voice, promotion fodder & three-sided fortressesAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a story of Sunday League admin woe, Jamie Carragher's vocal impression of a match ball waiting to be headed home, some typically made-up-sounding US soccer jargon, Callum Hudson-Odoi's goal-trademarking credentials, Referees Names in Things and the difference between "return fixtures" and "reverse fixtures".Meanwhile, the panel assure Oxford United that a three-sided stadium still be a "fortress" but fear for the future of the "if Player X had done that, we'd all be raving about it" concept.2024-09-1757 minFootball ClichesCarsley culture, scorelines you'd take before the game & the most left-footed Premier League clubAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: predicting the cultural impact of Lee Carsley’s England reign, an Arsenal legend's name in the NFL, the acceptable context to use the word "side" for a team, yet more football-chant confusion in the audiobook world, and Richard Keys and Andy Gray's visit to Jon Obi Mikel's podcast.Meanwhile, the panel decide which specific scorelines someone could say they would have “taken before the game” and the most left-footed club in Premier League history.T...2024-09-1255 minFootball Cliches”Welcome to League C", pointless penalty shootouts & the connoisseur's referee whistleAdam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and, on loan from the Career We Go podcast, Bobby Faghihi. On the agenda: the Nations League receives another stamp of approval from the language of football, some time-bending commentary from the Asian zone of World Cup qualifying, David Pleat provides a poetic twist on a Proper Football Man classic, unacceptable language from the Man Utd ticket office, puzzling penalty shootouts for England Under-18s, Elon Musk's "Earth-Mars transfer window" and the international-break exploits of Richard Keys.Meanwhile, the panel take a whistle-stop...2024-09-1051 minFootball ClichesSilky Toblerones, Serbian football small talk & telepathic right-backsAdam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the official Football Cliches Sporcle quiz, a beautifully baffling inclusion in a European footballer’s Wikipedia “Style of Play” section, elite-level football small talk in an early-2000s BBC drama series, the rather familiar name of New Zealand's 100m national record holder, an awkward footballing jigsaw-puzzle analogy and some scanning issues in the popular chant of "You're not fit to referee!"Meanwhile, the panel decide which players in a team can be said to have a "telepathic" partne...2024-09-0640 minFootball ClichesCometh the minute, poetic Andy Townsend and Keysey's quote-tweet masterpieceAdam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Charlie Eccleshare's Talksport tennis cameo, Peter Drury's new goalscoring surname obsession, Eddie Howe on Oasis goes exactly as you'd imagine, some assorted transfer-window curiosities, Andy Townsend speaks in iambic pentameter and some viral refereeing video content nobody asked for.Meanwhile, the panel decide if the "minute mark" of a game could ever be a thing, debate whether a lob can be "buried" and enjoy Richard Keys and the greatest quote-tweet of all time.2024-09-0446 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: The minutes left vs blood pressure ratioAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Michael Dawson's entry into the "so-called" pantheon, the latest bit of Romanian football-related small talk on Corrie, the threshold for "we owe them one", and the identity of the default Premier League website player silhouette REVEALED.Meanwhile, the panel marvel at an astonishing bit of agricultural metaphoring thanks to Ipswich Town's return to the Premier LeagueThe Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to London and Manchester...2024-08-2939 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Sparking a stroll, rickets vs howlers, and the Champions League anthem revampAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a welcome variation on a 'bit of both' from Gary Neville, the benefits of being as precise as possible when denoting how far out a goal is scored from, David Raya's sextet of goal-adjacent water bottles, and the weirdest 'for my sins' on a football phone-in ever.Meanwhile, the panel deliver their verdict on the subtle Champions League theme revampThe Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading...2024-08-2755 minFootball ClichesPlayers spotting themselves on the big screen & ironic referee cheering: The listeners' loves & hatesAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the anxiety-inducing moment that the score disappears from the screen during a TV game, European superclubs who have other sports teams affiliated with them, players catching a glimpse of themselves on the big screen and when ironic cheering of the referee goes too far.The Football Cliches Live show is back! Adam, Charlie & Dave are heading to L...2024-08-2242 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Big nutmegs, premature pacesetters & footballing disciplesAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The strangest way yet of expressing how young Brighton's manager is, a factual footballing catastrophe on an episode of Casualty, the most Peter Drury way of describing a player's pre-season performances, pre-game punditry wisdom and a curious story about Ajax's 1995 Champions League-winning team.Meanwhile, the panel decide when a team can be described as a division's "pacesetters" and who can be a "disciple" of an influential coach.The Football Cliches Live show...2024-08-2056 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Transfer limbo, Romania '94 small talk & Merson does StrictlyAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Diego Forlan as the most "tennis" footballer of modern times, some 8/10 football small talk on Coronation Street, the Premier League's ominous plans to tweet out VAR explanations in real time, the end of an era for the BBC and Garth Crooks, a superb fan-vs-player argument from non-league and Paul Merson's Strictly unveiling.Meanwhile, the panel reflect on some early teething problems for Sky's blanket EFL coverage and field the first-ever correspondence from a listener in Madagascar.2024-08-1541 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Sleeping horses and Harry Kane's complex classy touchAdam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: new heights for the concept of "peak Watford", one last round-up of curious Olympic commentary, whether you can "crash out" of the Community Shield, a rusty opening Football League weekend for users of the language of football, the most perfect refereeing appointment in Football League history and Harry Kane refusing to lift a trophy on his return to the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.Meanwhile, the panel sympathise with a Guardian article correction and provide the definitive list of...2024-08-1344 minFootball ClichesThe "Summer 2024 Transfers That Just Feel So Right" XIAdam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Nick's unexpectedly gruelling journey to witness Jose Mourinho's managerial return, the continuing battle of the "knowledgeable" Olympic crowds, the most uncompromising coaches imaginable at a kids football camp, a highly-rated League One press officer and some more footballing road-sign inconsistency.Meanwhile, the panel select a lineup based on this summer's transfers that just seemed destined to happen, including Kasper Schmeichel's inevitable Old Firm move, various Turkish Super Lig signings, elite journeymen...but not Oli McBurnie to Las...2024-08-0858 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Carbon-copy commentary & where clubs store their pre-season minutesAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some gloriously harmonious Olympic football commentary, some FA Cup revenge 72 years in the making, Man City's kick-off-delaying shame and a definitive analysis of where Premier League teams proverbially store their pre-season minutes. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some niche Olympic highlights and decide which opening-weekend Premier League fixture has the most “watch it in a bar on holiday” energy.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Lang...2024-08-0645 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Footballers with Olympicy names & Unexpected Kevin KeeganAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the moral implications of winning Most Improved Player two years in a row, the latest soap opera footballing small talk, a former England manager popping up in a 1980s US teen drama, the new Juventus away kit scraping the barrel for its inspiration and Richard Keys rolling back the years.Meanwhile, the panel select footballers who have overwhelmingly Olympic names.Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and...2024-08-0142 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Steve Coogan is playing Mick McCarthy in a film, what else is there to talk about?Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether you can "build a team around" a left-back, a data dive into a flippant newspaper line about Danny Drinkwater’s corner-taking, Steve Coogan's forthcoming role as Mick McCarthy in a film about the Roy Keane incident at the 2002 World Cup, an EFL shirt crisis and some more of society's obscure awardsMeanwhile, the panel weigh up whether Alexandre Lacazette is the textbook overage Olympic football squad member and decide the threshold for holding up an absent te...2024-07-3048 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Mourinho in Turkey, 71 billion calories & a football club every 2.24 secondsAdam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Adam Lallana squeezing in the phrase "football club" three times in just 6.8 seconds, Gareth Bale declaring himself the last piece of Real Madrid's mid-2010s jigsaw, a former Chelsea captain popping up in The Wire, un-highlights-able sports and a very brief history of England's pre-tournament warm-up games.Meanwhile, the panel enjoy the inevitable development that was Jose Mourinho to Fenerbache and decide if you can declare a tournament's "surprise package" in advance. Learn more about your...2024-06-0445 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: The most Premier League fixture there never wasAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some glorious urging-to-shoot from Watford's away fans, Seamus Coleman and the most loyal 3.67 seconds in football history, a commentator's unexpected darts digression, football words that "get bandied about a lot" and an unacceptably emphatic announcement of added-on time.Meanwhile, the panel envisage the exact opposite of a "striker's goal" and decide the most surprising fixture the Premier League has never seen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-01-1654 minFootball ClichesA superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30 yards and throw-in paranoiaAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point, the geographical hierarchy of English football, tiny ways of keeping yourself amused during televised games you don’t really care about, the "anti-urging" of a centre-back to shoot from 30 yards, journalists tweeting goal updates from games everyone is watching anyway and some very relatable throw-in paranoia.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a 90s Iri...2024-01-1148 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: The longest 3.85 seconds in football historyAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some ski-jumping commentary, fundamental football words we never knew had been cancelled, the minimum requirement for an FA Cup "journey" and the longest ever delay between a goal being scored and the away fans celebrating at the other end.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the "It's just like watching Brazil" threshold, decide which stadium PA announcement would get the least response from a crowd and it's Eccleshare vs Miller in a Happy Hunting Grounds quiz-off. 2024-01-0945 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Washing machines that sound like refereesAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the first Adjudication Panel of 2024. The agenda includes: Matt Upson co-commentating on the rain, home appliances that sound like football things, barrel-scraping content in elite players' autobiographies, a long-overdue confession from Roque Santa Cruz and Richard Keys' Erik ten Hag impression.Meanwhile, the panel decide what sort of shot constitutes a "piledriver" and whether a chance can be "tucked wide”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2024-01-0444 minFootball ClichesThe Football Cliches Quiz IXThe Football Clichés Quiz returns for its ninth edition, and after years of standing on the sidelines it's finally the turn of David Walker to step up to the plate and take on defending champion Adam Hurrey, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare once again assuming the role of quizmaster.Walker and Hurrey battle it out over another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Stuart Pearce's favourite areas of outstanding natural beauty, who Richard Keys likes to talk to about his blog in the gym, Premier League training ground name battles and much more. 2023-12-2647 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Are we all truly ready for a Club World Cup?Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the final Adjudication Panel of 2023. The agenda includes: the football-as-chess-match analogy going too far, which club are most strongly associated with "languishing", if the current Championship table is the most Championship-looking in recent memory and a concerning new colloquialism among the refereeing family.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how we will consume a 32-team, month-long Club World Cup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-12-2152 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Glovesmiths and parking the bus at the Battle of KurskAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a tenuous talking point from Liverpool 0-0 Man Utd, Brazilian commentators fascinated by the East Anglian derby, an unprecedented new alternative word for "goalkeeper", a former Premier League defender’s name buried in Turkish psychedelic folk and a bumper edition of Keys & Gray Corner.Meanwhile, the panel ponder an unexpected football reference in a sombre World War II podcast and enjoy an English football phrase that is slowly contaminating US corporate culture. Learn more about yo...2023-12-1947 minFootball ClichesCentre-backs on the wing & "comunicado oficial"The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are foreign vocabulary you absorb through football, the debatable thrill of a 50-50 challenge between players with the same shirt number, lumbering centre-backs who suddenly find themselves out on the wing, the unwritten laws of a referee playing advantage and teams not bothering to launch an attack in first-half injury time.Meanwhile, the Cliché pod announces its 2024 live tour, which visits Manchester, Bi...2023-12-1449 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: "The Mesut Ozil of public transportation"Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Sean Dyche's multi-platform campaign against inauthentic goal celebrations, some truly wholesome commentary from the BBC's Jonathan Pearce, "the Mesut Ozil of public transportation", an 8/10 footballer's name in something, a tremendous Premier League Years-related story and the most sensual post-match interviewer of all time.Meanwhile, the panel weigh up an intriguing "ketchup bottle" metaphor for ending a goal drought, rate Joseph Fiennes' Gareth Southgate voice and speculate what the "sting" is that gets "taken out of the game". 2023-12-1246 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: "He hit it where Grandma hides the jam jars"Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the 'goalscoring formality' commentator intonation, the best off-pitch storming the Premier League has ever seen, Gary Neville's audio cameo in Squid Game: The Challenge, a new Italian contender to describe the top corner and Richard Keys lays out the future for Manchester United.Meanwhile, the panel debate what it means for a team to "come unstuck", choose the most Euros-y Euro 2024 group and decide if there should be a height limit to be called a "maestro".2023-12-0553 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: Can a goalkeeper be a wonderkid?Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an inevitable Championship chant, the final reckoning for Harry Redknapp's car window, the first name on the teamsheet for a PGMOL Fast-Tracked Ex-Player Referees XI and a new low for football in films.Meanwhile, Charlie and David go head-to-head once again in Premier League goalscoring quiz Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-3045 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: The things in football you can 'ooze'Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Peter Drury's weather reports, the crucial difference between being "found out" and "worked out", things you can "ooze" in football, and who can and cannot be said to have "graced the Premier League".Meanwhile, the panel take a close look at a magnificent YouTube 90s football project and envisage the archetypal "seen 'em given" penalty incident. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-2848 minFootball ClichesFootball freestylers & Sunday league rondo etiquetteAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the very deliberate way managers drink their bottled water, a deep dive into amateur-level stud selection, an unfathomable fetish for free kicks into the box that bounce all the way in, the merits of football freestylers, the etiquette of pre-match Sunday League rondos and goalkeepers who look like they've carried the ball out of the box before kicking it from their hands.Meanwhile, t...2023-11-2344 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: 'The Scott McTominay of antibiotics'Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: bands named after footballers, fixtures being described as "mouthwatering" after they've happened, "the Scott McTominay of antiobiotics" and who exactly a player's "opposite number" is.Meanwhile, there's a photo-finish in For My Sins Corner and Charlie's out for revenge in Premier League goals quiz Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-2143 minFootball ClichesThe Pure EFL XIAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Ali Maxwell - co-creator of the Not The Top 20 podcast - to take on the daunting task of selecting a lineup of players that embody the Football League in all its glory.The selection panel weigh up a long list of ex-England Under-21 goalkeepers, stalwarts who dragged their clubs up through the divisions, players turned pundits, playmakers who dropped down the ladder to shine and cheerfully relentless goal machines. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-1657 minFootball ClichesThe Adjudication Panel: How many errors make a comedy of errors?Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the inside story of a viral Sunday League wondergoal, the Premier League's Twitter account crosses a line, a Luton fan's incredibly niche spreadsheet and how Blackburn Rovers briefly got embroiled in the Iraq WarMeanwhile, the panel debate what constitutes a "rasping" shot and set the threshold for a defensive "comedy of errors." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-1446 minFootball ClichesThe dying art of managers moving upstairs, the 'revelation' threshold, and some low-key FA Cup magicAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some low-key FA Cup magic from Horsham FC's Twitter account, yet more footballspeak in the political sphere, what makes a player "a revelation" and the dying art of managers "moving upstairs".Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many goals constitute a player "helping themselves", which players are permitted to "run a game" and the first-choice verb for collecting assists. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-0748 minFootball ClichesEngland's Euro 2024 clamour forecast and a Premier League quiz for the agesAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the final word on the "giant clubs" debate, some troubling new verbs emerging in the free-kick department and ex-Premier League wingers popping up in 2006 alt-country album tracksMeanwhile, the panel forecast England's Euro 2024 clamouring saga and the pod dramatically unveils its new mini-quiz format, Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-11-0246 minFootball ClichesThe most comprehensive definition of 'ghosting in' of all timeAdam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether or not a player's nickname can be inspired by a player from the same division, what constitutes a "late show", the art of the fake final whistle, the so-called refereeing "Big Two", an absurd development for Footballers' Names in Things, and which European clubs are eligible to be their country's "giants".Meanwhile, the panel define which errors are the most 'schoolboy' and try to calculate the maximum speed and distance of a player "ghosting in". 2023-10-3141 minFootball ClichesThe Pure La Liga XIAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Lang to compile the quintessential lineup of players from the last few decades of Spanish football and its many idiosyncrasies.The selection panel weigh up "the Spanish Dave Beasant", at least three left-backs called "Fran", the inevitable Joaquin, a 7/10 story about Ruben Baraja, some pretty playmakers, an astonishing number of Serbians and a heartbreaking choice between two ageing Basque goal-getters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices2023-10-2656 minFootball ClichesSean Dyche's Glasto, cheat codes and a data dive into 'too little, too late'Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a triple helping of "footballers' names appearing in things", Sean Dyche describes his Glastonbury weekend exactly as a football manager would, what constitutes a "crisp finish", footballing "cheat codes", early consolation goals and a potential fixture pile-up in an actual farmers' league and Richard Keys's latest irritation.Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many goals behind a team has to be to "have it all to do" and wonder why nobody's ever seen a footballer sneeze mid-game.2023-10-2448 minFootball ClichesBackground pub TV games, flip flaps & the quiet dignity of a club-branded mugAdam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the political influences on modern-day school playground football, unacceptable names for skill moves, subtle ways to declare your club allegiance to office colleagues and a deep analysis of the lure of a background pub TV game that you didn’t think you'd care about.Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some classy co-commentary from Dion Dublin and contemplate the cricket equivalent of footballing "dreamland"....2023-10-1950 minFootball ClichesElectric in the air, the 'chipped in with X goals' threshold & Our Summer With Richard KeysAdam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as the Cliches podcast returns with the first Adjudication Panel of 2023/24. The agenda includes: how and when a player can be “electric”, some scepticism about Dominik Szoboszlai’s Steven Gerrard-inspired tattoo, a sensational description for a central-midfield partnership and a long-awaited catch-up with Keys & Gray.Meanwhile, the panel challenge the current “tackles always look worse in slow motion” dogma and decide, once and for all, how many goals constitute “chipping in” to a team’s season. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.c2023-10-1759 minFootball ClichesThe Football Clichés podcast is back! (Trailer)Why do we talk about football the way we do? Adam Hurrey’s truly unique podcast returns to explore the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés. It’s a podcast about everything we take for granted about the modern game.Twice a week, the Football Clichés Adjudication Panel will rule on the latest crimes against football’s complex language, select obscure themed XIs, welcome star guests to choose their niche footballing loves and hates, and much more. Learn mo...2023-10-1101 min